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pbcoll
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21 Feb 2008, 5:58 pm

I come from a culture in which physical contact is very common, and probably thanks to this I don't have issues being touched (I did as a child but I've overcome it). However, touching others does not come to me naturally and it's not something I can do spontaneously, without thinking. As a result, I don't really know how to respond if others do touch me (ok, except in extreme cases) - I realise it's usually a sign of liking, but I don't know how and when to touch them back, because it's not something I do automatically it would probably come out forced and wooden and that is likely worse than not reciprocating at all. With guys it's not too hard for me to give them a pat on the back or something sometimes, but with girls there is more room for misunderstanding - I've been thinking of this since recently two girls (one of them a Muslim, funnily enough) touched me on the arm in a friendly way. What makes the problem worse is that, as a foreigner, I'm not always sure what the societal rules are for this, and they may well not be sure how to interpret me.
Any thoughts?


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Trugen
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21 Feb 2008, 7:30 pm

no clue, though maybe you should read up on how to touch correctly, seriously im sure its somewhere on the internet
(like a wikihow on how to have personal contact)


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zee
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22 Feb 2008, 3:08 am

There are different ways to touch. I don't feel comfortable touching people in the traditional way, but I have this 'friendly punch' thing that I do--basically just punch someone lightly in the arm, kind of like saying 'hey you'.



m91
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22 Feb 2008, 8:51 am

zee wrote:
There are different ways to touch. I don't feel comfortable touching people in the traditional way, but I have this 'friendly punch' thing that I do--basically just punch someone lightly in the arm, kind of like saying 'hey you'.


I do that all the time, and people do it to me as well.


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MissConstrue
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24 Feb 2008, 4:34 pm

I kind of have the same problem. AA meetings have sort of helped me understand when it's good to give someone a hug for support. You probably don't have a drinking problem though so don't feel alone. Maybe a small pat on the back and a "How are you?" It seems to work for me. I don't normally hug unless I know that person real well.