Bonnaroo... big mistake?
oddballdeviant
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: 27 Jan 2009
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 35
Location: Jacksonville, Floriders
Recently i've started making plans to go to Bonnaroo and i'm feeling unsure on whether or not I should buy the tickets and go.
I would be going by myself, the concept of that doesn't bother me but the practice does. Sadly enough, I don't have any friends to go with(I am also going to Orlando for my birthday by myself) I can see myself having a great time... but I can also see where all of this can go horribly horribly wrong.
I can see myself getting there and being too shy to introduce myself to anyone, then subsequently kicking myself for not introducing myself to anyone. I can see myself not hanging out with anyone for the duration, but somehow getting ahold of alcohol and/or drugs to lift my anxiety and then hating myself in the morning because I had to "self-medicate" again to relieve my social stress. I feel that any joy I would have there would be directly offset by the anxiety and depression I would feel because I would feel like a total douche for being there by myself though in actuality there isn't anything wrong with that... for most normal people.
I dunno. I don't want to miss a chance to have a great time at a music event that i'll enjoy(and would ultimately regret if I didn't go,) but I still can't help but think that i'm just going to fall into the same old traps that I normally do at most social outings.
Totally know where you're coming from on this. It's one of those damned if you do, damned if you don't predicaments. To be brutally honest, probably 5% of impulsive stuff I've done turned out positive, or kind of positive. I'm not sure if it makes up for the other 95%. While we should congratulate ourselves for every little attempt to do something "normal", the overwhelming nature of the emotional residue from such attempts is crippling for weeks.
Just had a birthday recently as well, yet another "empty party afternoon".
_________________
"The world is only as deep as we can see. This is why fools think themselves profound." - R. Scott Bakker, The Judging Eye
Similar Topics | |
---|---|
Made the mistake of telling a relative |
03 Oct 2024, 5:16 am |
Conflating the LBGQT rights movement, ND movement mistake? |
11 Oct 2024, 2:59 pm |