How do you deal with having to be like NT's?

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While talking to a fellow WP friend we were discussing my behavior and how I should change it and to give you the short version like other Aspies I need to learn to behave like them. Does anyone have any adivce in doing this? I've always thought of I should just be myself but apparently doing that will again result in bad behavior. Any tips from fellow Aspies on dealing with changing my behavior and yet still keeping that since of self?

Well, in my opinion there is no contradiction between "being yourself" and "working on social skills". See, things like proper eye contact, bodylanguage etc are a "skillset". At least that´s what I consider them. If I change my behaviour, I don´t have to change my actual self, too. I mean your behaviour which is considered inappropriate, is it something you do conscious? I don´t think so. It´s not what defines you as an individual. Assuming that would be superficial. Don´t change who you are, change how you act. That´s all!

"I need to learn to behave like them. "

You don´t HAVE to! If yo´re not comfortable about your social skills then yes, you should work on them, but it´s your own decision. And what´s negative about that? Who are "they"? NTs are individuals too, so there´s no point in separating "us" from "them".

"Any tips from fellow Aspies on dealing with changing my behavior and yet still keeping that since of self?"

Okay, after I got my diagnosis (you should search for an expert, too!), I also wasn´t sure which parts of me are "AS", and which are "individuality".
Simple solution: Get a piece of paper, and write down anything you don´t like about your behaviour. Find out what you want to change and improve. You won´t write anything down that defines you as a human being I think...so separate behaviour from identity. If you want to become more social, it´s not a bad thing to change your behaviour. But if you only do this because others say, then you´ll lose yourself to some extend. But becoming more social is not denial of your self, as long as you consciously understand which areas need improvement.

And I say it again, you should try to find an expert, because an internet-forum is the wrong place if you seriously want to work on these things. If you are autistic, there are therapies offered if you have an actual diagnosis. And that´s a million times better than advice from people on the internet. So I think that if you´re serious about changing your behaviour, you should search for professional help instead of looking for help on this site. It´s nice to communicate about these things, but diagnosis+therapy is much better. So if you´re serious about it: get a doctor!

my 2 cents

I have the very same problem. Everywhere i trun, people always see something wrong with me, and I am always told that I have to belnd in. Why should I have to loose my sense of self to fit in with other people just because they think I am wierd. What is wrong with the world? Why cant they just accept those who are different. I am happy with my sense of self- eventhough i have some "social wierdness" I am a better thniker than most people, am willing to take the time to analyze situtations, and I am have better remote memory. I'm not giving all of that away just to blend in with measly NT's