I hate being early for things...

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At Karate, my Sensei is trying to make everyone arrive 15 minutes before the class starts, because he is annoyed that every week people keep coming in late - & it's not not always me!! !! !.

My problem is that I hate being early for things because of the social issues.

Like, if I get there before any of the other people I ever talk to (of whom in that class there are only about 3 or 4, who may not even be there that week) I just stand there feeling really awkward.

That is why I prefer to run in about 2 minutes before the start, just in time to get ready, grab a drink and say "Hello".

It is not that I hate no-one talking to me, I just hate other people seeing me standing there on my own and thinking I am weird or unfriendly.

I just hate other people seeing me standing there on my own and thinking I am weird or unfriendly.

Neurotypicals will often think you're weird or unfriendly if you don't constantly greet and jabber, don't let it bother you. Just keep in mind that you're a rung furthur up the evolutionary ladder than they and try to forgive them. They are only apes, after all.

I do, however, understand your feelings. My father is one of those people who insists on being early for everything, and as a kid, I hated that, for precisely the reasons you describe. The label I remember hearing most was 'standoffish'. I still have those feelings in the waiting room at my therapist's, where other patients seem to have their own nuerotic need to (as my dad used to say) "hear their own heads rattle".

Now that you mention it though, I wonder if that's the reason I've always been habitually a few minutes late for almost any job. Perhaps it's an unconcious attempt to avoid those awkward foot-shuffling moments at startup when people talk about nothing and show each other their children's photographs. If you come in late, everyone else is already busy and hardly looks up at you. Of course, you eventually get fired for it, but at least at home on unemployment, you don't have to chat idly with the commoners.

Funny - people are usually pleasantly surprised when I'm on time for an appointment. Apparently most NTs have so much going on in their lives that they are regularly late for their appointments. I don't like being early though since it makes me seem over-eager. I'd rather walk around the block three times to be precisely on time.

Oh, I had that problem too when I was a kid and I hated it.

To avoid the situation, I simulated that I was very busy doing something like stretching or tying my shoes tighter (again and again) or searching for something in my sports bag, etc. So the other kids probably thought "Oh, he's not unfriendly, he's just busy right now. When he finishes what he's doing he will talk to somebody." But then the class started and the problem was over.

I am unable to be late for anything. No matter how hard I try, i always get to places early - I am actually scared of being late, but often I arrive ridiculously early. If someone has a party I am always the first to arrive - often by an hour or more (and for a party I always make sure I am later than the invitation says, so as not to be too early, but despite this I am still the first one - does mean though that I can talk to the host without anyone else being there, then leave early). I am constantly hanging around awkwardly waiting for things to start. Often I try and time things so I will arrive exactly on time, but still get there early.

I too prefer to be precisely on time. When I teach at 2 I show up exactly at 2. If it is 1:58 I will wait 2 minutes before I show up. I like to start right when I walk in so I don't have to chit-chat or stand around waiting. My students know that I will start exactly at 2 so they are mostly there on time.

Wow I have the exact same thing. We need to get to martial arts early because people were arriving late.

I have been going for a couple of years and i do enjoy it, but most times I'm mightily relieved when it is over. I get quite apprehensive before coming. It is left over from my social anxiety, which is much improved from what it was. I still have to force myself to do stuff.

I'm a bit happier with it now a) because of experience and b) because a really nosy annoying person doesn't come any more. Actually he thought he was an aspie. He may well be but I don't have to like every aspie. He would alway ask me really intrusive questions and he tried to get me to do free programming work for him. This guy alway bragged about how much of a hot shot programmer he was.

Now I do a little bit of talking when I come early not much, just the bare minimum to acknowledge people are there. Otherwise I'm doing a slow warm up. I would focus on doing a warm up.

I tend to be early for everything as I make sure to actually get to whatever it is at the proper time. 5-10mn is my normal early time for everything as most people are happy to start something early if its an interview or appointment for something. Restaurants tend to run either fast or slow so arriving early is never a bad thing.

However I do as well tend to burn some time to arrive exactly on time whether it is sit in my car or walk around a bit. My best friend has balanced me out a bit over the last few months, hoping I can do the same for her.

Same. If I arrive to something late, I usually can't walk in as I can't handle everyone staring at me.

Well, that's what I TRY to do - in fact I never quite make it and am nearly always a couple of minutes late (it's those weird couple of minutes that always seem to vanish between the time I leave the house & the time I start the car! I never know where they vanish to!

Seriously, I'm glad it's not just me! This issue is definitely the reason I am always late - in fact if I am too early I consciously think "I can't leave yet, I'll have to find something to do for the next 5 minutes" & then end up being late.

As a child at school it was worse though - I used to have to make sure all the other kids had already left for class before I went to my locker, so that they did not bully me. I ended up carrying my whole day's worth of books around with me all day rather than go to my locker at breaks & lunch.

As for the warm-up thing - we warm up as part of the class, so to do that would seem a little odd. Sometimes I make a big thing of tying & re-tying my belt though (we have bare feet, so no laces). Maybe I should try practising some moves.