Particularly Overbearing Religious Friend

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Umm...there's the friend I know from a site online. He seems to be...well, overbearing with his religous views. But I like him just the same (as a person). I was wondering...is there anyway to let him know that I don't subscribe to his beliefs and get him to stop having this debate over God with him? It seems like every opportunity he gets, he brings it up. I tried to tell him nicely that I don't want to talk about it (I'm more of a Taoist myself), but he doesn't quite seem to understand that it is disturbing to me that the fact that what he thinks he believes in is going get him to Heaven, while my belief will not.

First of all I'm a Christian, but I find myself having the same experiences as you with some other Christians. I share the experience of finding it disturbing at times. There are many people at my church who are religious fanatics - they are overbearing. I'm on the Internet right now when normally I should be at church, these people are part of the reason why I find church difficult lately and sometimes don't bother going. But I just wanted to say that being fanatic or overbearing is not necessarily the way to be a Christian and isn't necessarily what a Christian should be. Many Christians are not fanatics in this way and don't 'push it'.

The term for this is "holier than thou",and I had always assumed it was due to their euphoric level of belief.However the more i understand what it means to be aspie,the more I realize that in some instances it might simply be another way for an NT to try and put someone else down...Which is ironic to say the least.

Anyone who's rigid and aggressive about their beliefs is a malignant tumor in my book, and this includes both Christians and atheists. I think it's more important that you're a good person, because there's plenty of religious people who are complete as*holes and hypocrites too. One of my former college professors, also a Catholic priest, told his students that the good deeds that you do are what you will be more heavily judged by, not how strictly you follow rules or interpret the Bible. For the most part, I subscribe to that belief.

But in, you guys' opinion, does the fact that I believe in the Tao (more than anything else really) mean that I'm going to hell?

That's an unimaginably loaded question... I don't personally believe that good people should "burn in hell for eternity" just because they don't believe in God, the whole idea just seems completely unfair and stupid to me, but in saying that, I contradict my own religion. Not that the majority of Christians' beliefs completely fits in their own denomination anyway, but it's still something painful to confront.

The best answer I can muster for you is, if it's something you're truly worried about, have someone pray for your soul to be saved. Heck, if this friend of yours is worried about you and not just being an ignorant jerk, ask him to do it and he probably will.

Again, this is the sort of attitude I can relate to from people at church. They'd certainly say, "you are whatever religion, other than Christian, therefore you are going to hell".

Isn't that black and white thinking?

I too have started to think, as I understand myself more as an Aspie, that it's just another form of bullying.

slowmutant, Taoism is an ethical religion, it does not attach importance to a belief in an all conquering Diety. It's more about ways of living and shares affinity with Budhism. But I am no expert, and I will leave it to our Taoist friend to explain.

About overbearing religious friends, I'll make a confession. I was once an overbearing religious type, but even then I had lingering doubts and it burst my mind at the end. I couldn't keep such a lifestyle of being in the know, suppose I'm more a perpetual doubting Thomas.

From experience, the overbearing religious type has everything worked out, and that gives comfort and sense of their social position, they know where they are and how they relate to the world. Often, and correct me if my observation is wrong, it is not about being convinced, rather of explaining everything in terms of a pre-given world view, that explains everything to that person. That is why if you watch Evangelical channels on satellite (no offense to my evanlegical friends, I am not gerenlising about all evangelical here, a lot are solid folk!) they love parading converts, because it might provide comfort that their views are solid, after all even the heathen sees the light!

Maybe it could be that an NT mind is wired on social positions and heirarchy, of patterned and given ways of living. Sometimes in religion we are worshipping ourselves as a community, to leave a community leads to stigma (though this does not discount a theism, I am a firm believer in God).

This sense of selfhood is inherently social, we cannot escape it, that is why the NT, hardwired on this, don't like to doubt? It confuses and shakes their sense of selfhood. In Socrates' Dialogues, Socrates was put to death because he dared to doubt. Anyway, I have posted something related to this all i.e. being accused of being superficial and a poser (over intellectualising for show), which I think is kinda related. It's in this forum.

These are just observations, they are possibilites, so thought I would just jot my ideas down...

Anyone who's rigid and aggressive about their beliefs is a malignant tumor in my book, and this includes both Christians and atheists. I think it's more important that you're a good person, because there's plenty of religious people who are complete as*holes and hypocrites too.

I agree with that observation. Remember people turn their backs on God due to a multitude of reasons. God knows, if we were in their position we would have done the same thing. Only God judges, remember the parable of the samaritan? Somone not from the community of the orthodox, the Pharisees, saved another soul only for the goodness in him. What did the Pharisee do?

Feel free to PM me w/ details and I'll help you come up w/ some Bible verses to shoot at him. If you can't beat 'em ...

I am an atheist and I think there's is nothing wrong with it. I don't have the urge to convince other people atheism is right, that is not my mission and I don't care. I don't go to hell or heaven, because I am convinced there is none and it's invented in Society (by the rulers) to keep people in line and under control. To prevent people standing up for their rights and the freedom to choose their own way of living and create their own believes.
Ancient believes (like indians for instance) were related to nature, with respect for nature, sharing daily and actual life with nature. Religions like christianity, islam etc etc are quite alienated from nature and were used and in my opinion are still being used to rule over people, keep people in control.

Personally I am convinced I just be turned into dust when I am cremated or eaten/composted by the nature around me if burried (in an eco friendly coffine that is ), no after life, no heaven, no hell and no reincarnation. It just doesn't excist for me, so I don't go anywhere unless mates think its a good idea to spread my dust into the sea or so, then I will be spread around . I don't need to be saved and I am quite okay the way I am. Life ends at some age and that is something everybody can agree with I think.

For me there is absolutely nothing between heaven and earth. And I have never seen any actual proof that there is, only people who believe or think that there is and fabricated proof adjusting to there believes to strengthen them.

If you have an overbearing religous friend and you want him/her to stay your friend I would say just be honest.
Be as clear as you can and that you accept his/her way of thinking as long as he/she accepts yours and that discussions and maybe even arguments would lead to knowhere, it is useless. Agree to disagree and tell your friend you like him/her the way he/she is and that religion or other believes doesn't matter to your friendship. If your friend doesn't want that and keep on trying to frustrate your believes and your way of thinking you might ask yourself is that what you want from a friend?

Kitty2, you sound like the type who'd want a Green Funeral. For me, it's either that or cremation. I don't want to be embalmed, pickled, whatever. So bad for the Earth, these loathsome embalming fluids. We Christians are taught that our physical bodies wil be resurrected, made anew after the end of the world. The whole world will be made anew, everything as it was. According to these prophecy teachings, the resurrection body of a person will be immortal and perfect.

But what about people who have slept in the grave for thousands of years? What if there isn't anything for God to resurrect after all that time? No worries. Apparently, the complete disintegration of the physical remant will not and cannot affect one's entrance into the Kingdom. So even if my remains are incinerated in a crematorium, my body will be made anew at the end of the age.

to slowmutant:

And we, Pagans, are taught that Fire leads us to Valhalla, and our bodies should be burnt to release the spirits.

At the same time, Alchemy teaches the students that the Earth gives us life, and all the elements should be returned to the Earth, for the creation of new life... So, the Earth will take all the elements and the body will be dissolved in her. So, there can be no resurrection, but reincarnation. Is this the reason for the Holy Iquisition to burn the Heretics and the Alchemists?

As Pagans believe, they just released their rebel spirits!

I had nothing to do with the Holy Inquisition or the burning of heretics. That was a little before my time.

But it's nice to know we have a few beliefs in common. Fire is, I think, the primary means of Yahweh's revealing of Himself to human eyes. The bush that burned for Moses. The pillar of fire leading the freed Israelites across the desert. Fire is mentioned a few time in the Bible. So are the other elements of Earth, Water, and Wind.

Doh! It's quite simple to me when you are born you have a certain amount of years to live depending on genes, social circumstances, habits, what you do etc and at some moment you just die. End of story, if you are famous or not, if you had a mark/name in history, you are dead.
Personally I like to have some sort of eco composty or dust get stuffy on a bonfire, but that is just because of me, my lifestyle etc. I don't think I will change the world or put an example for anyone else being put in a compostary recycled coffin or have a bonfire and turned to dust.
I must say I am fascinated by 'swamp' bodies who are embalmed and preserved naturally. In the north of the Netherlands they put special drainage to prevent this preservation (what a shame!).
I think you don't fall asleep when you are dead, you are just dead. You are not going to be resurrected in my opinion (the world would be so overly crowded and busy and very stressful especially when you are aspie and don't like social stuff in the first place , joking here, kinda).
There is no kingdom to be resurrect into, unless you created it yourself or belive in it because of some sort religion. And if that is the case for you have a big party! Enjoy it fully, but make sure you have some time on your own too, otherwise it would be hell, aspies eh.....