Moving into a shared apartment.

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This is a question for those that have had this experience.

I'm 22 and haven't lived outside of my parents' house. I'm closer and closer to moving out because I hate living with them. Part of this is that I have pretty much no proper friends and I feel that this is holding me back from making any.

So my question is this: Did any of you here with Asperges find that moving into a shared apartment with a bunch of strangers made you happy with your social life? Like you didn't have that horrible lonely feeling like you would if you were at home?

Thanks for your thoughts,

James

I don't know if shared apartment is being used as some technical re-wording of "group home" or if it's meant as just a description of lots of people living together in an apartment.

I've lived in an apartment with three people I'd never met before (picked out for me by someone I did know). Not some technical kind of apartment just an apartment.

Didn't make me any more or less lonely, but made me a lot more stressed out.

My first year of college, I lived with a (randomly selected) roommate and piggybacked on her social life. I got invited to movies, conventions, and small parties. It was no different from living at home and piggybacking on my brother's social life. Either way I would much prefer to live alone than have the extra social opportunities. But if I had wanted them, they were there.

I was placed randomly with others in college and several of us are still friends 10 years later. However, I was trying very hard at that time to make friends. Several years later, living with people was beginning to drive me nuts.
So
I prefer to live alone for my own sanity.
But having some strangers forced into your living space could be a good way to make friends without having to go out looking for them.
They could be jerks though, but you could always move out in that case.

So you gotta ask yourself... do you feel lucky ?

I think I could handle jerks - I have to work with some of the jerkiest people around so I've learnt how to handle the worst of the worst.

And I think I should add to my previous message - I also feel that moving out from my parents and into a flat would force me to be more productive generally. I guess I would feel uncomfortable just loafing around like I do now in my spare time. Does anyone have any yeses or nos to this theory?

I think that depends on who you are living with. I have lived in three different groups during my independance. As long as the other people were fairly active I too was fairly active. However, living with my ADD husband tends to take me to the place where I also don't want to do anything.

Y

I feel *more* comfortable loafing when I'm on my own because I don't have anyone making comments about my sleeping in, bringing friends over when I feel like it, or spending massive amounts of time on the computer.

I would guess so, but privacy is not what you would get under those circumstances, unfortunately.

Il be very careful who i move in with before ever sharing an apartment again. You would have thought a hurricane hit Glasgow with the amount of mess and looting that went on in my last shared apartment.

That's what life was like when I lived with my ex. The mess and noise was enough to send me into overload. Not only was I working 2 jobs and taking a full courseload at college, but I couldn't even decompress during my free time because my apartment was a disaster area all the time. I could spend all Saturday and Sunday cleaning, and by Wednesday the place would have been trashed again. Not surprisingly, I had a meltdown at least once every two weeks when I was living there. I never want to deal with that again.

I moved out of my parents' house a year ago, and I'm very glad I did, even though my first year away hasn't been perfect.
I lived with eight (yes eight!) others in a flat, who were all pretty sociable people, up for anything kind of thing. I found it harder in some ways, because I had to share a kitchen with many new people and it got quite noisy, but I also loved having a room all to myself, and the freedom to do what I wanted when I wanted.

I'd say go for it, as long as you have your own space it should be okay.
I'm living with just one other person right now, which is a lot calmer than last year, but also means its less easy to hide, and means more social interaction.

Good luck

I move out of my parents about 2 years ago. The first person I lived with was a 17 year old hippy stoner. She was so excepting and loving she made up the 3 rules for living with Aj.
1 except even if u don’t understand
2 don’t take it personally
3 Not apropret for this Pg thred
It was wonder full being kicked out was the best thing that happened to me. not living with my mother cut my stress in half and I found interacting with people is ezer at a place I can call my own because I make the rules. She was lovely but stuff happened she moved back to mount barker and I was going to move in with some one who I though was my best friend then two weeks before my other lease ended she diced that she did not really want to live with me and I got stuck in the house from hell with a marred couple about my age with a 2 year old and another one on the way and the dirtiest messiest house ever (I have a germ problem worst 2 month of my life). Then I move in with another 17 year old and her mother I had only met the mother 1 and I did not know the 17 year old very well and was very worriedly but desperate. I was very luckily terns out the whole family is not very NT at all and we get on very well . and I am very relax agene and my social life is blooming. Yah I think I kinda like people then I hate them so I am not sure it is a good thing but at least I am relax

The shared apartment is a good tactic. You see, socializing in general isn't natural. It is terribly akward. And social people get by this by ignoring or being unable to percieve the akward boundries they are breaking. Situations where you are required to be in close proximity and socialize as normal are the best for our kind. School, work, shared living. Depending on the setting you can get very social in these places because you are expected to be social. But other ways of being social, you are kind of intruding on someone elses business.