My depression screws up my friendships

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I'll have a great relationship, but mess it up when I'm really depressed and complain about what a f***ing b**** I am to my friends, who I depress in the process
I'm waiting for therapy, but I don't know how much longer I can wait

I think I can relate somewhat to that.

I'm watching for your pm's and when I can I'll keep writing back to you ebec.

I not sure it was the depression that lost most of my friends, I feel it was the lack of totally being able to understand myself... thats beginning to change

But the best advice I have ever had, is surround yourself with like minded people...

I will never be one of the flock and much happier since stop trying to be...

My friend is also depressed... a lot. I get about 20 emails a day from him and I do my best to calm him down and make sure he doesn't do anything stupid. He is also an Aspie so I can relate to much of what he talks about, nothing of which is stupid enough to screw up our friendship. I agree with asplanet; surround yourself with like-minded people. If you ever feel like venting you can always message me. I don't mind. Just please don't keep your depression locked up. I know from experience that that can lead to some pretty nasty consequences. I wish you the best.

i completly relate to what you're talking about. i have lost more friends because of my depression. but i don't think it's just the depression alone that did it for me. i have other issues that contribute to it that i didn't realize. one of the most recent ones was when i became suicidal. it is amazing how quickly people disappear when they hear that "suicide" word...i thought just the depression was bad for that.

but it is amazing, you really do find out who your true friends are, the people who genuinely DO give a damn about you. i can count mine on one hand. thing is, i wouldn't trade those few for ANYTHING in the world, now or ever. it took me a long time to find friends like this...and i'm glad i found out who they were.

i hope you can find some people like that too.

I sure do understand what you mean, and I'm sorry you're dealing with it. Is there a local mental health support group that you can join? There was a time when that helped me tremendously, because the members knew exactly what I was dealing with and some remain friends to this day. Of course, now that I'm married, my husband is wonderful and caring and a great source of support (he's struggled with depression as well), so I don't need it as much. But it was a huge help when I needed it, maybe you could check and see if there's one in your area. If not, you could probably start one fairly easily.

One of the things that drives me crazy about the general public perception of both AS and mental illness is that those of us suffering from such conditions don't mind being lonely, that they don't get lonely, that it doesn't bother them not to have friends or companionship or anything like that. NOTHING could be further from the truth.

It took me decades to figure out that if I complain about depression, people go away. Doesn't matter if it's my mother, good friends or people here. So I go away from everybody when I'm depressed, and come back when I'm better. Or I don't complain to anybody except my psychiatrist about how much pain I'm in.

It sounds like they are not true friends anyway, so who cares if they are gone?

Besides, true friends would love you unconditionally.

Just accept the inevitable and move on, maybe watch a good movie or spend time here with your friends who do care about you here.

My friends have stuck by all through my suicide attempt, but I'm just so scared they're goint to snap and hate me

Your friends sound very supportive. If they've stuck by you through something as difficult as that, I very much doubt that they're going to abandon you.

I feel the same way when I get into my depressive bouts. I feel I'm a terrible person and should cut off all contact with my friends because it would make their lives so much easier. But every time I say things like this, they try their best to talk me out of it. Try to remember that you're seeing yourself in the worst possible light right now and that your friends probably see good qualities in you that you may think are nearly invisible.

I know they're not going to abandon me, but our relationship has changed, and it scares me

what's this 'friends' thing you speak of?

Literally?

I guess I have the 'cannot connect' thing to a certain extreme... and not being able to keep a verbal conversation going don't help either.

c'est la vie

i understand the feeling...it's not very reassuring when you feel like that. i had some who when i mentioned the last attempt just basically stop talking to me altogether (took me a bit to figure it out...) and others have just kinda slowly stopped talking to me.
of course your relationship with your friends has changed - but you are lucky...if they have continued to stand by you at your worst, they are definately friends worth keeping. they have now seen you at your worst, and you have shown them you at your most vulnerable...things are bound to change when this happens. but talk to them about it if you already haven't...don't just ignore it and pretend like it didn't happen. have you talked to them about it since? and what exactly is scaring you about the relationship since the attempt? (if you don't feel comfortable discussing it here, feel free to pm me)

It's more my paranoia then anything...they're not disowning me.
I just find they're laughing a bit too hard at my jokes and not smiling with their eyes as much
They might just be stressed out as well...