Being rejected after years of friendship

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I'm posting this here, because I'm interested in opinions and didn't get many in the main board.

It baffles me no end, this Aspie trait of having relationships that don't last long-term.

I mean, if friends like us so much as to be close at the beginning, aren't we the same Aspies later on, say a year or two later? I can't even start to count the amounts of friends who dumped me after a year or two.

Not only do I have to deal with the mysterious rejections and firings in life, where people won't say why for the life of them, but also this weird phenomenon of people suddenly dumping me after a good couple years of friendship. What's there to discover after such a long time about my character that they didn't see in the first year or so?

Most researchers speak of this trait of ours of not being able to hold friendships long-term, but I haven't found any who explain why the relationships do last for some time, and the rejection comes later... The leaving friends keep a certain mystery about it and never give a REAL reason why they suddenly go.

aspies aren't the only ones with this problem. many nts find themselves in similar situations and i can't help but to associate those reasonings with what is happening with aspies. although each person's relationship with their friends is different, there are a few reasons that hold true for many. sometimes people just grow apart. people change and if the relationship doesn't change with them than the balance sways and one person may feel like there is nothing worth holding on for. there could also just be a lack of interest in sustaining a friendship if things don't progress, if there is no more excitement, new things to add to the pot. or maybe the friendship was stronger on one side and never that strong on the other and one person's dependency on the other became a bit too much for the other. i could go one, but if i'm not making any sense then there is no point on continuing. did that answer anything, or was that just a ramble?

But specialists do say that it's an Aspie trait, therefore it does happen to us to a different degree and possibly different reasons than NTs?

Maybe need to make an Aspie friend?

I think this does happen to other people as well, but they have some way of understanding why people leave them and coping with it that we don't have. I, too, have lost friends inexplicably after several years of friendship, and it still hurts a bit to think that I will never know why that was.

I had a friend who ditched me after two years because I had gotten 'too embarassing.'

have to agree with the points alaspi made... this problem is definitely not just an aspie thing (i am NT with slight AS tendencies)
the dynamics of friendships are constantly changing as each individuals has different experiences and values are constantly being questioned and changed and interests change... relationships are not static... sometimes you grow together, sometimes you grow apart but accept your differences and remain friends, and sometimes there is just nothing there to hold onto anymore

from my understanding and experience i think the problem aspies face may be their inability to handle change or dislike of it... there needs to be a degree of flexibility and compromise between both parties in order to keep any sort of relationship going... i have found with my own friendship with an aspie that i constantly feel like i have to accommodate him but i doubt he could ever do the same for me... this can probably get trying after a few years if you feel like the other person isn't making as much of an effort... i get that it is much harder for aspies to make the effort but for the NT the relationship just starts to feel unbalanced and who wants a friendship where you feel unappreciated..? people (NT and AS) seem to forget that relationships take effort and we all need to learn to not be so scared to communicate our feelings and what we want from our relationships

Nah, everyones got this problem , in fact i still have a bunch of friends i known for years. Of course i have had this problem though.