Aspergers and social phobia

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As well as Aspergers, I have social phobia. I am wondering if all Aspies also suffer social phobia. It would seem that the two naturally go together.

When I am in a social group I inevitably feel tense and ill at ease. So I avoid such interactions wherever possible, which causes people to consider me antisocial, a negative connotation carrying suggestions of unfriendliness and being supercilious. Although I do not feel unfriendly or supercilious to people.

It is at the point where I even cross the road to avoid meeting people, even people I quite like and who quite like me, because I know that I will be stuck to make conversation with them and the encounter will be awkward and embarrassing for both of us.

Is this a natural consequence of being an Aspie, or is it some additional problem that only some of us have?

i'm positive that only some aspies have SA/Socialphobia

btw i have SA/Socialphobia

Yeah I have it too, but I've tried to work on it. It doesn't feel any better, but at least it looks that way to others. Damn this social world!

In one on one conversations I'm never afraid, but I either pound them with information or have nothing to say at all, in small groups I can become terrified, in extra large groups I can't stop smiling, and walk around trying to share love with everybody..

The trouble with social phobia is that it tends to make you withdraw from people, and of course this makes it ever harder to make friends.

For myself, I don't see it as a phobia. A phobia is an irrational fear. Anticipating that what's gonna happen is the same thing that always happens doesn't seem like a phobia. I don't have a phobia of dropping large rocks on my foot. I just know what's gonna happen if I try it.

I take your point. But call it a phobia, or call it something else, the effect is the same.

wow thats crazy, I pretty much am always smiling even in really crappy situations where i'm uncomfortable

I'd call it complications of Asperger's. Social phobia springing from repeated bad experiences, as in my case. I actually have deliberately stopped trying to make eye contact. For a while there I thought I'd get used to it if I kept at it and all it did was give me more frustration so that I finally bitterly decided to scrap the whole effort. I try to make a certain amount in a one-on-one conversation, but I hate it when I'm out among strangers. Too many surprises. I need structure in conversation.

Anyway, I've had too many bad experiences stemming from my inability to improvise in conversation. I am also horribly uncomfortable with the influence of others... their nearness, the memory of their faces, their voices, their scent, their warmth, and most of all, their ideas. Many people give their opinions as if they had the right to order you to agree, but I have difficulty telling that they are out of order until I have had time to reflect. I have also come to dread the awkward breaking of eye contact and of conversation when I say something someone else can't quite process.

I guess "a complication of Aspergers" is a good way of putting it. Aspergers leads to difficulty in social situations which then leads to social phobia. This must be the common course of events. In my case I think social phobia also developed due to being bullied at school for being bookish and hopeless at sport and athletics. Experiences of rejection over many years is a good recipe for social phobia, I suppose.

I avoid large groups as much as possible. The negative consequences I've had from having "friends" has taught me a lot. Talking on this bulletin board is the most talking I do without counting the perfunctory (socially expected) conversations at work, shopping, haircuts, etc.

I avoid other people as much as possible. There are times when I am forced into interaction, like at work, but I really prefer to just be on my own. Message board, cool. Having to suffer through the grocery store line when the cashier is talking non-stop, not so cool. In situations where people are talking and it's not something I'm interested in, or I want them to stop talking to me, I find myself getting very formal and enunciating my words to the point that the other person realizes I'm doing this. I think I do it for two reasons, one, to make them uncomfortable and think I'm weird because I know when people think I'm weird they leave me alone and two, when I enunciate, I know that I'm saying the right words and hopefully being understood.

Granted, there are times when I do want to be social, but it usually doesn't work out that I can be social when I want to be. The people that I want to be social with are usually busy, which is upsetting to me and makes them think of me as demanding because they see me as wanting attention from them immediately. Which I guess in a sense, is true. I want people on my terms when I want them. Which is not often.

NT's seriously worry about people who actually like to be alone. I think there's nothing wrong with avoiding people because that's the way I'm comfortable. I stopped trying to force myself into interactions that I didn't want to have a long time ago.

Yes, I'm described as the quiet neighbor who keeps to herself.

I believe I have this.

I have severe social phobias IRL. There have been points where I couldn't even open the door for the UPS guy.

Same for me. There are times when I won't go to the community mailbox in my apartment complex and the mail man gets upset with me because I don't go pick up my mail for days.

I prefer online shopping for clothing and shoes (but to be perfectly honest, I'd rather wear the same clothes I've been wearing for years, which is why I tend to pick classic clothing that doesn't go out of style). I go to the grocery stores at odd hours and I use the self-check out lines. I would do online grocery shopping, but I really don't even want the delivery driver coming to my door.

I don't even particularly like talking on the phone with strangers. (Telemarkers and junk like that.) I swear the only reason I remember to pay my bills on time is so that I don't have anyone calling me from the companies that provide me service. The result is the same, the company is thinking I'm a great customer, but I don't do it because it's a responsible thing for me to do, I do it to avoid phone calls.

I have this social phobia too. It's real hard when you're married and your husband has to have you go to these social things and parties and whatnot. I absoulutely hate it. If I drink some alcohol that 'helps' me. But I don't feel comfortable and most times I tell my husband, no, I'm not going to this or that. After a lot of that, I make myself go because hes let me slide for most of it. I hate small talk and would rather talk physics, travel, food, writers, something more deep with others that like the same. Sometimes I realize I must go to some things because it's expected. But if I can get out of it, I'm out, baby.