A poem from an aspie

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Am I Too Boring?

am I so boring that I don't see
when others need a laugh
and it's not from me?

am I so out of ideas, creative thoughts
that what I have to offer anyone
is nothing more than 'I forgots'?

is my life so empty, so devoid of fire
that it seems life just drags on
without needs or desire?

does anything that matters to 'normal' men
seem completely lost on me
time and time again?

i'm starved for conversation and yet
when i'm asked for insight
lack of knowledge and meaning are all I get.

truth sets you free
but when truth reveals shortcomings
it's painful and obvious for me to see.

did all this time alone
ruin what once was inside
and leave me with too much unknown?

a friend and companion I truly seek
but the social awkwardness
leave me feeling a bit like a freak.

how much needs changing
on my unpainted palette
or just needs rearranging?

do I seem so dull and boring
that time spent with me
seems lost and deploring?

I'm discouraged and defeated
when I don't measure up
my words and thoughts are depleted.

what do I change or do
in this mind or my life
to not be so inanely boring to you?

r.b. 2007