Social Blunders du Jour...thread

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Today someone introduced themselves to me and proceeded to try and hug me and I had never met them before and the attempt at hugging made me feel very uncomfortable and i rejected the hug, and i can tell it made the lady feel bad....and I feel bad about it, but it was a gut reaction.

Yesterday at the bank, while attempting to activate my debit card, i made the bank guy tremble after he asked me for a drivers liscense instead of my Texas I.D...and I don't drive and don't have a liscense....and he seemed so muddled as if I was the only person he had ever come in contact with in his office who did not have a liscense...and in hammering my point about being a non-driver...I even used the AS-word Which I know I shouldn't have done. Hopefully I will never see the guy again, and um....howyousay....it is not as if they are gonna mess with my bank account because I am on the spectrum..I had been tempted to tell someone at that bank for a while, just because it is so nerve wracking every time I go to the bank...when the whole staff of employees has to shout 'HI! Welcome to Wachovia!" at you in unison...and then those flourescent lights...etc..I am always stressed out, muddled and confused..

I had the opposite happen once. I had developed an on-the-phone rapport with an executive from my company's home office, I thought he was a really cool guy, and I thought he thought I was really cool, too, and when he came down to visit, I was like "I'm so glad to finally meet you" and hugged him.

He never talked to me again.

you must be better looking than me; I banked at Wachovia for 24 years, and barely got a 'hello'

so this guy I know was trying to make a point about some topic on touch and he grabbed my shoulder to make his point
not necessarily realizing that I am not a touch person and then of course I mini-freaked and flinched really hard, which made him flinch since he wasn't expecting it.

This one girl was talking about how she was "black by injection" which got me confused and I asked if she got a tattoo and apparently she had actually had sex.

banks are rather wierd for asperger's types. i always feel 'on trial' there.

just remember that most bank fraud/theft is done by staff, not members of the general public.

they're really bloody nosey at my local too (small town), so you have to fob them off with generalisations, humour and just blank looks.

Both of these situations sound more like cases of dealing with weirdos rather than anything to do with you being an aspie.

First situation: What kind of a nutbag tries to hug someone they've never met? She should expect to get rejected once in a while.

Second situation: How does a person get to be working in a bank and not be able to comprehend that some people don't drive? You didn't even need to offer an excuse for not having a driver's license.

They always do this small talk that makes me feel like I am being interrogated..the whole process of reactivating a new debit card seemed like I was attempting to apply for the bank account all over again..

The wachovias in Houston are all very strange...they will, at both branches I have visited...shout "Hi welcome to Wachovia!" in unison...as if I had never been there before...oh wiat..now at my regular branch, they will address me by my name...AND one of the tellers will inevitably shout "Hi! Welcome to Wachovia!"

eek...

I never get the small talk in banks.
However, once I was walking home and the bank mascot (green dragon) gave me a hug.

You know, I don't really make social blunders because I don't actually socialise with anyone.

Sure, my relatives try to hug me and stuff when I visit them once every few years, but I just push them away; I don't see this as a blunder, nor as rudeness, as people should respect the space of others. I end small talk before it even begins most times, and I don't bother with answering when people ask me how I am; it requires too much effort for me, and I know that they don't care, so it doesn't matter.

When I do get around to talking, as I've been asked something that's worth a reply, it's to the point and blunt (truthful in other words).

I can see it as being a little unnerving for someone, especially if they've got the wrong idea, but really he never talked to you again? That's pretty far.

I believe I come across quite frequently as being insensitive and pushy. There's one guy I know in particular who goes to meetings of one of the societies that I frequent and I've said a few rude things to him and his girlfriend, and though I realised they were rude when I said them I was afraid that apologising would draw unnecessary attention to them since they weren't all that bad. But he certainly tolerates me, even if we may have got off on the wrong foot. I attribute these slip-ups to just sort of blunt honesty on my part, or not being tactful and prudent with the feelings of others. If someone reacts badly enough to my little slips to actively keep away from me I'm not the one who really has a problem.

Same kinda story happened to me. But not exactly same. My husbands friends tend to embrace me and sort of kiss me in their own stupid way (without actually kissing and embracing but sort of immitating it).
Once at a wedding party where were both friends and collegues I had this damn ritual produced with a number of persons (friends mostly). Then (I have to admit I got a bit drunk), there appeared a guy, who was actually his collegue. I instinctively tried to reach him to give him a sort of kiss in the cheeck.... And ... he leaned back, trying to avoid it (I do not know, may be his wife was there or.. whoever..). I felt stupid and still tried to reach him and he stepped back... Ok. In my embarasment I said: "Sorry, I forgot who I am supposed to kiss and whom not." Very stupid situation. Hate this hugging-kissing. I do not know how I let them mess me up into this. I myself deffinitely not feel like hugging or kissing any barely known people.

Last edited by Naturella on 10 Dec 2008, 1:48 am, edited 1 time in total.

I really don't like hugging or kissing strangers too.
It's a very yuppie thing to do. Haha, now I sound like I'm from the sticks. Well, I guess I am.

Forgive me for being an Aspie who pries, but I suppose that's what many Aspies do.

(And pretend I'm a 17 y.o. lanky kid who's high on hormones who skipped up to college years ago and tried too hard to look like a college student, the effects of which aren't easily reversed.)

Why would you have a regular ID?

If I don't get a regular job soon enough, I may apply for a CDL so I'd be more marketable on the job market.

I really upset my wife sometimes with my lack of emotional reciprocity. It hasn't happened lately, and we just found out that I am AS a week ago.

I can't remember what we were having trouble about, but my wife was crying about it. It was some kind of reletionship/marriage trouble. She had begun to cry, and I just watched her, like a lab rat. "Why are you just looking at me like that?! Don't you have anything to say?' she demanded. I was stumped, so I just flat out told her, "No, I'm just watching you. Why are you crying?" It took us a while to get past that. Now, my AS explains that kind of behavior.

On a more outragous note-
My wife and I were in a grocery store many years ago and a mother and young son were in the asile with us. The boy had a child-sized walker, and there was obviously something wrong with his legs. So, I say aloud "Hey, look! A little cripple boy."

Yeah. Very uncomfortable.

I was talking to a friend today and she'd told me about a fire in her building, so to keep up the conversation I said that my upstairs neighbours should hope that I'll never get a fire in my flat because the amount of books I own will have them fried in no-time.

my friend seemed very disturbed by that and said that I shouldn't talk like that

I have no idea what she ment, I was just stating a fact (loads of books + on loads of wooden shelves = biiiiig fire)

That's silly of your friend. Comments like yours above are just the kind of humor I understand and enjoy. Did you mean it to be funny? I hope so.