Any tips on how to be 'popular' with people?

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FieryGatoh
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30 Dec 2008, 7:29 am

Out of everyone I know, I have the best record for being disliked. None of my friends are part of the popular group, but a hell of alot more people like them than people like me.I guess I can understand why. My friends are friendly, outgoing, kind, funny, warm kind of people. It is the complete opposite for me. I am a lone wolf, and not the type of person whom you look at and think they look nice, if that makes any sense at all. I have none of the interests that most people at my school have, and I am known as weird and psychotic.

Its always been difficult for me to meet new people and be friendly, but things are much harder now. When you're on the brink of depression its difficult not to allow those dark thoughts and imagery to show. But, last year (okay, this year, but it is nearly 2009 so who cares?!) I was acutally able to talk to someone and make friends with them. It gave me some confidence.

For 2009, I want to acutally be a more likeable person. True, my tarnished reputation doesn't exactly help matters, but I don't really care about that. I just want to let go of the person I was in 2008. I don't want to be the same arguementative, hate filled being that I always was. I'm working on the depression/anger side of things, I've been keeping a journal of my thoughts and feelings and that seems to help, but I need some help as far as the social side of things go.

How can I acutally be more popular with people? I don't want to be part of the popular group (-shudders-) but I at least want to be able to be friendly with people in, say, my class. I don't have much confidence and I'm not really trusting, but I hope that I might be able to find a way to get past that. Somehow.

Any tips?



Aspie_for_the_Lord
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30 Dec 2008, 7:35 am

Aww...

i'll be your friend :D

its not easy, but spend time thinking about other people and doing things to help them, thats how i make friends... and dont worry about any enemies youve made, someone once said : -

i love my enemies, after all, i made them


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ForsakenEagle
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30 Dec 2008, 11:07 am

Aspie_for_the_Lord wrote:
i love my enemies, after all, i made them


:lol:



Fnord
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30 Dec 2008, 11:28 am

Cultivate a reputation for financial generosity, but make sure you get something in return of equal value.


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Psiri
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30 Dec 2008, 12:33 pm

Learn to laugh at yourself. Er... that's all I've got, sorry.


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BellaDonna
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30 Dec 2008, 12:44 pm

You are who you are. It does help to be friendly and a person people like to be around. I have to learn to listen to other people more and be reflective. Rather than just going on about what I think. People never really seem to be interested. Like this girl said to me this year. People don't like to talk about that, like life issues, they just wanna laugh and have fun. I understood that because it was a party except I didnt feel like jumping around and acting shallow. I am not always serious but at that time I was feeling that way. I wanted to have a mature conversation with some one. I was sitting with a group of people that was dumb joking around with each other.

I talked to the most beautiful people that night. Not often you meet people with that inner beauty. Those people that always glow and are radiant. They have that passion and not sexual.

Sometimes you just meet people you connect with straight away.
They are the kind of friends I wish I had much more of. They are the people that always seem happy or calm and even when they are not they are still beautiful. I feel beautiful when I am around beautiful people. Not dumb people that just talk about every one being Angels. It is some people that seem beautiful like an Angel.



MelissaColeman
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30 Dec 2008, 12:58 pm

I think you will do great in 2009. Keep the positive attitude and remember not everyone likes everyone else. You will find a couple good friends and have a great year! Good for you for wanting to make more friends. It takes a very confident person to put themselves out there and you are going to do great!



Tequila
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30 Dec 2008, 12:59 pm

Realise that it's the other people that are the problem, not you. Apart from cleaning yourself up, raising your confidence levels and smiling a lot... can't think of too much else really.



sillyputty
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30 Dec 2008, 1:25 pm

It sounds like you already have a good plan in place. I wish you well.


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physicsteen
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30 Dec 2008, 1:52 pm

Sometimes, many seem to seek out calm, assertive people. Keep a cool head, listen, help when asked, and take verbal attacks with a grain of salt. Try being a companion to others who don't have any; the kids which sit in the hallways or library eating lunch alone. These actions won't only let you get accepted, but you'll also be liked, trusted, and respected.

Try joining clubs and causes of your interests. Most importantly of all, love who you are and who you are becoming. No one can touch you if you have confidence in who you are and where you are going in life.

Allow time for these changes too.

I was hospitalized due to mental distress, and I suffered from depression. However, once I loved who I was, I recovered very quickly. I haven't had depression for three years although I sometimes feel alienated from my peers.