People disagreeing with you = threatened?

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Mutanatia
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27 Sep 2008, 7:47 pm

I'll take my own example:
My roomy's g/f doesn't really tend to disagree with me in a peaceful way...more like a slightly...forceful way...very opinionated. This makes me feel a little threatened like I can't ever disagree with her.


My two questions are this:
1) Has anyone ever felt this way?
2) How does one deal with this?



pakled
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27 Sep 2008, 9:21 pm

Yup, get this on many occasions. Mainly with the missus...;)

First, agree slightly with what they say, but don't necessarily commit yourself to their viewpoint. Somethings are not worth having a fight over.



Kauf039
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27 Sep 2008, 9:24 pm

Of course. If people disagree with me in the wonderfully close minded or in a forceful even "you are an idiot" tone I get my back up.

Usually I tend to just not talk to these people, if my opinions mean nothing to them, why should theirs mean anything to me?

If it is someone that I have to deal with on a longer basis, I try and just steer conversations into simple fact, false areas. That way if they state I'm wrong, I can look it up.... though it usually doesn't work out that well. (Most people I find that are that pushy either find you as a jerk for going through all that trouble to show that you are wrong, or will ignore the facts that are under their nose.) Then I usually end up going quiet with a lot of smiling and nodding around them until I explode. They tend to be a lot less forceful after that... but I'm not exactly still on their good side.

Sorry I don't have any good suggestions for you. I dislike confrontation... a real debate I luv, real confrontation I avoid like the plague.


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Mutanatia
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27 Sep 2008, 9:40 pm

pakled wrote:
Yup, get this on many occasions. Mainly with the missus...;)

First, agree slightly with what they say, but don't necessarily commit yourself to their viewpoint. Somethings are not worth having a fight over.


I was told I was "wrong" because I don't like the show House...rather, I like CSI: O.o



28 Sep 2008, 1:40 am

It's normal to feel threatened when people don't agree with you. It's happens a lot in politics and religion because they are such strong topics.


But it sounds like your girlfriend has a problem because she doesn't want anyone to disagree with her about anything.

Tell her you have every right to your own opinion and she needs to learn how to respect it.



kitty2
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28 Sep 2008, 4:50 am

It can always happen that someone disagrees with you. I know I can be strongly opinionated and therefore I can might be threatening, but I never have the intention to threaten people.
If it doesn't harm anybody, or if it is not making life difficult I would just agree to disagree and not go into a discussion with that person. Just say I disagree with you and a discussion will not go anywhere between us, so lets just respect each others opinion and agree to disagree.

It doesn't always work, but with me it was with my ex new girlfriend and she doesn't respect my opinion. She tries to ridicule me when we are in the same crowd of people (friends) even warn other people for my opinion and what I might do. She makes nasty remarks so just I can hear it too but in a way I cannot reply to it directly. To be more precise I am in favor of sterilizing dogs and she is not (I am not going into this discussion here, it's just an example). I decided to agree to disagree, but she several times made remarks like 'beware of her if she is offering to dog sit your dog, because she will probably chop off the balls'. And she is just joking then....
I hate her. :evil: :evil: And not because she is my ex girlfriend, my ex had a role in it too. I don't blame her. It is really s**t but these things happen. She used me, used my trust in her, I believed in her insecurity, she made promises... But as soon as she was secure enough, she skrewed me over. Banned me from a bicycle workshop (something I am quite interested in to get involved in and she knows this), demanded things, make fun of me and my opinions.
At the moment I just avoid her, because she is not worth wasting my energy on it and I have to avoid stress too (triggers black outs).

Basically agree to disagree only works I think if you respect each others differences and opinions.
If this is not the case, I don't know really. I am struggling with it myself. I don't know what is wise.



Saffy
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28 Sep 2008, 5:29 am

I never have this problem .. I'm always right .. just ask my husband :D



Mosse
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30 Sep 2008, 5:57 pm

1. I've never got threatened when someone disagreed with me.

2. :hmph: Stop worrying about it.