I had a dream...

Post Reply New Topic

Had a dream last night that I became part of a group of the most loving caring friends anyone could ever have. They appreciated me for me, they understood all the things that I could not say, they loved me as equals, and they were never afraid to give or receive affection. Even when I had trouble fitting in, they would go out of their way to make me fit in, but never once was there any pity or false sympathy. One of them was even interested in something more than just friendship.

Then I had to wake up and come back to the real world where both of my two friends are in other parts of the world, and I am just another pity case trying to get by.

Please no comments about joining social groups or trying to meet people, I have been used and abused to often to ever believe that my dream friends could be a reality.

WP is a social group, sort-of. It's the next best thing.

Where are your two friends? Away at school and coming back eventually?

[quote="Tahitiii"]WP is a social group, sort-of. It's the next best thing.

Where are your two friends? Away at school and coming back eventually?[/quote]

Can WP give me a hug when I need it? Can WP help me in my workshop just for the fun of being in the same physical space as me? Can WP give me any kind of physical comfort or support?

One friend is on the other side of the city tied down by a nagging husband and a small child. The other is somewhere in either Canada or America training all day every day then performing in several shows every night with a circus company. Both can be contacted via email etc, but neither are able to do the things mentioned above.

In my dream, one friend in particular loved me wholy and onconditionally. She would have loved no one else but me, she would have done anything for me.

Sometimes it seems like we live in such a cold and impersonal world. For me, it seems like all of my social interaction takes place behind a screen. I can't really see the people I am talking and writing to. Sometimes I want more personal interaction but all I ever feel like is I am sitting in a cold, dark little cell all alone.

That seems all too similar to my own situation, but I'm adjusting. Especially considering I have to take care of myself, w/precaution, patience, poise...and other precisely placed p-words. j/k But I really don't mind the solitude usually, as long as it gives me the time and space to do the things I need and want to do w/my life.

I feel like that too. The only people who ever let me hang out with them do it purely out of pity. I'm rarely invited to anything and if I am it's usually an afterthought or common decency rather than actually wanting me there. I'm not blaming them though. I can't connect to anybody so why the hell would anyone want to waste their time on me?

Does anyone have any ideas on how to turn these sad little non friendships into real life companions?
Is such a thing even possible?

As Linkin Park said:
"all you ever wanted was someone to truely look up to you"

Feel free to PM me.... We'll see where it goes.

By the way, Lessian, I took the liberty of reading a couple of your previous posts and you and I, I feel, have alot in common, particularly when it comes to functioning in the working world. I read what you wrote about not being able to compete with all of the teeny-boppers who have awesome social skills and enthusiasm. I feel the exact same way.

Life will never be perfect. You're gonna be betrayed, hurt and backstabbed.

That said...it'll make those friendships you find that much better and that much greater.

A candle is always brightest in the dark.

Yes...the world is cold. It's vicious. And ultimately in the end it'll claim your corpse as it claims others. Perfect equality.

I do wish you luck in finding friends though. Aspies need a lot of support.

I had a nightmare…

The whole world went crazy, and I was the only one who saw it.
Our own government blew up some buildings, killing 3,000 people in a single day, in broad daylight, on video, in front of the whole world. Everybody saw it, but we were supposed to pretend that we didn’t see. They blamed a group of foreigners from some backward little country who couldn’t possibly have done anything like that, but people just want to believe what they want to believe.

Then they used the event as an excuse to start a couple of wars, killed over a million people, maimed and displaced countless others, completely destroyed one of the world’s most ancient cultures and stole their natural resources.

All in the name of “protecting our interests.” Not that they had any intention of sharing the pillage. That all went to a handful of people who are already too fat, to be used against us.

And everyone cheered, as though this would somehow benefit us. The house slaves. When the master is rich, we say “we be rich,” even though we know that he will never share it. Rather than recognizing that we have more in common with the field hands than the master, everyone defends the masters right to abuse.

How could they get away with something so horrific? They do it all the time. That’s what made this country so strong. Like the institution of slavery – most people honestly believed that it was good and just and moral, and the rest shrugged and said, “that’s just the way it is.” There’s no point in arguing with the economic basis of life itself. Might-makes-right has always been the only real law. Big people get what they want, and little people take what they get.

The only difference today is that they’re big enough and strong enough and stupid enough to destroy everything, including themselves.

And then I woke up and wished that I had someone in real life who had a brain.

(Sorry to hijack your thread. I just couldn't stop. Loneliness comes in many forms.)

I realise that making and keeping new friends is not something that is not likely to happen any time soon, but had to ask anyway. Like maybe chemists came up with some new drug or treatment regime.

Brusilov: While I am appreciative that someone else is thinking with me, it is a sad thing that multiple people have the same problem.

My psychologist thinks that I need to have more in the way of a social support group. So I have made arrangements to go to beading workshops. I am a veteren jewellery maker, but have not done anything for a year or so because my depression issues have gotten in the way. I am hoping that these workshops will help me get my mojo back. I was hoping to be able to make some friends with similar interests, but so far I have only met a few potential grandmother type relationships.

I dont want family, I want companions!

Tahittii: was that you venting about the american government, about the world in general, or making a very indirect response to something that has been said somewhere? (*confused brow scrunch*)

Just venting. Sorry. Got a little carried away. It's hard when you don't see things the way others see them.

Anyway, have you looked into things like meetup.com? If you're in a densely populated area I would think you would find something. Or start something of your own.
I found a local Aspie group and have been to three of their meetings. It was maybe five or six people meeting at a local pizza place. I liked it. I was the oldest one there, and it didn't seem to matter. Half of them were WP regulars. I see some bigger, more active groups, but they're a little farther away and I haven't been able to get to them yet.