How do you trust someone online?

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That isn't in the guise of someone else.

I do like to get to know people but I've had users under different names who I never got along with and they'd try and chat with me.

I got a few people now that're being "nice" to me yet ever since these occurences, I'm having trust issues with many people online. There are acceptions to those I've known for quite sometime.

One of the problems I have in opening up to someone online is being vulnerable because all of what I put my heart and soul into could be used against me or put in a snide way. I don't know how to respond to some of these people because I get suspicious that they know me and are out to get me or troll around with my emotions. I can't help when it comes to pouring my emotions online vs real life because I have trouble verbalizing these thoughts and not many people care to have a casual conversation with me.

This is so hard. So how do I respond to someone who may be someone else that I am in fear of or have had a bad history with online?

Any tips or personal experiences?

Are you kidding? You're perfectly sensible not to trust anyone over the internet! Even if they give you pictures or talk to you on the phone, you still have no real idea who they are or where they are.

By all means, be friendly to them, but never trust anyone on the internet!

There ARE people you can trust on the internet, but most of them are not to be trusted. Truth is, it's not easy to decide if you can trust someone or not. It's the same as meeting someone for the first time. You don't know them, they could be playing you for a fool, be-friending you to gain access to whatever it is they want from you

Fear of being vulnerable is perfectly normal. Especially if you have had your vulnerability trampled on by other's. However, the more that you allow yourself to be vulnerable, the better you most likely will find yourself able to manage it.

I love communicating on line with all kinds of people. Recently I have become quite fond of doing so on FaceBook which rekindled my love for WrongPlanet. Chatting on line allows me to use the best parts of my social skills; my intellect, and my deep sense of empathy; without having the anxiety of talking to someone face to face. Without the anxiety, my communication is much clearer. I recently walked an NT friend through her crippling fear of being vulnerable in an online chat that ended up lasting until 5am.

Trust is built by taking risks, managing the results, and discerning the answers. These are skills most of us can learn. It's just a matter of staying teachable which for some is harder then others, especially when it comes to being vulnerable.

Definately do not give out personal information to people that you do not know personaly.
Especialy if you are under 21.

Good question! I don't! I esp tend to not trust other women, so any meaningful friendships are with men. But, despite my few friendships. I am still very guarded.
Btw, "Irishmic", I love your "green man" avatar. It is very appropriate for this time of year

I understand your fear. I have only learned who I can trust on a limited basis through trial and error, life experience, etc... I wish I could tell you how to pick out who can be trusted and who can not. I have developed my own system, which definitely has it's flaws, but there is no way I could even begin to explain it to someone. If you don't know who to trust then just only give them info that you would give a stranger or distant acquaintance. If you are just talking to someone on the internet, use a different name and don't give them any info regarding age/location, etc... However, you can still talk about any real feelings you may have under that guise.
I too have recently reconnected with a lot of people on FB , who I knew from grade school, high school, college and life in general. However, I am more reserved than ever. I look at their seemingly perfect lives (married w/ children) and feel more flawed than ever! I used to be the smart nerdy one, who would do great things. I feel that I haven't done anything..... It is really depressing. I have always had isolationist qualities, but I managed to "act as if" and proceed to seem to live a "normal" life. Now I can't even leave my house! I am living off disability and savings, since I can't bare to go out in public anymore!

Just assume that there's nothing forcing people to tell the truth out here, but it's possible they are so don't be rude about it. Talks about feelings and personal problems tend to be true. The rest, take it all with a grain of salt unless you have enough contact and proof with the person to verify it all. And certainly don't rush into anything with people online. Too many people get into one or two conversations online that they consider intimate and make terrible mistakes based on it. Not to scare anyone, but sometimes those mistakes are fatal.

I understand your hesitance to trust anyone online and rightly so! I do not trust people online either. Whoever said before me that chats to do with problems and feelings are probably true is most likely correct. But I would never give out really personal information (address, phone #, etc.) myself, and especially meet anyone I met online! That could just turn out plain tragic sorry to say. Everything anyone says in person or online makes them vulnerable to everyone else. Just trust your instincts and be careful.

AKA, unsure=don't do it

i only trust one person online who posts on intensity, and a couple people who post on panterachat. im not trusting anyone else. too dangerous

This is not just an online problem. In my experience anytime you open up to another human and tell them how you truly feel about anything, you've just handed them a baseball bat to beat you with later.

Online it's even worse - online, everything you share is public - and eternal. Everything you type will still be somewhere in cyberspace long after you're dead. In the meantime it can be resurrected at any moment to be used against you.

Trust No One

In general: You should not.

Trust is not something that should be given away to anyone that you start talking to, trust is a highly valued commodity that should be earned over time.

Frankly, do like I do and get register with an assumed identity. Then people don't like your pen name, not "you."

As one can see, trust and vulnerability are delicate issues. Many people with autism have had traumatic encounters with the social world which have deeply impacted our willingness to be vulnerable and trusting in any social setting. Be aware that their are people who will maliciously abuse socail networking sites towards their own corrupt ends. There are also those who rely on them as a meaningful way to extend and enrich their social experiences. How open and/or guarded you are is ultimatly a personal decision. I stick to this rule. My personal statements and personal experiences are free for the world to see. If they don't like them, f**k them. My personal information is private and shared with only the very few who have gained deep levels of trust.

MissConstrue, it could just have been me who wrote your first post here. I recognise this SO WELL in myself. Its a constant problem...
For me the internet is the only way I can have the slightest chance to communicate on long term and possible get some friends by time. But my constant fear on making myself vurneable always prevents me from open myself enough making someone wanting to be my friend. I always feel this part of me is tragic

During my last intense obsession I was moderator of an international online forum. There I made some friends during long time. It really grew in me and I felt at the end I could trust the people I talked to so often and shared my thoughts with. I met many people from there IRL and some really became true and honest friends...I still have two friends from there who I feel I can trust 100%. Unfortunately they are busy people and rarely online to talk with me.

Unfortunately two of my closest friends from there turned out to be maniacs. One freaked out and hacked and destroyed the whole forum. I went so sad and furious that I cut the contact emediately.
The other one was even more spooky because it took longer time to discover it was a twisted person I had dealth with all the time. That person turned out to be extremely selfish, harsh and mean and worst, stalking. She have no sense whatsoever what is appropiate and not and I knew many people strongly disliked her due to her stalking behaviour. I went really scared when I realised that I had given all my contact details to this person and that I only wanted to get rid of her. I eventually managed to cut contact here too.

After this experience Im dead affraid to get to know new people, because I know it can take very long time before I can feel the contact is harmful. And by this time you have shared a lot of yourself....
This thoughts make me very sad as I feel I can never ever make friends again. I miss to have friends to talk to and to share daily life with on internet but I also carry my experiences with me too close