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pinkiepie
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14 Dec 2008, 9:31 pm

:help:

Does anyone have any advice on how to make effective smalltalk? I suck at having a social life, and I want to learn how to have one without being forced to strip myself from my Aspie-ness or whatever you may call it.

Oh yeah, who deals/has dealt with nasalness? That's my main reason for not wanting to talk to people: I don't want my voice to sound like it came out of my nose and me getting self-conscious. I'm taking a breathing exercise, but I don't think that's enough. Are there other techniques that work on that issue?



zghost
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14 Dec 2008, 10:29 pm

I'm not too good at small talk myself, but here's what I've got:
If you're at a party or something, ask them how they know the host/ band/ whatever. it starts a conversation anyway, and hopefully they'll ask a few questions too to keep it going.
Or you can mention a new movie you've seen, book you've read, such as "Have you seen/ read _____ I just saw/ finished it".
If all else fails, just ask them questions about themselves, people usually like to talk about themselves. "Where did you get that _____?" "I love your hair, who does it?" "What's your favorite team?" "Can you recomend a good drink/ place to eat/ store/ whatever?"
Then just act like you care what they say.



pensieve
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15 Dec 2008, 12:23 am

When there's like a huge story on the news e.g. terrorism, tsunamis, war, some celebrity news, etc I find that people get easier to talk to. I was talking to complete strangers about Heath Ledgers unfortunate death.



makuranososhi
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15 Dec 2008, 2:09 am

pinkiepie wrote:
:help:

Does anyone have any advice on how to make effective smalltalk? I suck at having a social life, and I want to learn how to have one without being forced to strip myself from my Aspie-ness or whatever you may call it.

Oh yeah, who deals/has dealt with nasalness? That's my main reason for not wanting to talk to people: I don't want my voice to sound like it came out of my nose and me getting self-conscious. I'm taking a breathing exercise, but I don't think that's enough. Are there other techniques that work on that issue?


Speak with a yawn; will affect the resonant spaces within the head and create a more rounded sound, but overdo it and you'll sound like a cartoon character. I find that question, comment, question is a pattern that works for me as a reference pattern, and helps keep the conversation centered on the other person. Interest in the other person is a big part; it takes practice to get familiar with each persons needs in what they want to talk about, but they can me learned.


M.


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