Clamming up in large group type situations

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Mutanatia
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17 Sep 2008, 10:08 pm

Do you any of you "clam up" in large group-type situations, yet are able to carry on a conversation one-on-one. I remember that I attended a club with someone, and I clammed up so much that I had to write things for that person to say to the club heads >.<



HistoricHomesDR
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18 Sep 2008, 11:04 pm

I absolutely do the same thing...the larger the group, the quieter I become.



FieryGatoh
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19 Sep 2008, 2:42 am

Thats exactly as I do. It happened to day as a matter of fact. It started off as 4 of us, me and my closest mates, and then one by one more people joined. By the end I was unable to say everything. I wish my NT friends would understand that.

But yeah, in a nutshell I'm exactly the same.



Alycat
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19 Sep 2008, 6:12 am

yes,
I often find that in big situations I get 'overloaded' and cannot talk



Myles17
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19 Sep 2008, 3:18 pm

YES. I hear everything everyone says, and can't take it in all at once. Especially if I am eating with people i can hear them eating their food and it drives me crazy. I usually zone out, and just don't speak. Although if I'm the one talking to the group and they are all quiet i can handle it. :/



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20 Sep 2008, 2:59 am

Yes.

The more people there are (around me, in environment), the less I can follow (keep up with) any particular conversation-let alone judge/discern, figure out, when to particpate.

It's sorta' like juggling: I can manage to toss one or two items back & forth between my hands, but any greater number means everything will end up strewn across the floor.


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PPParabola
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20 Sep 2008, 6:08 am

I think

They can be better than one on one sometimes.
If you become invisible, just observe so you don't have to stress about making small talk, which is the main type of conversation being held. Take in the ambience of the situation rather than what is being said, or it gets overwhelming tracing every conversation.

I think the perfect situation is with three people in a conversation, because it takes the pressure off so you can observe the other two and there is only one conversation to watch.



johnners
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23 Sep 2008, 12:59 pm

Definitely.

The other problem with large groups is being ignored. You try and say something, and the next person to speak just starts talking about something as if you never said anything. Or worse still, getting interrupted. It all goes towards you not wanting to bother, and just clamming up, I suppose.



SierraBell
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23 Sep 2008, 3:55 pm

I have this ability to be a wall flower in a huge group, yet be able to start conversation with one to a max of four people.

I just don't know what to say to them, and the people I am around usually talk about dumb or weird stuff.



ummAR
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25 Sep 2008, 12:48 am

Yes. Whenever I find myself in a large group and some of my good friends are with me, they look at me funny because my face goes blank and I stop interacting and they're like, "What happened to her?" The difference is drastic.

In college, I think I spoke a total of maybe four times a semester and classes were small, even--comparatively--25 at the most. And that was a struggle. I always enjoyed listening and being silent really helped me to focus on absorbing, concentrating and analyzing. Whenever I would struggle to speak, I'd waste the whole class wrapped up in my own anxiety. But the pressure was intense because without grades or exams, class participation was everything. My professors would only find out that I was doing fine in the class from my papers, commenting that they wished I would contribute more in class.

In language classes, however, there were usually only about four people and I could talk (even in another language) for hours if no one interrupted me.



ScottF
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25 Sep 2008, 12:55 am

I hate large group situations. Last year when my grandmother died, my family had a big get together for dinner, I found myself going to the far edge of my aunt and uncles yard( big yard) to get a cigarette every hour or so, just to get away from the crowd.


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