Dealing with Friendly Teasing

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I was wondering if anyone had any advice on how to deal with friendly teasing?

It tends to really me bother me and I'm not quite sure how to deal with it. I mean, most of the social ineptness I kind of expect and am fairly able to deal with, I just don't like it.

However, a lot of my friends are starting to make fun of me because of my deafness on one side. A hearing aide really doesn't help, as it is full deafness in one ear, all I can do is wear a crossover which blocks off a fair bit of my natural hearing, and it does nothing to amplify. They know I can't help it but they seem to really go crazy teasing when I ask for something to be repeated. To be fair to them, it's annoying to be reasked something, but . . .

Does anyone have an advice on either how to handle it, or how to get them to understand that I really mean it when I say it bothers me?

Well, they say communication is a good idea. Have you told them you don't like it when they tease you about it? Tell them it's a sensitive issue for you.

I explained to my friends that I was not shutting down their teasing me altogether (that wouldn't have been fair, for one thing they use it as a method of showing affection or something, and for another I do it too), but that there were certain things I didn't like being teased about - namely, in my case, when I'd made a social mistake or faux pas and didn't want to be reminded of it indefinitely (I'm very sensitive about that).
That worked out well, because I haven't turned myself into this cold person who cannot tolerate teasing, but I no longer get the focus on my social inadequacies - now they tease me for learning all about new outdoor gear or for clumsiness in the kitchen or something.

I've always had the same issue... Partly because I was teased as a kid and back then it was more than just joking around, the other reason is because of my aspergers I just dont know how to respond to it. I watch others in that situation, they fire back insults or tease them back, or some just play into it. Myself, I never know how to handle it and tend to just walk away from it.

Same thing here. I wonder how many potential friends I lost when someone tried to friendly teast me, and I took offense to it. NTs do it constantly back and forth amongst eachother, but I usually take it personally unless it's coming from someone I know really well, and even from them I get defensive from time to time.

Agree with both of the above posters

Overall your post is a very good idea. Part of the problem is the social faux pas thing too actually - One of them's been really trying hard to help me "get over my social problems", but recently it went from honest occasional statements to mild teasing, to always pointing it out, which makes you almost afraid sneeze sometimes -.-

Is there a way you found to just get them to say it once and leave it for a while?

To the other posters: Ya, I've mentioned it, but maybe it didn't register.

Mishcana: getting people to say it once has been a challenge for me. If I ask them for help, or they decide to help, they feel the need to point it out every time. I suppose if they say it once, and I don't immediately change or I slip up, then they assume I need to be told again. And if I ask them not to repeat themselves (this is one friend specifically), it's "well, if you want my help, don't tell me how to do it or that I can't say anything."
I think that basically, it requires a lot of reminders that you've already heard it and are working on it. I think it also helps if occasionally you can say, "I didn't forget what you said, but here is why I did something else instead," so they know that you're not unaware - you just have reasons for not doing it, or you just can't, or it takes practice.

I get this everyday at work but I know it's for a laugh so I just join in and do it back. I just try and make myself think it's a joke since alot of us can take things literally.

Sorry to rip this out of context but I'm also deaf in one ear and was told there's really nothing that can be done about it. So what is this crossover aid? Does it really help? Naturally my hearing blindspots are pretty small, the real problems are the lack of directional hearing and inability to hear over background noise. I can't see how a hearing aid would help with this.

Teasing never seemed friendly (such a conclusion never even occurred to me) all throughout my life. Was picked on a lot during my adolescent years, felt quite the opposite of "friendly" behavior/treatment. With people I don't know, I cannot imagine that it (them making mockery of me) would be anything other than cruelly-intentioned. Wouldn't dare tease a stranger.

Only now, with a select few people, can I tolerate mild teasing (without excommunicating/banishing the person). Still cannot discern when it's intended to be "good-natured" vs. mean, esp. since joking at another's expense seems inherently invalidating & disrespectful.

Have to ask the person, who will be surprised that I didn't pick up on the fact that it wasn't serious/meant to hurt my feelings. Have to check the facial expresssion & tone of voice, if it's person I know (we've familiar enough relationship for me to question whether this is meant to be harmless). On the rare occasions I try teasing, I put effort into making sure my inflection & expression are exagerrated in order to insure other person knows I'm being non-serious.

First of all, I hope you're pretty young, because I can't imagine the kind of adults who would tease someone about a disability. Seems more like something kids would do.

In general, I think you have to evaluate the situation and ask yourself if maybe the person isn't aware that what they're doing is really bothering you? In that case I would say just be direct, say something like, "Could you not keep giving me s**t about my ear? It really sucks." But if you think they're doing it to get a reaction out of you, and they like seeing you uncomfortable, which is sometimes the case if they're the type of person that puts others down to make themselves feel good, talking to them might not help.

A friend of mine used to tease me a lot, I started talking to him less, he emailed me that I was too sensitive. I wrote back, "So? I like being sensitive." And he wrote "I like you being sensitive, too. Sorry." He's pretty careful about that stuff now...of course if you're a boy, that might not work as well...

Another thing I do when someone purposely says something I feel is rude or insulting is to get sarcastic, just say something like, "Thanks, that's exactly what I needed to hear right now." They usually drop it after that...personally, I think it's okay to get pissed off about teasing, it is pretty immature.