Need advice about Public Middle School

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I have a dilemma of sorts I need some help with...

I found one here in our hometown. Small, great staff, teachers, ESE support, and best of all they answered ALL my questions, and introduced me to the principal and administration staff. Problem is, we're not zoned to go there. The one we are ARE zoned to go to was not what I had hoped. The office staff looked like they hated thier jobs, the ESE guidance councelor said many times that I was "10 months early" to have this meeting with her, and couldn't really tell me what she could do to help transition my son at that time. I left feeling very intimitated, which I thought my son wouldn't fare much better.

The dilemma I have is that while I like the smaller school, none of the kids he has gone to elementary school with will be there. He might see a few kids from scouts, but the large majority or students he's been with are going to other middle schools in the area. Do I just suck it up and send him to the school we're zoned for so he has friendly faces he knows (he has mostly classmates in school, not many pals); or do I do what I think is the right thing and enroll him in the school I was impressed with? They'll all meet up again in High School, but I'm not sure what the right call is here. Any ideas? Suggestions? Examples? I'm all ears (and eyes!)

Thanks so much!
Shash

First question you should ask is what will the district say if you try to send him to the school that is not in your area. Some districts do not care or are forced to allow a certain number of students to go to schools not in their area (in MN, it is law for all districts/schools to reserve seats for those not in the district), in other areas, the district will be fiercly opposed to any such idea.

If you can get your son into either school without waging World War III, the next question is which school will he do the best in. That should be your overriding decision. When I say do best, that means in all facets of school life - Academic and Social.

Hope this helps.

we sent our son to the districted public middle school for 2 years...hoping that the friendly, familiar faces would make a difference. we had hesitations because the staff were unfriendly and seemed to not like their jobs very much. we pushed aside those first impressions for 2 years......in the end, we fought the district to get son placed elsewhere. he's finally in a school with a caring and supportive staff. he has made a friend, and things at home and at school have become much calmer.
listen to your heart. if you truly feel that sending your child to another school would be beneficial, then you must follow what your heart says. you may not end up with the result you wished for, but at least you have tried.

Here in Florida, I can apply for a McKay Scholarship, and based on the accommodations of his IEP, get a dollar figure the state is willing to pay for say a private school tuition. It can also be used to place him in a public school of my choice if I desire.

I can also ask the zoned school to give him a waiver to the other public school, and that would be the route I'd start with first, so if they said no, I'd have other options.



ster, I felt the exact same way about the zoned school I visited. The staff member said many times during our meeting that I was 10 months early for this, and she couldn't give me anything in regards to next year; she was just trying to get through October! I didn't leave with a good feeling, and the office staff looked like they HATED their jobs. M's really beginning to bloom more socially, many kids say hi to him in the halls, ask him questions, etc. I'm hoping I don't ruin that by putting him in a school where he'll know less people than he does now. I know friendships change from elementary to middle, and the same kids you're buddy-buddy with now may not remain that way in middle school. I think M would do wonderfully at the non-zoned middle school, but it might take him awhile to feel comfortable, I guess. I could be working myself up for nothing too, I tend to do that.

Thanks for the replies!! !

Shash

To me, the non-zoned school may be the best option for him. For one thing, it sounds like the staff is more responsive to parents and students than at the zoned school which to me means if he has problems, they will at least be interested in making an effort to help while the zoned school probably won't care or will do as little as possible to address the situation. It also sounds like academically he will be better off there for these same reasons, i.e. they seem to care more there.

During the middle school years, friendships can change. One example was a story friend of mine in 8th grade told me. 8th grade was hell for me. I was picked on by this one group of kids constantly, and then others, even kids who didn't know me, jumped in and started picking on me as well. My friend told me at one time, one of the kids in the group that started picking on me was a good friend his but then started hanging around with this other kid who was the defacto ringleader of the group who picked on me and turned into a complete jerk. Some of these kids who may be his pals or ones who he just knows and doesn't really have any kind of relationship good or bad with could become a problem or become new best friends, but there's no way to know that.

Where he will be best off acadmically should come first and from your description, it sounds like the non-zoned school will be best in this regard.

Good luck.

I skimmed over the replies.. I too live in Florida.. and as you mentioned, you can get a waiver from your childs home school, to be sent to the other one, but i believe you need to provide the transportation..

Good luck and keep us posted!

I met with my son's middleschool counsler before the start of school and also held an IEP to ensure all was in place for him. They asked if my son had friends going to the same school and if the parents of the friends would allow them to attend every class with him. Two of his closest friends attend each and every class with him and it is one of the many things that has been a support to him at such a critical state. He still is having trouble addjusting to middle school but having his buddies with him has helped. Talk with the school counsler to see if this could be a option for your child.

This was one of the questions I did ask, and was told I could not be guaranteed this. Here in FL, there is so much explosive growth that classes can and do shift around so that the teacher you may start the year with, you may not end the year with.

The school we are not zoned for seemed much more accommodating for requests like the one you suggested. I also talked to my neighbor, who's son goes to the public magnet elementary school (and who's M's good friend); she said she'd consider sending her son with M to the non-zoned school if she could do it. So I'm crossing my fingers.

I just want him to be happy, and come out of middle school relatively unscathed. Maybe I'm asking for too much, huh?

Thanks again for the replies, I can't tell you how much this helps me!

Shash

Whoa! That's an easy accomidation to make. If it becomes important to you, I'd check with an advocate before accepting that.

If things don't work out either way, you might consider home schooling or distance learning. My son was diagnosed at 13 with Aspergers and I can tell you middle school was hell. If I had to do it over again I would have home schooled him or placed him in a specific private school until high school. He wasn't challenged academically so he was bored and all the kids and teachers picking on him and in past, was having an effect on his self-esteem and depression. I think that having a good mental outlook with this syndrome is far more important than education. The majority of these kids are bright and I think you can create the proper setting for them to learn.