Never let anyone make a monkey out of you....

Post Reply New Topic

I'm a new member here and I posted my introduction in another forum....

Reading through many of the threads here has really struck a chord with me. I thought I'd had it bad during certain periods, but reading about some of the abuse that fellow Aspies have been through makes me see red....

I know sometimes it is too overwhelming to think straight, or sometimes other peoples sh*t flies right under your radar and you don't notice it until the sh*t-bombs have already hit their target and done their damage.... But I really want to try and give some advice as to how to put an end to such bullsh*t, and how to deter its occurrence in the first place.

This is a cold enough world for the so-called NT's, so it will definitely have no mercy on us. If you get messed with a lot, the key is to determine who are your allies and treat everyone else as a potential enemy unless they prove otherwise- at least for when you're first getting started on your path out of victimhood. If you get the slightest inkling or gut feeling that someone is being condescending or downright rude, put up all your defenses immediately and throw back any disrespect they give you tenfold. Even if you don't win, ALWAYS show that you have backbone and will not be a pushover.

Change your body language for starters- this takes TRAINING. I see people all the time with their shoulders hunched forward, head down, shrinking into themselves- Do not do this. Look straight ahead while you walk, push your shoulders back, and walk with your body straight and arms straight, slightly pushed back. Never waver, if you walk past a group of girls or something intimidating, breath slowly and deeply and do not look down. don't move out of the way for others if they don't make an effort to move as well.... Trust me, it works.... Just observe the way in which a soldier would move. Think of yourself as a soldier, a warrior and walk like one of them would.... With pride....

Also, work out.... Spend a good part of your idle time doing pushups, curling a dumbell, do some running.... Instead of using it all on the internet or being inactive.... Building muscle and exercising will naturally boost confidence, testosterone and make you less of a target, as pathetic as it is that some will choose to make you a target based on (percieved) inadequacy.

Now, as I was saying earlier, whatever you do with those who are giving you sh*t- and if you have the SLIGHTEST inkling that a monkey is being made out of you- Your intuitions are correct- WHATEVER YOU DO, make sure that you throw something back at them. Talk like you think a soldier might talk.... pretend that YOU are the authority figure and they are being insolent peons. Never laugh meekly, this is not some pathetic slapstick comedy where you are the wacky goof that is the butt of all the jokes, do not ever use self-deprecation, confront these people. Everything from outwitting them to intimidating them to flat-out striking them, do what you have to do to never be a doormat- and you know what? 95% + of people turn into snivelling cowards once they realize that their would-be prey bites back twice as hard as they can.

I guess that the key in life is not to try to be the perfect person, but to use your strong points to their ultimate potential, while downplaying the setbacks caused by your weaknesses. People have gifts and they have setbacks and Aspies are no different- don't ever let anybody make you feel like you're a freak. It's a long and hard road to building and maintaining the maxed-out version of yourself, but where you can start is by expelling the soul-suckers from your life. They will drain you of the confidence that is necessary to build yourself a happy existance. Once you stop them, and deter any future ones from sucking their parasitic selves onto your ass, you're already well on your way out of the sh*t-swamp....

I agree to an extent. You definitely don't want to be a push-over, but also you don't want to look like a mean as*hole.

I've been weightlifting for a long time, so I look strong. It definitely helps a lot.

But, I always wanted to have a prehensile tale.
Now your telling me I can't have one!
Huh, that's not very nice!
Guess I will have to stay a greater ape.

Very well said, M_M.

Sometimes we Aspies do have to assert ourselves in a way to let them know we aren't anybody's doormats. That onus is on each and every of ourselves.

That being said, nobody sh!ts on me and gets away with it

DUde, you're awesome. Best article EVER! I really think others should listen to this. Its so true that you're going to be the victim if you think like the victim because people will target you.

I'll put that advice into practice.

You really over-exaggerated the terrible-ness of the world we're living in. I just assume everyone is also trying to exist and not die, but never see people as potential enemies. That's an extremely paranoid and pessimistic view on life. I do agree that working out well make lots of people look less like a good victim, but there's also people that look no different after years of working out. What should they do? The fact is, some people well always make good victims. But viewing yourself as a victim just makes you an easier one. Learn how to roll with the punches, and there's a chance they'll go away. But view people as equals and don't brand every stranger as a potential enemy, ack! And I see nothing wrong with becoming a doormat, some people are wired in a way that being a doormat doesn't bug them. You're generalizing. I'm a bit of a doormat, and I couldn't care either way. I could go on, but I happen to agree with some of those things. I just felt like playing devil's advocate.