Has anyone else ever ended up 'using' someone?

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No, not in love. I mean, literally, using people.

It's a bad habit. You see, I'll ask someone for a favor... after I tantrum or do something totally stupid to them that I don't realize. I don't like using them. Matter of fact, one of the staff at the institution (yeah, I've stopped calling it a group home) where I live actually let an incedent from my pre-institution past loose and made me pretty p---ed off, where 'Oh, Kiyoko* is used to getting everything she wants because she intimidates her mother into doing it for her!'
*to replace my real name
I may be big and my mother may be a little toothpick (no offense), but I didn't appreciate that.

Also, why are people two-faced? I don't understand why someone would want to be kind one minute then somehow p--- me off the next.

When children do this, we assume it's because they don't know any better. When adults do this, it's because they're manipulative and possibly sociopathic. But some children are master manipulators as well. Not everything a child does is inherently innocent ...

Sometimes I've surprised myself with how, without even thinking about it, I get to trying to play head games with people I know, trying to move them in the direction of doing what I want... not through intimidation or mistreatment, but more subtly. I've been called on it a couple of times, and felt rather bad about doing it, but then the next time rolls around and I'm back to trying to direct things as I want them to go again. Not a good habit. Probably picked up from having to deal with my parents in that way in order to not get yelled at for being stubborn or selfish by my parents.

...Not sure if that's the same sort of thing you were talking about. I don't use people for money or anything - in fact it's usually me getting used in that sort of way.

And I know what you mean about two-faced people. It bugs me. Why can't people be consistent?!

Hmm, can you explain more about what you're talking about? I could use some training in asking for favors ...

If you have diagnoses in addition to AS, this could come more from those. People I've known with things like BPD are really good at getting the most out of a support system. My little brother is pure AS, as far as I know, and he does what it sounds like BokeKaeru talks about.

That said, the staffer was out of line - she said that in public?? This is something that would have been more appropriate to sit down with you about, maybe with a supervisor. You've identified a pattern, and you likely have ideas about how to make progress.

My experience is most people use people to an extent. Not all do it cynically, it is a question of if the other person is getting something out of it at some point. Many people will take what is given to them. So if you are not getting anything out of giving something you should hold back a little.

A simple example is a business the offers free food and drink as a promotion. The food and drink is a success the punters ignore the promotion. The punters aren't in the wrong. They were offered free food and drink.