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Shivani
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13 Sep 2008, 8:37 am

I have been away from my workplace for several months due to a broken leg.
I have been back now for over a month, and I have a very distinct feeling that no-one likes me.
Perhaps it is me, because the morale of the place is very low, so perhaps that is why people are being unfriendly and unkind.
Not that anyone was overly friendly before, but now I feel like they are all talking about me when I am not there.
It feels like they all feel I was lazy having time off for my broken leg, and that I don't want to work, but I do.
An example of this is when I went up to a colleague the other night to ask her something and she said:
"WHAT DO YOU WANT? WHY ARE YOU LOOKING FOR ME?"
I asked her why she was yelling at me and she just repeated "WHAT DO YOU WANT?"
I feel very low when I go to work now, and I just want to leave.
Am I being paranoid?


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Mudboy
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13 Sep 2008, 9:51 am

Maybe something happened while you were off. During a break you should ask someone why they are so grouchy. What is the worst that will happen? More of the same?


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Brandon-J
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13 Sep 2008, 12:41 pm

I think you're just paranoid over the situation I would try my best not to think about it or get stressed out about it. Don't be afraid of other people or what they say. If somebody disrespects you try your best to make them know they was wrong if they still disrespect you then f**k them. Im sure you try your best to be friendly and if thats not good enough then tell them to DO something about it and say hi to the middle finger.



marieclaire
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13 Sep 2008, 2:26 pm

I suggest you go to work keep your head down, focus on your work and brave it out for as long as you can handle it.

don't respond to any nastiness or aggressive words, hopefully they will soon get bored of their gossip, and become a bit nicer.

Good luck. Unfortunately people aren't always nice - something we have to learn to live with.

If things don't improve soon - you will have ask them if there is a problem / or take the problem to one of the bosses.



sinsboldly
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13 Sep 2008, 3:22 pm

Shivani wrote:
An example of this is when I went up to a colleague the other night to ask her something and she said:
"WHAT DO YOU WANT? WHY ARE YOU LOOKING FOR ME?"


did you tell her what you wanted?

Merle


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Fnord
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13 Sep 2008, 4:18 pm

Update your resumé, buddy. You're in a bad situation.

Likely, they are jealous of the fact that you got extended time off without losing your job, or they feel that someone else could have been given your job instead of you coming back.

Unless Management takes control of the situation, you are likely to become the target of a concerted group effort to make you look bad and get you fired.

Paranoia? Avoid the others. Document everything. Stay alert. Trust no one. Keep your resumé handy.



Shivani
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13 Sep 2008, 7:21 pm

sinsboldly wrote:
Shivani wrote:
An example of this is when I went up to a colleague the other night to ask her something and she said:
"WHAT DO YOU WANT? WHY ARE YOU LOOKING FOR ME?"


did you tell her what you wanted?

Merle


Yes, I did when she gave me the chance.
I do speak rather quietly, which I guess can be annoying, but I try my best not to upset anyone. :roll:


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Shivani
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13 Sep 2008, 7:33 pm

Fnord wrote:
Update your resumé, buddy. You're in a bad situation.

Likely, they are jealous of the fact that you got extended time off without losing your job, or they feel that someone else could have been given your job instead of you coming back.

Unless Management takes control of the situation, you are likely to become the target of a concerted group effort to make you look bad and get you fired.

Paranoia? Avoid the others. Document everything. Stay alert. Trust no one. Keep your resumé handy.


Thanks for the understanding, I do feel targeted actually, very much so.
Sometimes it feels just like it did when I was bullied at school, and that usually ended up very badly.
Going to the management is not something I feel comfortable with, so I guess it is a case of head down and braving it out, or leaving. :(


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Tahitiii
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24 Sep 2008, 12:28 pm

Shivani wrote:
Does everyone really hate me at work? ...I feel very low when I go to work now, and I just want to leave. Am I being paranoid?
You are probably not being paranoid.
I've seen that movie too many times. It's called "scape goating." Don't bother looking or asking for a reason. They don't know what the problem is, they are looking for an explanation, and you are it. Start looking for another job today. It's all downhill from here. If you wait long enough, it sometimes snowballs into a witch hunt.



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30 Sep 2008, 6:52 am

I was away on sick leave for a month, and unrelated to that I was also kinda demoted to a lower position at work. I felt very cut off by my colleagues for a few weeks after that, so I kept to myself and continued being corteous to them. I think they're warming up to me again now.


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30 Sep 2008, 7:00 am

Shivani wrote:
I went up to a colleague the other night to ask her something and she said:
"WHAT DO YOU WANT? WHY ARE YOU LOOKING FOR ME?"

That's a bit odd :?


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Anicho
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01 Oct 2008, 8:34 am

Just tell me one thing:
What did you do to make them hate you?



Kelsi
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02 Oct 2008, 6:45 am

Fnord wrote:
Update your resumé, buddy. You're in a bad situation.

Likely, they are jealous of the fact that you got extended time off without losing your job, or they feel that someone else could have been given your job instead of you coming back.

Unless Management takes control of the situation, you are likely to become the target of a concerted group effort to make you look bad and get you fired.

Paranoia? Avoid the others. Document everything. Stay alert. Trust no one. Keep your resumé handy.


I suspect you have hit the nail on the head.

Shivani, it sounds like someone has been doing a 'character assassination job' on you behind your back. You are not being paranoid - you are being hypervigilant because your instincts tell you that you are being targetted.

Anicho, Shivani most likely did absolutely nothing.



Tahitiii
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02 Oct 2008, 9:41 am

Being an innocent bystander in a witch hunt can be extremely educational, if you chose to stay awake and pay attention. You get to see and hear the background activities, the whispering, the set-up. Unfortunately, most people are not emotionally able to do this and get swept away by the majority opinion. “Where there’s smoke, there’s fire” is an excuse to stay out of it or join the party.

The ring leaders run around, spreading stories. What they are actually doing is collecting secret votes. The question is not “do you agree that he has committed a crime?” but “will anyone defend him?” If the answer is “NO,” they have an easy target and a perfect candidate. Even if you do your job perfectly and have never done anything to offend anyone, your failure-to-bond will eventually lead to a witch hunt.

On the playground, among younger kids, they don’t need an excuse at all. They just hit each other because it s fun. When they get a little older, the “I hit him because he was ugly” excuse makes sense and is good enough. As they get older, the excuses get more sophisticated, but the basic, primal motive is the same. Among mature, educated adults, they need to play “gotcha” and find a real crime, no matter how trivial. A typo. Arriving five minutes late, one time. Once they have a genuine crime, it’s party time and the whole thing starts to snowball.

Standard procedure when someone is accused of a real crime:

Someone breaks into a house and steals, let’s say, some expensive jewelry. The cops zero in on a likely suspect, get a search warrant, and find the jewels in the guy’s glove compartment. So far, so good. A real crime, tangible evidence, a likely suspect.

They haul him down to the station, book him and, what the hell, toss in several other unsolved crimes of a similar nature. Half of them are known to be humanly impossible because the suspect was in jail in Texas at the time of the crime. As for the other half, they have no evidence at all, no reason to suspect. No matter. For the sake of their stats, they only need to accuse someone – they don’t need a conviction to say that these older crimes are “solved.” This makes the department look good.

Then they throw in some trivial crap – Hey, we know that he’s guilty, but just in case he gets off on a technicality, we can at least get him for something. A broken tail light will do.

Then a few of them go a little overboard and start fabricating evidence. A planted glove, perhaps.

Then the media gets ahold of the story and misquotes everyone involved in every way they can imagine. Someone locates the suspect’s ex-wife, who happily provides a list of shortcomings, implying that the presence of warts is proof-positive of guilt. Flash a picture so we understand that he is ugly and can add that to the rap sheet – he deserves jail time for that alone. (I have actually argued with a lawyer over the “crime” of being ugly. A lot of people really believe it's a punishable crime.) And don’t forget to interview the victim’s hysterical grandmother, who’s rantings are actually about someone else, somewhere in the distant past. Who cares if any of it is true or relevant -- gotta spice up that slow news day somehow.


One major difference between this alleged jewel thief and the typical witch hunt at work is that the suspect gets a lawyer and a judge who will try to throw out all the crap before the jury hears it. Ideally, they cut it back down to (a) a real crime, (b) tangible evidence, (c) a likely suspect and (d) a sane, logical connection between them all.

Without due process, the rap sheet will include: pure, flat-out, conscious lies that are commonly known to be false; old misunderstandings that were resolved to the satisfaction of all concerned; items that are trivial or irrelevant (warts); accusations that are unclear but in a tone implies a known conviction of something; nonsense created by the echo chamber (crazy talk that makes no sense at all) and, my personal favorite, turning a virtue into a crime (like when you continue working while others are fooling around). And don't forget the clincher: "Nobody likes him."


Hysterical people with good intentions can do some pretty crazy things. Like the case of the McMartin preschool in Manhattan Beach, CA. (http://www.religioustolerance.org/ra_mcmar.htm)

Without a shred of evidence, they held the accused in jail for five years and literally leveled the building, looking for underground tunnels.

The main accuser in that case, Judy Johnson, continued to make allegations of abuse: “that her 2½ year old son had been injured by an elephant and lion during a school field trip, that her son had been tortured by teachers who put staples in his ears, nipples and tongue, and had put scissors in his eye. There was, of course, no physical evidence of any of this trauma. She was later diagnosed as suffering from acute paranoid-schizophrenia, was hospitalized and died at home of alcohol related liver disease before the trial began. Information of her mental illness was kept from the defense.”

"A mere suspicion of witchcraft justifies the immediate arrest and torture of the suspected person. If the prisoner mutters, looks on the ground, and does not shed any tears, all these are proofs positive of guilt." Jean Bodin, French lawyer, judge and witchhunter, "The Demonomanie," published circa 1580.

All this, for the one basic crime of failure-to-bond.
How dare you not feel honored to kiss my ass?



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03 Oct 2008, 5:14 pm

if your supervisiors don't hate you, dont worry about it

half the people at my job don't like me, it doesnt bother me, i'm paid to move freight from one trailer to another, not make friends.

it'd be nice if they were my friends, but i go there for the $


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