One Life to Live: The Poem

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One life to live to make a difference
only an unknown amount of years days months days left in our existence
19 years 10 months and 2 days have done nothing but make me doubt
What is my purpose... what is this sacred existence about?
Pray to God everyday to just show me a sign
cuz the darkness eats me away like a tumor non-benign
some days i see light at the end
just one more turn around a bend
then im bumped back to start all over again
we all go through lifes trenches, life's darkness, life's hell
but some arent as equipped with dealing with the fire as well
familiar faces only seem like a memory
but sometimes thats the way its suppossed to be
but with emotional breakdowns a regular occurrence
one just needs assurance that hell be fine
but sometime he may not believe it or cant feel it or recieve it
the feeling of love because its so unfamiliar to him
the feeling of mistrust because its been so prevelant
the feeling of uncertainty because you dont know what you can do
that life is the disease and the only victim is you
you never ask for what life gives you just take it and play it
but you have seven duece and everyone else has big slick
disadvantage is the burden with many people in this world
rich or poor, white or black there is a reason for everything
i know i need help and i know i have to do it by myself
confusing but life is, unfair but life is
but life is what life is and strife is what strife is
and i cant deny this so i just gotta try this
and try and fail and try and fail
and scratch and claw for everything thats worth anything in life
whether its friends, love or achievement its seems to avoid me like the plague
so im forced to say f**k it im doing it my way
my way is passion, fire, and a whole lot of tears
my vision is poor and foggy but my goal is clear
to be a good man, citizen and parent
much better than they ever were
my mental and emotional scars i wear on my sleeve
you can touch them feel them yes theyre all me
as those who care i know you feel helpless and that im a burden
i just want to be a good person i reassure you
im difficult, thick headed, and just plain stupid sometimes and i bet
youd be as needy as me if you're needs were never met
i want to be superman but he needs help a lot of help
i want to be superman but i wonder if i can save myself
i want to be superman but i never knew it could be so rough
and sometimes in this game of survival i dont feel like im good enough
that im undeserving of friendship or love or even this gift of life
or even something as simple as a movie invite
life is lonely and hard and not all its cracked up to be
and i know i was ill prepared to navigate this vast sea
and i may always be struggling to catch up to those around me
but im too young to give up now i just need to be set free
one life to live one life to love one life to be me
if you took the time to read this please dont feel bad for this depressive aspie
cuz i believe time and love heals all wounds even though i have yet to see
but someone who is constantly exchanging love is who i want to be

Thanks for reading. Please comment and feedback would be nice.

Frankly I find this over dramatic. I have lived quite a while with no necessity to find any reason in it but the raw experience of existence and that is quite fascinating in itself and quite satisfying.

you're definitly young in your craft, but there are signs of potential. You need to learn to trust yourself more when it comes to structure. It isnt all about what you say, its also how you say it. you have some slick lines to work from, but you need to learn more about the other ways to manipulate this language. look into alliteration and assonance, synechdoche, chiasmus, etc. These will help you learn more about your abilities and where you need practice.