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Jamesy
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22 Nov 2010, 5:51 pm

I have been noticing throughout the last 2-3 years i have been gradualy drifting apart from my friends. they do not ring me up or act that friendly to me when i do hang out with them.

I am on the autistic spectrum but i need some input from personal experience about what type of behaviour i might be showing that is pissing off my NT friends.

It would just help because maybe if I am doing anything that might be seen as rude i can correct my behvaiour so I will a stronger connection with my friends like I did in the past.

It could be a lack of desire to be form social relationships which could be causing an issue?



kinftw
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22 Nov 2010, 6:08 pm

I've gone through the same thing, and I have yet to figure out why it happens.



Jamesy
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22 Nov 2010, 6:42 pm

Could it be a lack of desire or enthusiam to be social or join in on conversations which fustrates NT's?



RainingRoses
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22 Nov 2010, 7:50 pm

I've lost lots of friends due to my wild overestimations of how much I was putting into the friendships. For example, while I thought I was making heroic efforts to be a good friend, friends saw me as having practically no interest in them. For one thing, I have a very bad sense of time passing. I might think that we've spoken a couple of times this week, when in reality it's been months since we last spoke. Are you *sure* you're making an appropriate effort to stay connected?


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Jamesy
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22 Nov 2010, 7:56 pm

I suffere from social anxiety and avoidant issues so sometimes i will go for 2 or even 3 weeks without seeing my friends. if i feel worried about the amount of time passed i will immediatly ring my friends to get back into contact.

usually i only ring one friend (who is my closest) when initiating contact.

if my friends are acting a bit cold or not including me in conversations i start to get a bit moody etc.....



Avengilante
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22 Nov 2010, 8:17 pm

People develop divergent interests, become engrossed in jobs or relationships that take up more of their time, all sorts of things happen to cause friends to move in different directions. Don't take it personally. I've rarely known a friendship - as in close, spending hours every week hanging out together, sharing intense personal interests, etc - to last more than about five years before other things in life intervene to put us on different paths. That doesn't mean I don't like them anymore, or vice versa, I just don't see or talk to them as much. People I used to hang out with every day ten years ago, I only hear from once or twice year now. Some of them I thought would be my closest buddies for life I never hear from at all anymore. People aren't possessions that you keep forever, and you aren't necessarily doing anything wrong. It may just be time to put yourself in places where you can meet new friends with shared interests.


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Jamesy
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22 Nov 2010, 8:26 pm

And yes, I think making new friends is better than just franticly trying to make an effort with my current friends. Unfourtantly I think sitting around praying that things will return back to the way they were 3 years ago is just wishful thinking and waste of my time and theres.

My friends going into full time work as well is another factor and us leaving college and kind of going in our seperate paths could be a reason as well.