Nerdy and Geeky NTs (I hate them and they hate me)

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I don't buy into this whole assumption that having AS gives us higher IQs but apparently Asperger's is known as a being a nerd or geek syndrome. And I assumed that nearly all of us have intergrated with the nerd or geek crowds in school.

I always thought I was a nerd or a geek until my grades started dropping like crazy. I hung out with the nerdy or geeky cliques in the schools (all the way up to college) but none of them seem to respect me at all. They were always getting annoyed at the smallest little things about me. You'd think that not being the most popular kids they would be a little more understanding about my differences but that didn't stop them from thinking I was annoying. It was almost like being in an abusive relationship with these people. You feel obligated to hang around them because they're supposed to be the good guys so you put up with their crap and assume anything they say is true because they're so good and smart.

This wasn't all the geeks and nerds I've met...a few of them were great friends but they were all either younger or older than me so I felt I couldn't fit in with them. My self-esteem is very low so I have no confidence in fitting in with cliques that did respect me outside of the nerdy and geeky. In high school I hung with the theater kids...the backstage folk mostly, some of them were cool with me but this was theater and even the geeky kids had so much ego stuck up their a**, they would constantly yell at me for the slightest inperfection I would unintentionally cause no matter how hard I tried to do my backstage work for plays and musicals.

I find it ironic that many nerdy NTs would treat me like crap so much though. When I was in college I was on this viral sketch comedy show where the majority of people were supposed to be film geeks. Since it is a sketch comedy show, it is natural for them to center their whole lives around harsh humor that people aren't supposed to take offensively. The angle I got stuck with was being the token Asian (despite the fact that I'm only half Asian). I wasn't offended by their constant racial profiling and stereotyping of me but it did get REALLY irritating to the point where I couldn't stand the smallest joke anymore. If I used this same kind of humor on anyone on the show though they take it really offensively and feel victimized (happened numerous times). I started to really hate nerd NTs around this point.

I get really sick of them acting like they're at the bottom rung of society and that they're such goody goody people but just like Jock or popular NTs, they treat others with differences like crap...okay maybe they wont pull that kind of crap on someone with Down's Syndrome but if someone is REALLY different...like me...I'm fair game to anyone no matter where on the heirarchy of popularity they're on. I don't see a difference between ANY of these cliques no matter how Nerdy or Geeky some of them claim to be. In fact when any NTs says they're such a nerd cause they like "such and such" I get so effin annoyed. They claim to act or be quirky but they're just as bad as any bullying-like NT that would make your life hell. Bad enough that a majority of hollywood films and tv shows generalize nerds in such a matter cause I think it's all B.S. You put a nerdy NT girl next to a popular cheerleader and I assure you that you wouldn't be able to see the difference!

That's my dillusioned view of society but not many people share this disillusionment. Thoughts anyone?

Last edited by raisedbyignorance on 25 May 2009, 7:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I find its best to hang w/ the rejects who usually do not fit into a specific cliche` perfectly (like me ). My friends tend to be younger than me also (combo group of chess club nerds, other nerds rejects, emo, punk, obsessive people & especially transfer students, etc.) Try going for the loners rather than a specific group. But (at least in my case) perverts can be the best bet (ironically for someone w/o social understanding who needs constant translation of perverted things & social behaviors). I also liked some people who graduated b4 me. But I cannot stand anyone (except maybe two or three people) in my graduating class. Whoopy! (practicing sarcasm alert)

Since most of the kind of loners and rejects I've encountered are boys, it traps me in a compromising position. I joined the Anime Club when I first started college but apparently I was never warned about "Rice Chasers", you know guys who are obsessed with things like anime, Japanese culture, and have a twisted fetish for Asian girls. This was my only means of friendship for the first couple of years in college. However, most of the few girls that were in this club (myself included) were willingly driven out around Junior year because of this 50-60 year old man who "joined" the club despite the fact that he wasn't technically a student at the college (he claimed to do a lot of library work and stuff). He was friendly but he was creeping out all of the girls even though he never did anything perverted. Even the boys in the club were very concerned about him being around the girls in the group. He did gave me his jacket to wear when he walked me back to my dorm once and he did tried to invite me to a movie with him alone but I turned him down (because by that point I was wisening up!)

People on the SECOND-TO-THE-BOTTOM-RUNG of the social hierarchy tend to be the most openly hostile and abusive. The guys at the top can often afford to keep their hands clean and pretend to be above it all by letting their minions do their dirty work. Failure to comply puts you on the fast track for the bottom rung.

Sometimes you can avoid it by being a kind of permanent guest, hovering around the fringes without taking a place in line. Like the jester, or the expert in some area of interest. Or the charity case. It probably doesn't last long.

"People on the SECOND-TO-THE-BOTTOM-RUNG of the social hierarchy tend to be the most openly hostile and abusive. The guys at the top can often afford to keep their hands clean and pretend to be above it all by letting their minions do their dirty work. Failure to comply puts you on the fast track for the bottom rung." Tahitiii

Kind of reminds me of how the Irish used to brutalize African Americans in the 1800's, as the Irish were only slightly higher on the social tier. The only lower social group than the Irish were blacks, so the Irish would persecute them endlessly, not wanting to become the untouchables themselves.

And also, I was the worst enemy of the "Nerds" in highschool. The thing that separated me from the Nerds was that they at least had social skills and socialized with eachother. I was classified as a "nerd" by others, but I was anything but. The "nerds" conversations about Monty Python and such things where so trite and stupid I would have killed myself had I had to spend 10 minutes in their company. In fact, High School kids in general were just awful to be around.

Geeks are no fun, aspie or not. Maybe I am one, but that doesn't reflect who I've hung out with. Anyone from 8 years older than me, to skater kids, to metal junkies, whatever. Hell even rednecks. It doesn't matter, people are people man.

Absolutely true. It's like poor white trash in the US with blacks, or how in Latin America Amerindian men often treat their women - the second-lowest group is always vicious with the untouchables (which helps keep both groups down). Those at the top have no need to reaffirm their status as much, and can even have a kind of anthropological curiosity about those at the very bottom. It is also those at the bottom that are typically the least tolerant of internal dissent (which is actually extremely useful for whoever is at the top of the hierarchy, because it means they merely have to control the leadership to control the entire group - how else do you think downtrodden majorities can stay like that for centuries?) - think of hostility among racial minorities against interracial dating, for example.

Personally I prefer to hang out with the loners, outcasts, misfits, etc rather than any specific clique. There's nothing that magical about geeks - hell, I work with scientists, and believe me there's no shortage of divas, petty, cliquey people, hypocritical socialites, backstabbers, etc.