Cab driver the other day. . .

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. . .so I'm late for work again and pick a cab instead of the subway. It's not uncommon to end up doing smalltalk with cab drivers.

This guy in his early thirties (I'd guess) appeared friendly, sober, down to earth. . .
There's a traffic jam and we exchange a few words about it. He lets me know of the traffic jam that's bound to take place during that afternoon down the same road - a workers parade I hadn't heard of.

I follow his talk with comments like "yeah, you bet! lol". . . as I know I can.

. . .until I say "Yeah, downtown at 6pm is a freaking black hole!". I little warning sign was going on and off in my mind urging me not to say that, as usual, but since I saw no logical reason to omit that statement I did anyway. . . as usual.

For some reason. . . as expected, the guy reacted like I'd said I eat human flesh for breakfast. He became terribly serious as I finished my statement - focused on a terrible invisible point slightly to his right and below his normal line of sight. He made no reply and remained terribly serious for the rest of the ride. For the next 10 minutes no one spoke a word and so it was until I got off and payed. I tried not to worry since things like this have happened before - I looked out the window with my usual stupid smirk.

I dismiss people like this guy as rather dumb since anyone at least beyond primary school knows the very basics of what a black hole supposedly is and everyone who happens to have a job in this city knows that traffic makes it very hard to quickly leave the downtown area on Friday evenings - it doesn't require any thought and even if what I said sounded lame that's no reason to abort all communications. It has happened before, however. . . It's like I threw the ball too hard or too far.

I'm just posting it 'cause it sounds like a typical aspie vs nt situation; though I still think there are nts smarter than this guy. . . I don't care much about what happened; it just called my attention - especially as I somehow knew that statement would screw it. . .

I dont get it

I don't get it either - maybe the conversation stopped cause you got up-tight -- nothing wrong with what you said, and even if he did not know what a blackhole was --- so what?

er. . . no. . . the conversation stopped because he got uptight (as I described) and I'm only curious about the way he overreacted and how I was still getting the feeling that a statement like that had a high chance of screwing up the whole smalltalk-situation even though it didn't make logical sense.

. . .like people get weirded out if taken slightly outside certain small talk boundaries and when that is bound to happen I can sense it even if I later on blunder out of sheer impatience - but then again it's the intensity of his reaction that calls my attention and makes me wonder about that which is stereotyped as NT.

could be anything; he could be black, he could live downtown, could just be a stranger fella...

No black people here either. . . .but yeah you are right, maybe he was just strange and I'm overanalyzing things.

I think I know what you mean...sometimes if I'm chatting with someone I'll say something a little too loudly or whatever while trying to be jovial or something and it comes out weird...kind of a conversation-killer...usually I try to mimic the tone of whoever I'm talking to to make things easier for me, but it doesn't always work...I'm guessing that maybe it wasn't your actual comment but the tone of voice you used? Either way, one of the annoying things about trying to communicate with NT's...

That could be a reason. I let my voice become a tad loud which is something I restrain most of the time. It was a very short statement but for a second it felt like I was rambling on my own.

I'm going w/ how you said it as opposed to what you said. He could've been put off by how nervous you may have seemed. IME NT's are uncanny in terms of detecting your mood if they're attentive.

I have had that happen to me, where I think the conversation is going so well, and I make a remark or a joke, and the conversation grinds to a dead halt. After much analyzing, I will try to figure out if the conversation died a natural death (something I can never detect,) or like you suspected, the person was not familiar with whatever term I used, or didn't expect me to be familiar with it, or maybe they were feeling awkward, and over analyzing themselves! Yeah, it can drive you crazy!

It sounds like the guy was confused and didn't understand what you meant and didn't know how to respond, which confused you so you didn't respond. That resulted in no further communication as both sides were confused.

Maybe an attempt at explaining what you meant by your comment could have helped smooth things over a bit.
Saying in a light tone, "So many people get sucked into the downtown area at this time and can't get out. It is like a black hole, nothing escapes." Maybe add a little grin.

It is kind of an odd statement to make and not one that you would expect to come up in a typical conversation with a stranger, but I liked the comment and found it a unique descriptor of the current event.

i hate when that happens...and it happens to me alot. I love the people who will rush away from me mid-conversation...wha'd I say?
I try to remain sane, reasonable, and decent...but my standards of what that is must be different, and having no real perception of the point of view of the person i am talking to...it is way easy to make faux pas without even trying...

I think there was nothing wrong with the black hole comment...whether interpreted as the space black hole or the Calcutta black hole....I think it was a clever analogy and most people would not have gotten uptight about it. Perhaps the cab driver experiences rapid mood swings...and it had nothing to do directly with your comment..

The other night I went to a party, and there was a gent there who said he had just gotten back from Puerto Vallarta (an oceanic resort town in Mexico)....I had been there years ago and had a less-than satisfactory experience...having little money in this expensive city...with a wild-and-crazy friend who was quite squanderish....Anywhoo...um...I joked that we had the nickname for the place....Pinche Vallarta....eeek....awful faux pas.....as he loves the fancy resorts and goes there every year with his children and is all about it. Luckily he was a polite man, and seemed at least somewhat forgiving and i tried to recover myself from the dumb comment by explaining that I had been there years ago, when it was not so fancy..and we were kinda ripped off...which could happen to any tourist anywhere in Mexico.

..And don't get me started on Cab Drivers...some of them are friendly and decent..or seem to be on the surface.....some of them are downright scary, and I am scared to be in the car with them...

I have very funny recollections of strange cab drivers; usually people who rant.

Nothing so far beat a rather lengthy ride with some preacher guy in like 1999.
The guy started by trying to get me into smalltalking with him. Asked me if I liked "rock" music and warned me that it was all ok with him but that there were limits. I think he started by asking me if I was American because I had spiky hair and shades. 15 minutes later he was rambling about how God most likely placed me in his car for a purpose (to listen to him) and I was wondering if I should just get off-at-the-first-chance-and-while-I-could. At about that time he began warning me about the dangers of homosexuality (I evidently looked strange to him so he warned me just in case) but was soooo worked up his grammar was starting to fall apart and actually said something like "It's in the Bible! . . .the man does it with the man. . . and comes THE WHALE and EATS HIM!! !"

Then not long ago there was one who just talked and talked about himself and how he dealt with life and stuff - really loud voice - wildly munching some morning pastry thing he had on the seat next to him - even offered me some - worked up from the start - I was afraid he'd be violent as he was a rather large brawny guy.
At some point. . .
Him: I'm like the japaneseeeee! y' know?
Me: Ah. . .
Him: I'm like the japanese.
Me: Full throttle, right? (hard to translate)
Him: No. When I have 30 bucks left. . . When I have only 30 bucks left. . . I GO EAT MYSELF A STEAK WITH MASHED POTATOES! *turning around, elbow over seat, gazes at me frantically* KAMIKAZE!

For some reason I have a knack for getting along well with some of these guys; for playing along by asking the occasional question and by contributing with things that are true (I refuse to lie) but that would not necessarily offend them, letting them do the talking. . .
Other recollections are not as cheerful.

I wish I had this knack with everyone.

_________

Sometimes I get a tad uptight when I'm making a statement and I let my gaze wander up and to the side in a slow, intense manner. My body language becomes a bit creepy for those seconds I'm trying to make sense of something as I talk. Maybe he noticed a bit of that; not sure how much.