My mind raced, my body ached and my eyes began to burn as I stared mindlessly at my computer screen, wishing that the words I was typing would pop up. I was shocked, angry, and above all else, I was close to reaching a breaking point both mentally and emotionally. I began to take deep breaths at a rapid pace, trying to escape from my high-anxiety and chaos-filled, out-of-control state-of-mind. I didn't give up, even though her time was limited. As sweat dripped off my brow and onto my keyboard, I continued to type faster and faster. My fingertips pressed down on the keys my sweat had dripped onto, leaving an acidic-like smudge. I was afraid and worried. The possibility that a loved one could be lost was no longer an impossibility, but a deep and dark reality.
“Why?” I asked myself, as I continued to type, getting more anxious with each passing second. Just an hour ago I was in the best shape of my life: confident, joyful, and happily downloading my own illegal copy of Adobe Photo Shop, serial number and all. Now, my heart was racing; I could hear a silent-to-anyone-but-me thumping noise that kept on growing in volume and base. Her soft and gentle beeps were more like cries of pain and torture to my ears. “Hold on, please, don't die!” I told her, trying desperately to get her to respond, to regain consciousness. If I could, I would have given her CPR.
I was alone in the dark. I felt robbed of my sanity and deprived of my well-being. Yet there I sat, locked in a state of panic, trying desperately to solve a puzzle that had single-handedly stumped my mind and had driven me into the epitome of insanity. I used my mouse and clicked rapidly, anywhere that was accessible on the desktop or an open window. Nothing happened. Nothing worked. I felt cold and frozen, much like she was. I began to bite my nails in a flurry of extreme impatience and frustration. I was trapped in a state of manic-depression and prolonged insecurity. Even my three best friends: Alt, Ctrl, and Delete had abandoned me in this virtual crisis.
My whole life was at risk. My identity, my passwords, my programs, my documents, my address book, my music, my videos – everything was on the line, but ironically close to going offline. Everything I had hacked, cracked, torrented, stole, decoded and downloaded – it could all be taken from me.
“It's just a matter of time,” I said out-loud, as I leaned back in my chair and stared at the screen knowing all-too-well that it was inevitable; that even the best get a taste of their own medicine. It was time to swallow my pride. For five years I had that computer, upgraded her and turned her into a beast-without-a-leash in terms of processing power. I had all the tools to make sure she would be safe: five firewalls, anti-hacking software, three of the best virus scans known to man -- even one I had hacked and cracked from a company in Korea. I thought I had no reason to back-up my files, but I was so naïve; so easily convinced to throw caution to the wind and take chances that even a technologically-inclined daredevil wouldn't be reckless enough to take.
“It happens to the best of them,” I thought as slowly, my computer screen turned into an explosion of blue, as the light beaming from the screen completely impaired my vision and made my face completely visible. I stared at the computer screen and the option given to me, which was written in cold white letters. I was given power of attorney and her fate was in my hands.
‘Catastrophic Error – Windows cannot be restarted. Do you wish to perform a complete system restore? Y/N’
13 Sep 2008, 8:28 am
