Is apologizing extra-difficult for an Aspie?

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Thinking about this some more, I guess it also depends on what he did. I mean, by AS related inappropriate behavior, are we talking about embarrassing his parents by stimming or flapping in public, or refusing to go to a large familysocial function? Or, like a friend of mine, throwing a bowl of soup on the floor in a restaurant because it was not what she wanted/ordered? Or is it something like my son, who has lost his computer privileges at the library because he repeatedly went on for 5-6 hours when he had a limit of one hour per day?

I think , if the behavior just involved odd social behavior (flapping or rockign in public) I would drop it altogther and rethink it all.

If it was dishonesty, as with my son, an apology wouldn't really be the thing anyway.

If we are talking a social outrage or a cases where someone else's rights were violated (an aspie girl I know actually jumped out of a moving car along a busy road in the midst of a meltdown- totally freaking out her driver) (or throwing a temper tantrum in public) then an apology is the least of the things that should be happening, stubborn or not.

To me it sort of depends on the situation, I spose.

Depending on what I had to apologize for, many times I was just too proud and stubborn to do so.

Still am.

I've always had some problems with apologies. Sometimes, if I've done something ergregiously wrong, I'll just be embarassed into silence and avoid the scene entirely. In cases like that, I just feel like nothing I could say would possibly preserve my dignity or rectify the situation.

When people apologize to me, it also feels strange. I am a forgiving soul, but I dislike it when they grovel and beg for forgiveness, as that's just pathetic and repulsive. Apologizing is an admirable thing to do, but please do so on your feet.

I think the biggest issue as far as I'm concerned is that I don't always know that something I did was wrong and that it needed to be apologized for. Kinda hard to apologize when one doesn't realize they were at fault. Don't know if that's the same for others but often I'll say something or do something and others take it as offensive but for me it may be just me trying to help and miscommunication occurs.

My son, 7 years old, got in a fight with an older kid at school. (He's been in several fights at school) This one however, happened at recess, because the older kid was picking on a little girl that's in my son's class. My son went up to him and started slugging him in the stomache. He made the boy cry and they had to physically remove my son from the playground. It took the school councelor over half the day to calm my son down, and convince him that he should appologize. My son felt that he was justified by his actions because he was trying to protect the girl in his class. To this day, he still says he's not sorry for what he did, but he did appologize that day. I think it was because he wanted the councelor and the teacher to leave him alone about it.

My point is, that when my son feels strongly about something, it's almost impossble to get him to change his mind. The main thing we are working on right now is helping him learn to make the right choices when he's in these kinds of situations. He just needs lots and lots of guidance so that someday, he might be able to cope with life and make good choices by himself.