Advice needed about my "ignorant" mother

Post Reply New Topic

I can't think of a better word to describe her. She just doesn't understand.

My brother was going to have a sleep over, but my mom said he couldn't because she was afraid I was going to have a "fit." (read: meltdown) She thinks that these fits just randomly and spontaneous come and go. She thinks that nothing causes them. There are things that cause them, such as a desire to go to sleep but not being able to because your damn stomach won't stop being hungry. Especially if you feel like going to bed at 12:30, and at 3:0 you're still up and you've eaten, what, 5 bowls of cereal, a banana, two different dinners, etc. That's when I have a "fit."

"Are you going to be able to hold it all in? I don't want you to do it in front of [your brother's friend." She asks. Excuuuuuse me, but that is a very, very, very, very, VERY ignorant statement. Thus, I became the sole reason why my brother can't have friends over for a sleep-over, which is NOT fair to me, especially considering that my brother's friend had to go to church today (the day he would have slept over to--he would have been sleeping over on Sunday). It's comments like these that really, really, REALLY show me that I am not welcome here.

How to I communicate to her what a meltdown actually is, and how sometimes, it's nearly impossible to hold it in, but that I won't take it out on anybody?

I really feel like my mom is borderline voluntarily ignorant of that fact.

I think you have a marvelous opportunity to understand how your actions seem to other people, here. As ignorance means "The condition of being uneducated, unaware, or uninformed." it seems as if your mother does not know what triggers your meltdowns. Have you ever sat down and talked with her about it when you were not being stressed?
Of course, you probably have, but were bottled up with feelings of being defensive and maybe even half thinking 'whats the use. . . ?'

We should always try to treat others as we would like to be treated. A calm quiet discusion can work wonders. And even a smile and a . . .hug. . .would not be out of bounds, after all, she is your only mom.

Merle

oh, and by the way, this might be helpful

Thanks for the advice.

Hmm...can lying on your stomach cause ulcers/an ulcer-like symtpom?

o[ate="Mutanatia"]Thanks for the advice.

Hmm...can lying on your stomach cause ulcers/an ulcer-like symtpom?[/quote]

I don't know. maybe the gastric juices aren't emptying into your intestines but pooling up in your stomach instead? I had that when I was a child and the dr found little bitty ulcers (which is just raw places where the stomach lining was eaten away by the hydrocloric acid pooling up in my stomach while I slept. Back in the day, they thought that dairy foods were necessary to 'soothe' the lining. Now, though, they know dairy only compounds the acids in there and they realize it is a bacteria.
If you have medical insurance, or can find a local clinic that can take payments, it might help to go to a gastro-interologist and get checked out.

Merle

I have been diagnosed with mild acid reflux disease though I don't think I have ulcers, but yeah perhaps you should get that checked out. I know what you mean by the "midnight munchies" because I do the same thing at times. Perhaps it is part of being a night owl where we get hungry at hours that wouldn't be normal for others. I know that when I first wake up I can't eat anything because I don't feel hungry but I will eat just before I go to bed.

Weather