Important call coming up - how do I not screw up?!

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A friend of mine, whom I have very high respect for, wants to talk to me on the phone in the next couple of days. I don't normally talk on the phone, because I hate it, and I hate the way my voice sounds. He's a very nice and laid back person, but I'm so worried that I will screw up somehow!! ! What can I do so that I won't mess this up?!?!?! I'm so nervous!

Yikes, I'm not a phone person either, & mostly not verbal. One way might be to write a brief outline about what you expect to talk about with your friend so it's not extemporaneous. That should make it easier. I guess if you feel comfortable enough you could also tell him, from the start, you're phone nervous. You said he's very nice so he should be understanding. Good luck...hope it's not a job interview or dating related.

Oh, you could reduce or eliminate all extraneous stimuli such as the radio or anything visually distracting. Not quite the same, but when I have a take-home exam I often light a candle, maybe make some tea, which makes me be not so nervous. Outline helps, even rehearsing some. Good luck.

2 tricks I use as I am also not a fan of the phone.

I use the dead cell phone battery line a lot. "oh man, my cell phone's beeping, battery is almost dead" A few people think i'm very irresponsible and never charge my phone lol =P.
Other one is the soar throat. Especially right now, spring time and allergy season, works well. the "voice is getting soar, let me call ya back later, need to get something to drink" excuse is good.

Of course these are more escape routes to get out of useless small talk conversations. This sounds like there is some importance to the call and the above escape routes will only delay the inevitable.

Any idea what the context of this phone call is?

I also have a hard time on the phone.

One thing that sometimes helps is I write down things to say on a paper, then have it handy to refer to if I need it.. This is more useful when I know exactly what the call is about or what I need/want to say.

I'm sorry you can't message or email back and forth instead. Now that I'm deaf, I can tell people not to call and to use email with me. When I was your age every use of the phone left me drenched in sweat.

What Labpet said is very good.

For important phone calls, or any phone calls really... I need papers with the important info. It's filled with things I want to say, things I need to remember... and also able to write info down as needed.

I also reduce distractions, make the room extremely quiet. Absolutely no one else in the room with me, or even in the same building if I can manage that.

Another thing is to just go through with it. I'm finding it better to accept your problems and go and do things anyways, than just sitting trying to figure out the best way to do something... like an important phone call.

That's what I hate the most - people around me when I'm on the phone. I have to lock myself in my room, and even then, there are still people around. It makes me feel like people are listening to what I'm saying. Maybe I will take the call outside or something.

You have all been a TREMENDOUS help!! ! Thank you so much!! !! !

I hate it too, specially having to call someone which I have luckily never had to do, was once asked to call someone during school to let them know that I showed up, somehow by shear luck the phone was giving me a hard time, and I couldn't figure out how to work it, the teacher just did it for me.

My best advice is whatever you do just focus on what your going to say next and not on the fact that your talking on the phone, if you keep thinking about "omg this is a phone convorsation" then your going to start panicking because you'll forget what your talking about, or your not thinking about what to say next. Think like the subject of the conversation is the only thing that exists, because its the only thing that matters.


And it probably isn't going to be that bad, when my friend called me I didn't get to nervous, since their not watching you I wasn't afraid of showing my nervousness physically, then again he spent a lot of time doing the talking with me saying yes and no, and the such.

For me speaking on the phone is not as hard as a group because any one-to-one conversation is always easier, and on the phone there are no facial expressions so it can be easier than face-to-face as everyone has to say exactly what they mean, even an NT!

There is more "pressure" if it is some kind of interview situation where the person you are speaking to is going to accept or reject you based on what you say other than purely a technical test which is easier because you are being tested on specific right or wrong answers.