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AnAlias
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15 Oct 2008, 12:46 am

This is probably absolutely horrible, it is just something I wrote out fairly quickly. Opinions?

The fruit grew upon the ground
A short stump of a plant
A bright red glow upon its highest branch
The blue bird landed beside it
It eyed the fruit with great delight
Soon its beak it would close upon it
The red bird sighted the fruit
The red bird rushed in beside the blue bird
The blue bird raced to the fruit
The red bird pushed aside the blue bird
Both pecked for the fruit
The red bird knocked the blue bird off stride
Triumphantly the red bird plucked the fruit from the tree and flew off
The red bird did not fly far
It came to the ground in a thud
In great convulsions it spit up the remains of the fruit
Then it collapsed to the ground
All this the blue bird watched
Then it flew away


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just-me
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17 Oct 2008, 1:52 am

it sounds like a very good short story, have you considered writing ?



AnAlias
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17 Oct 2008, 1:55 am

Perhaps at some point, not in the near future though. I need to be in a very special sort of mood to want to write something.


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PhR33kY
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17 Oct 2008, 5:27 am

AnAlias wrote:
Perhaps at some point, not in the near future though. I need to be in a very special sort of mood to want to write something.


I have learned that you don't need to be in the mood to do somting in order to do it.

It reads more like a story. I'd consider trying to write in prose.


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