I accidentally insulted a co-worker's hair once. She flew into a rage and started a campaign against me. I ended up getting fired from that job, based on the ravings of a single lunatic. I bet she could have passed a lie detector test.
Well, that’s a bit of an oversimplification.
Janet changed her hair every day. Big, elaborate hair-do. She changed the color at least once a week. She wore fancy, sparkly clothes. She was over 40, short and chunky. And she was never much to look at, even in her prime.
Emotionally, she was my extreme opposite. I am sure that she has never had an independent thought in her life, and probably has never heard of or considered doing anything so un-american as “soul-searching.” All that she has is completely on the surface, and there ain’t no more. And her IQ – at a glance, I’d give her a generous 89.
I used to be hot. I didn’t get it back then, but I realize now that it’s probably why I got away with so much. At first glance, I pass. You need to talk to me for about five minutes to realize that something is “off.” Some people can NOT figure it out by themselves. They need to compare notes and chatter and all that. First they have to vote. THEN they can hate me.
I was oblivious. I don’t normally notice clothes and such things and, when I do, my reaction is, “why bother?” At our age, nobody is looking anyway. I figure, as long as you wash it, cover it and do your job, what’s the difference? I didn’t say this or even think about it at that moment. I was simply oblivious.
After I had been working there for a couple of weeks, sitting right next to Janet, I looked up one day and said, “Oh. You changed your hair.” Then, while still looking in her general direction, dead-pan expression, my mind started to drift. "Why did I notice? This is unusual for me. What is so different?" I accidentally left the dead-air open to interpretation.
When I came-to a few seconds later, I saw that her expression had changed as though I had slapped her in the face.
Whatever. Too late for an apology or an explanation. She would not have understood it and, even if she had, she never would have believed it. How could something so “obvious” be anything but a deliberate insult? I just turned back to my computer and continued working.
She never said what her real problem was. It would have been too embarrassing and petty. But she needed to say something bad about me, so she made stuff up. Kept a notebook about all the horrible things I did. Pure hallucinations.
She was always mad at me about something, but never considered spelling it out, and I didn’t know what to ask. She obviously misread everything I said and did. But what can you say to someone who has based her entire life on the crazy notion that you can read body language?
“Um, Janet? Everything you think you know about everyone in the world is wrong. Just thought I’d mention. No biggie – you’re still ok as a person.”
I understand them better than they understand themselves. I am required to bend over backwards and try to understand all the lunatics around me, recognize all their hidden baggage, and cater to all their unspoken phobias, but they are not expected to even know that I exist. And then, when THEY fail to understand ME, it’s because I am too rigid and lack imagination and empathy…
Now that I think of it, maybe it’s a good thing that Janet couldn’t read me. The truth was worse than she could possibly imagine. (You're old, stupid, shallow, uninteresting, barely adequate at your job, and nobody cares what you wear or do with your hair.) Forget getting me fired. She would have been forced to kill me.
Last edited by Tahitiii on 20 Aug 2008, 12:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.
19 Aug 2008, 11:09 pm
