23 Dec 2005, 9:04 pm
23 Dec 2005, 9:20 pm
23 Dec 2005, 9:35 pm
23 Dec 2005, 9:37 pm
23 Dec 2005, 10:15 pm
ridgerider wrote:
Rilke! Ohmigod. Maria is one of my favorites. I also read his "
Advice to a Young Poet" (or at least I remember the letters called that, I am sure you are familiar).
Would I be out of line asking for your translation of this one (if you have one and it differs some. if it is convenient)?
Ignorant Before The Heavens Of My Life
Ignorant before the heavens of my life,
I stand and gaze in wonder. Oh the vastness
of the stars. Their rising and descent. How still.
As if I didn't exist. Do I have any
share in this? Have I somehow dispensed with
their pure effect? Does my blood's ebb and flow
change with their changes? Let me put aside
every desire, every relationship
except this one, so that my heart grows used to
its farthest spaces. Better that it live
fully aware, in the terror of its stars, than
as if protected, soothed by what is near.
Advice to a Young Poet" (or at least I remember the letters called that, I am sure you are familiar).
Would I be out of line asking for your translation of this one (if you have one and it differs some. if it is convenient)?
Ignorant Before The Heavens Of My Life
Ignorant before the heavens of my life,
I stand and gaze in wonder. Oh the vastness
of the stars. Their rising and descent. How still.
As if I didn't exist. Do I have any
share in this? Have I somehow dispensed with
their pure effect? Does my blood's ebb and flow
change with their changes? Let me put aside
every desire, every relationship
except this one, so that my heart grows used to
its farthest spaces. Better that it live
fully aware, in the terror of its stars, than
as if protected, soothed by what is near.
I haven't translated that one yet, I can assure you. What book is it from and then I can search out the original German, translate it, and see how it matches up?
Of course, I usually have mine edited by a native German-speaking professor at school since there are some things only a native can give insight to into a language.
As for your translation, it sounds very much like Rilke in English should be. Soft and simple. It's quite lovely.
Here's one of my translations of his from The Book of Images:
Quote:
Girls
I
Others must travel long paths
to reach the dark poet;
and when they arrive, they always ask him
whether he had seen them singing,
had seen them as they laid hands on strings.
But the girls never ask
which bridge leads to images;
they only smile, brighter than any strings of pearls
held by scarves of silver.
And in their young lives, every door opens in
onto the poet
and into the world.
II
Girls, the poet studies you
to be able to say what you, in your solitude, are;
learning of life simply from this seclusion,
as in the evenings the great stars
become slowly accustomed to eternity.
But no one can ever truly give herself to the poet,
when his eye has also longed after women;
because he can think of you only as young girls:
the feeling in your wrists
would break beneath the brocade.
So let him be alone in his garden
where, as angels, you will remain
along the paths that he wanders daily,
upon the benches that now wait in shadow,
and in the room where the lute once hung.
Go!... it’s growing dark. He no longer
seeks out your voices or form.
His path lies long and empty before him
and there is no more white beneath the dark beech trees--
Now he loves the mute room most.
…Your voices are too distant for him
(lost amongst men whom he endlessly avoids)
and his tender memories suffer from the notion
that so many look upon you.
I
Others must travel long paths
to reach the dark poet;
and when they arrive, they always ask him
whether he had seen them singing,
had seen them as they laid hands on strings.
But the girls never ask
which bridge leads to images;
they only smile, brighter than any strings of pearls
held by scarves of silver.
And in their young lives, every door opens in
onto the poet
and into the world.
II
Girls, the poet studies you
to be able to say what you, in your solitude, are;
learning of life simply from this seclusion,
as in the evenings the great stars
become slowly accustomed to eternity.
But no one can ever truly give herself to the poet,
when his eye has also longed after women;
because he can think of you only as young girls:
the feeling in your wrists
would break beneath the brocade.
So let him be alone in his garden
where, as angels, you will remain
along the paths that he wanders daily,
upon the benches that now wait in shadow,
and in the room where the lute once hung.
Go!... it’s growing dark. He no longer
seeks out your voices or form.
His path lies long and empty before him
and there is no more white beneath the dark beech trees--
Now he loves the mute room most.
…Your voices are too distant for him
(lost amongst men whom he endlessly avoids)
and his tender memories suffer from the notion
that so many look upon you.
Currently I am not fluent in German at all. It's mainly a combination of dictionaries, some online translation engines for unfamiliar grammar, a good English poetic ear, a like for Rilke's style, and my German professor who is from Köln who looks over it and tells me when something is off or there is a subtlety in the German which doesn't translate over directly into English.
But I do really enjoy translating/reading Rilke. But I've noticed there are many very bad, but famous, translators of his work. I was very surprised when I read one of his leading translators' work. It was AWEFUL. His name is Edward Snow. I recommend avoiding his work entirely.
But the translator of Rilke who has really impressed me but who unfortunately is now dead is C.F. MacIntyre. I'm not sure how extensively he translated Rilke. He did some at the very least. He also translated a good many of the French Symbolists and I was also VERY impressed with his renditions of those. He'd probably be my favorite poetic translator, not that I know of many.
24 Dec 2005, 10:23 am
24 Dec 2005, 10:37 am
24 Dec 2005, 11:32 am
24 Dec 2005, 9:32 pm
26 Dec 2005, 11:57 am
30 Dec 2005, 10:19 pm
31 Dec 2005, 10:49 am
TheViking - so nice to see you have a sense of humor Cling to that, it is a powerful weapon when dealing with the vicissitudes of life.
HuskyInDenial
Snowy Owl
Joined: 3 Dec 2005
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 160
Location: Somewhere Out There...
01 Jan 2006, 5:51 pm
TheViking wrote:
the air that comes from ones cheeks
is the smell of one who has just cut the cheese
is the smell of one who has just cut the cheese
yaaay comedy
happy new year folks in this post!
