Its my NT friend who pushes me over the edge

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There is only one person who is constantly pushing me over the edge. That would be my NT friend, who I talk to on MSN every night.

Like tonight for instants. We are discussing our history project, and she starts telling me about the way I do it ( She does the speech first, then the presentation whilst I do presentation then Speech) and telling me I do it the hard way. Then as i'm explaining she keeps saying 'lol' in her responses. I ask her to stop, and she starts on about how I'm trying to control her and acting like a teacher. This gets me saying she's being unconciderate, and her saying its not harming anyone, and therefore I shouldn't have a problem with it.

Then she says that unlike some people she likes to laugh rather than lash out, and that is what pushed me over the edge. Whatever she might have ment, I could only interpreate it as a snub at me, and that hurts. I start yelling. Then, mustering all my self control I again reply as calmly as I could that she should watch what she says and then closed the convo. About 3 times she IMs me again, and I tell her to leave me alone. She then says that I'm sounding alot calmer, to which I replied that I was lucky enough to have an ounch of self control. She then says its good that I'm calm again, and I respond by telling her that acutally I am feeling so furious that I could start throwing things out the window, to which I get the response that its not good to get worked up. I then tell her that she better watch what she says, and I close the convo. End of discussion.

Atleast once a week I fight with my friend, and it always ends with me getting upset and angry, and then I feel extremely tired. Its always around the same basis. She may know that I'm an Aspie, but that doesn't mean she understands. She thinks she does, but she doesn't. And she doesn't think before she speaks. There are always these little remarks that get at me, like that one about lashing out.

*sigh* Does anyone else have this problem?

Well, it sounds like its not all her. You're saying she should be understanding, but you're asking her not to say "lol" all the time. There are some annoying like habits that you just have to learn to ignore in order to maintain a friendship, and that seems like a silly thing to start a fight over. Don't sweat the small stuff.

I try to remember that i dont come across as obvious to a lot of people..

Some people might think the things I say are funny or strange but thats ok.

As long as we stay positive and try to work together there will be no hate.

Sometimes people say that they want to punch me in the face for not seeing what they see..

And i can see how if something is obvious to them but hard for me then i can come across as being stubborn.

But i know that they dont really want to hurt me and that there are things that i see that they dont and wouldnt be able to as easily but they dont necesarily realize that.

But ive never been able to exist on the basis that anyone understands me.

It takes patience, tolerance, compassion, forgiveness.. etc.

I have a friend like this.
He's oblivious to himself. Often I envy him. Hes an ass and nobody can stand him but he doesnt see it.

I told him once that everybody is irritated by how useless it is to try to talk to him about ANYTHING. His answer "Well, nobody told me!"

Antway when we argue he always brings up the fact that I've been i therapy so I obviously don't know what I'm talking about.

Just because you havent been doesnt ,mean you dont need to.

You know, there are a *lot* of so-called "neurotypical" people who make me look normal by comparison.

"NT" people don't look normal or well to me by any standard.

[quote="TrueDave"]

Antway when we argue he always brings up the fact that I've been i therapy so I obviously don't know what I'm talking about.

[quote]

therapy is going to make a person MORE knowledgeable..

It looks like you both reach breaking points, try to talk about something less explosive, such as why you hate. Mr. Smith, or Mrs. Johnson