I hope no one is offended at this post. I tracked down this handout from one of my classes in college on special needs kids. I know I gave my mom and dad a dreadful time growing up, and it has lots to do with what we now know to be Asperger's.... She read this some time ago and liked it very much. She said there's alot of truth to it. Anyhow, This story is read at the begining of every Of Hopes and Dreams Family Connection conference, or so the paper says. I hope you enjoy it....
Emily Perl Kingsley wrote:
Welcome to Holland
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disibility- to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. Its like this.......
When you're going to have a baby, its like planning for a fabulous vacation trip- to Italy. You buy a bunch of guidebooks, and make wonderful plans. The coliseum, The Michelangel David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. Its all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags, and off you go. Several hours later the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says. "Welcome to Holland."
"HOLLAND?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. Its just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole group of people you would have never met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around....and you began to notice Holland has windmills...Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy and comming and going from Italy, and they're all bragging about whata wonderful time they have had there.
And for the rest of your life, you will say, "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that loss will never, ever, ever, ever go away.... because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss.
But.... If you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, very lovely things..... about Holland.
By: Emily Perl Kingsley