Nervous too IM people?

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Is anyone else painfully shy both online and offline? I just have trouble making the first IM, there are so many people I could talk to but wouldn't know what to say, it sucks.

The weird thing is that I used to be far more social online than I was offline. Now it's the other way around. I can never think of anything to say to my online buddies and I find it even more difficult to forge new friendships.

I'm also far pickier when it comes to assessing potential friends. I tend to look for shared common interests and tastes along with compatible temperaments and outlooks.

I also can't help feeling like one of the most boring people on the planet. Why would anyone want to be my friend?

it's hard to start a conversation, everywhere, at least for me, not only on IM, but on IM, continuing a conversation is much easier, it does not have those pesky variables such as, eye contact, body language, gestures, voice tone and volume, etc, etc. IM makes it all literal

I think I'm a couple of years too old to be comfortable with online socialising. I have no idea how people go about it. It's not shyness, I'm just stumped by it.

Sometimes. I'll usually add a person. I might hesitate to actually take the next step and IM them unless I was specifically invited to. It all depends on how good of an impression it seems I have to make on them in order for them to like me.

im not. feel free to add me on myspace too!

Yeah, me too. All you kids and your crazy electric friends.

I do message people from time to time but only usually with their consent, it feels weird otherwise.

As much as I stumble with socialising in 'meatspace' I still refuse to accept that the future of humanity is tapping away at keyboards 24/7 and never actually meeting another living soul. Even if I struggle with communicating it is still nice to know there is another living breathing sack of organs in the room on the rare occasions when I do actually think of the right thing to say at the appropriate time...

Yes I have trouble figuring out the right pretext for IMing someone, here or in other platforms. There are people I would most likely like to chat with from time to time but I don't know what the proper etiquette is for that.

There is this friend I have known in WoW for several years that has started trying to chat outside of the game and I have trouble figuring out exactly how often I am supposed to initiate conversation or really what to talk about, neither one of us really wants to talk about WoW too much outside of WoW. And I want to keep the many aspects of my RL loserness a secret from people I know in WoW.

I'm terrified of IMing people first. I always make it a point to tell people that, too. They don't seem to believe me sometimes, but those that actually listen and make a move, I'm more than happy to converse with. After about three months of talking to one of my closest friends every day, I was able to start messaging her first. That was about two years ago. So, if I can maintain steady contact with someone, then I can build up the nerve to speak first. Same goes for phone calls, though I still hesitate from time to time on calling my best friend of nine years.

I'll add that if anyone wants to IM for what ever reason feel free. Is that pretext enough?

have a problem starting an IM. sometimes will have trouble in the middle of an IM trying to figure out what to say or understanding what someone else said. Actually come to think of it that also happens sometimes when trying to reply on message boards and emails.

At some point, I think I forgot how to initiate a conversation, especially online. There are people I find interesting and think I might get along with, but always stop myself because I'm afraid they'll think I'm creepy or boring. It doesn't help that I tend to get along with women better than men, but I think most women have gotten so used to (and disgusted with) random IM's from creepy guys that they mostly stick to people they already know. On the rare occasions I do approach someone, I don't really know what to say, so I babble a lot and usually get one word replies back until I give up and they just stop saying anything.

Offline is a little better, but not much. An acquaintance of mine recently came down for a local event and we hung out. It was good, while we were all drinking, but later that evening, she seemed kind of bored and disinterested with talking to me. I kept trying, but her responses were usually something like "yeah." or "wow." and nothing else. I wound up sitting there kind of talking to nobody and drinking a beer. She still texts me semi-regularly, but online or the one time I tried talking on the phone, she barely talks.

Last edited by irikarah on 28 Aug 2008, 7:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I used to be in the day but now i've spoke to a few people it's easier.

Yes. Several people start with me daily but I seldom start one of my own.

I'm in the same boat. I would people to message me, as long as it's not x-rated

yeah there are a lot of perv's out there
or just ass holes who wanna screw with ya

I PM and IM people lots
I am sociable online (and somewhat off line lol)