Wanting to be NT

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Lately, I have been thinking I'd be happier as an NT, and have been wishing I was more normal.

Now, I don't hate my AS completely, I'm sure if it wasn't for my AS, I'd probably have a different outlook on life. I think I'd be less moral and less artistically talented as I am now, and as well I wouldn't be able to think in the abstract as much. There are many great famous people who had AS and made great contributions to this world.

Its just that, as great as the advantages of AS can be, NTs have many advantages as well, and I am not just talking about being more easily accepted by each other.

NTs can possess this ability. Its an ability to (if they wish to do so) be able to easily add value to other people's lives, people who they may barely know, or not at all. They can very naturally show friendliness. They physically show it with their body language and facial expressions. They can tell a joke, or make small talk (and I know small talk isn't important, but it tells someone that while you may not know them well, you like them), even when being caught off-guard, to people they don't nessessarily know at all.

I personally think this is a very important thing to possess. I think as human beings, we all need warmth. Warmth from others. From personal experience, I know this is something I wish I could have more often, and I do try very hard to get it. The problem with those who have AS is that this warmth is less easy to get, not only because we have a hard time percieving when someone is trying to give it to us, but also because we really don't know about how to give it. And in life, you only get as much out of it as how much you put in. The same goes for this warmth between people.

I'm not saying I want to be really buddy-buddy with every stranger I see on the street, and that this is all that it would take for me to be happy in my social life. Part of this NT "phenomeon" of small talk and genuine friendliness is that this is how new friendships are forged.

I often feel bad when I see people in the hall that I met last night at a party, or some friends of a friend in the hall, and I don't even know exactly what to do in the moment to say "hi". Not only do I want warmth from others, but I think I'd feel much more "whole" as a person if I could give some warmth to others, and give something for them to feel good about, EVEN if I don't get something in return. Strangers have been genuinely friendly to me before, and you know what? It was the best feeling in the world. It made me feel good.

I'm not complaining about the way I am. I am not looking for pity. I work hard to learn how to be more warm and open, less akward and nervous, so I do take responsibility. But even when doing this, at times it just feels so unnatural, something I will never fully "have".

If tomorrow, a cure for aspergers was announced, I don't think I'd hesitate to much to take it.

ive learned to accept myself and who i am.

I used to think I'd want to be "cured" of AS before I came to WrongPlanet. Since no one had ever told me any different, I thought AS was nothing but a defect. Meeting others with AS made me realize that if I were neurotypical I would be a completely different person, not a fixed person. I don't know if I would be happier or not as a neurotypical, but I know it'd be a bit of a drag for my current personality not to exist. I like occupying a niche.

Definately a healthy perspective. Sadly, I have never been able to do this myself. I'm always trying to improve, perhaps to a fault.

I guess I just feel the benefits of being NT outweigh the benefits of being an Aspie. I too like occupying the niche. I like the idea of people percieving me as a bit of an eccentric, though I'm not sure if they see me as more of an eccentric than quirky anti-social. But, I just feel I could be much happier possessing some of those NT traits.

Who knows, maybe someday in the future genetic engineers will be able to create humans who have the best of both NT and AS traits. Now that would be a world I'd want to live in.

I like who and what I am and where I am in my life. I have never worried what other people think of Me to much. This has helped Me survive this world for I like being different. You need to remember we are all different in our own ways NTs or ASs. That is what makes life so interesting to live life on this world. So live life as You see it not as some other would like You to see it. You do that by just being Yourself in the end.

The thing is, I don't really care too much about how others want me to live. At times I would sincerely like to live slightly differently. I'm not happy just being an aspie. I don't want to offend anyone here by saying that, since I know most people on these boards like to celebrate being different, but I am just speaking from my own personal stance here.

Accepting oneself for who one is and improving are not mutually exclusive.

Just because you are an aspie doesn't mean that you cannot grow in your social skills and whatever else in life you want to grow in. It just means you do it differently, and, perhaps, with some limitations.

I'm the person, so far, who doesn't get the point of the poll.

I guess, if when I was being bullied in high school, someone had told me that it was because I was an aspie, I probably would have wanted to have been an NT. But, my most fruitful use of the knowledge would have been to know why I was different and try to perseverate a little less and acknowledge other people's points of view a little more.

Without any notion that I was different, I had no idea why I was the target of so much abuse.

I chose "Yes! I'm proud of my neurodiversity."
And I am proud of who I am. DAMN proud.

It's true, my brain is not structured the way the majority of peoples' are, and I often miss social cues. But I learn. And given my 'problems' I would not change who I am for anything.

I'm surprised I'm the only one who has picked "Yes! I'm proud of my neurodiversity."...

GA

Thats true that with hard work, you can improve on anything. Well, I've been trying very hard to grow my social skills, and while I've seen some improvement, if often just feels like its never enough. I feel that because of those limitations, I will never be satisfied. As for the purpose of the poll, well, I really just want to find out from this thread how everyone feels about this, and why, in relativity to how I feel.

Sometimes I think "Man I wish I wasn't an aspie" etc etc etc. But then I think "Man if I wasn't an aspie so much good stuff would be missing from my life"

So no

Everyone has limitations of some sort or other. You have to go with your stengths and try to recognize those of others.

I suppose so. I just feel so weak at times. I have great strengths, but many of them aren't nessessary for what I want and need. I feel desperate.

Maybe the solution is to try and accept I can't have everything I want, and to lower my standards for some things in life.

Ugh, you know what? I'm sorry for griefing. I have to stop thinking so negatively. I'm just really upset because some important things in my life (including some social ones, but most of them are actually more work related) lately haven't been really working out the way I wanted them too, and I've been bottling these feelings inside to everyone (edit: I haven't really had anyone to talk to about it), so I'm kinda in the dumps. While I still think it would be good to be an NT, I have to accept my situation and stop dwelling on the negatives. In the long run, I think I'm going to be ok. These were just some major setbacks and I'm a little depressed right now.

I like being an Aspie.

In high school, I wished I could have been neurotypical...but that was long before I discovered how overrated popularity was and how great being an aspie is. The fact that aspies (certainly in my case) are socially defunct and haven't got a lot of friends fits perfectly with my desire to avoid most human contact nowadays. I take all my enjoyment from quiet study and scorning the outside world and all it's pitiful human specimens. Mwhahahahaha! Who wouldn't want to be an aspie? We're better than normal people! Bah I say!

On the other hand...I can't stay in the house all the time. I've got a kind of paranoia about being around new people, crowded places, loud noises, using the phone, saying "no" to solicitors...I'm probably forgetting a few things. It's true any time I'm in one of those situations I wish I had a different, "NT" kind of personality...but I still think the advantage of what I feel is superior brain power still outweighs all the social liabilities. There's a price to be paid for everything I suppose.

-AA