On being socially flexible

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Hi,

Wanted to type on here to see how you lot deal with flexiblity. I find it hard to be socially flexible here is an example. The other day I went round a friends. I had gone round there to do interview stuff but she had had a huge row with her long term partner. I asked if she was ok and she said that there was nothing wrong and that he was annoyed that I was there maybe it was something I had said (later on I found out that he had a full schedule and she had not told him that she was bringing someone round and he had not wanted to be interupted).

Anyway she asked me about interview skills. I knew that she was trying to divert the conversation away from herself.

I later realised that an NT response would have involved the following:

(1) I see that you are upset about something. You do not have to talk about whatever your problem is we can just go for a nice cup of x...

(2) I see you are upset, I have come around at a bad time it seems. I will leave you to sort things out with your other half and come back and see you when things are better.

My response:

I still asked her about interview related things.

Does anyone else have problems with flexibility in social situations if so how do you cope. thanks for reading.

I would not have said either one of those NT responses. I remember when my friend was upset. I actually thought it was about me, but it wasn't. I didn't ask him about it, but kept trying to talk to him, which resulted in me becoming so irritated at him I left. Of course I didn't tell him that.
There have been other times when people have been upset but I don't give them their space. When I was younger I didn't even say anything to cheer them up.
I don't think I'm very socially flexible.