lots of acquaintances, nobody to talk to

Post Reply New Topic

i just went to an engineering event today at a pub. i sat at the table, ordered my food, my two pints, ate. everyone around me was talking and every once in a while i'd add a little one liner or something. i know all these people, i've seen them around, they know my name, i know theirs, but i realized that although people would laugh at my jokes and stuff, nobody was actually talking to me. i talked with this one girl, Haley (bloody gorgeous), for maybe 30sec but other than that nothing was directed at me for the whole night. I think i do pretty well in social situations, i don't come off as weird or anything, just quiet, but it's kind of annoying when everyone's conversing except for you.

I'm not complaining, it's just that people don't seem to think i've got a problem socializing because i don't seem weird. Everyone in my family tells me i'm fine and yet i haven't made any friends in university, just a load of acquaintances. If i'm so fine, why can't i talk about anything that isn't interesting to me? if i'm so fine, why do i feel as though nobody notices whether i'm there or not in most social situations. I think the reason i get by is because i've learned what not to do and i can come up with witty remarks, but i haven't learned enough to do anything more than blend in.

That's hard.

I am alot the the same way.

That sucks. I've spent the entire weekend at social gatherings, but most of the time I was looking at birds or snooping around in clover fields (I freaking love clover). I got a lot of weird looks.

I guess it was better than spending the weekend alone.

I'm pretty similar, it takes time to find the right people to have real conversations with. I still have only a handful of people who I have good conversations with.

It's really hard to make conversation in large groups of people, you're definately not alone in that.
And it's true that when you're in university, you're kind of floating in a small universe--surrounded by all sorts of people who are full of different ambition, going different directions, and there are so many options... it's dizzying.
But once you start your career, things should get better. You'll see more of the same people more often, and it'll be easier to talk to them, especially since you're interested in the same things. Just hang in there!

same with me.

well i've found it easier in engineering than i would in other faculties because most of the people around me are at least a bit weird, but that's only helped me to a point. i actually find groups less stressful because i don't need to add something to keep the conversation going, but it is harder to have an actual conversation.

I know how frustrating that is.

I really noticed this today at uni. It was the first day back after the Easter break, reading week etc and everyone was catching up and there was a general 'buzz' about the place. Although I spoke to a few people briefly it was clear they had better things to do and I felt completely excluded. I'm sick of feeling like this and I hate AS at times. The thing that really makes me sad is the way they do this now after I've helped a lot of them out with work etc previously and now they don't want to know me. Its the old feleing of being in a room full of people and still feeling like the loneliest person in the world.

I can empathise totally with this, Im often at work surrounded by my dozen or so co-workers and I feel like im just a shadow that they can't see.

I can relate to most of these situations. I also have more acquiantances than friends. I tend to be quiet in most social situations. I sometimes have difficulty getting into conversations. Sometimes it's also hard to find things to say in conversations, topics to present and to relate to the conversation going on.

Currently only thing I gots to talk to is WP.