Need your thoughts for EEOC mediation

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I worked at a place with very hostile people, so hostile that I complained to the Equal Opportunity Commission, who has agreed with me. IThey have filed an action against my employer for hostile work environment and retaliation. I will be going to mediation soon, and I need some feedback on the AS issue. Any help or comments you can give me would be appreciated. If I get a settlement I"ll make a donation to WP! (Gotta keep those horrible flashing ads off the site).

So here's the situation in a nutshell. There were approximately 10 people who were hostile to me, and this hostility was pretty much every day. After 20 years in the workplace, I am used to some hostility from one or two people, but this was off the charts in terms of how they acted and how many people it was, etc. Anyway, I had complained to my boss about these people a number of times without anything being done about it. It was getting really bad so my shrink wrote my boss a letter and said I could only work 3 days a week. I complained again, this time saying that it could be an EEOC issue, and the next day I got a "corrective action" stating that:

1. I MUST be willing to collaboratively resolve differences with staff
2. When feeling disrespected, I must ask for clarification in the moment
3. I must meet with every person that I have identified unresolved issues with, along with my boss, someone from HR, and we must collaboratively resolve diffferences at all 10 meetings.

By the way, she knows I have AS. Two, this is a behavioral care facility that treats people with AS among other things.

I feel like her requests are punishment and unreasonable. I feel like if all these people have a problem with me (it's racial, by the way - all of them are one ethnicity that is different from me) that they should be the ones being talked to by administration. Why should I have to meet with 10 people when they're the ones with the problem?

And most importantly, and this is where I'd like your feedback, I feel like this is an unreasonable expectation for someone with AS. The thought of even one meeting with someone who disrespects me and actively dislikes me makes me want to throw up. Do you agree that this is an unreasonable expectation for someone with AS, or is it just me being a wuss?

Statement 2. sounds like a good strategy, but if this really is one-sided hostility, then statements 1. and 3. are unreasonable whether you have AS or not.
It may be that your boss is assuming that ethnic discrimination against you is just a communication problem on your part, because of your AS. Which, of course, is also discrimination.
(God, I'm glad that I'm out of the workforce)

o fer the love of....

I tried a new post and edited the old one out. Gr.

Last edited by hermit on 18 Jan 2006, 12:02 am, edited 2 times in total.

If it were me, I'd talk to a labor law attorney - Can the EEOC person recommend one or maybe send someone as an advocate. Also the HR rep is esentially a paralegal for the employer.


Did your employer ever make attempts to accomodate you?

Clarification:
I will not be going back to this job, so I won't have to meet with the ten as*holes. I tried to get a lawyer and failed, so will be going to mediation on my own. The racial discrimination and hostile work environment are already well-established, as is retaliation (I didn't mention that part). My question is just about the reasonableness of expecting someone with AS to meet with ten hostile people at 10 different meetings.

So my question to all of you AS folks is, would you be able to attend 10 meetings with 10 hostile as*holes that have been treating you like s**t for 9 months and try to "resolve the differences" that are due to their racist attitudes? Or do you think (as I do) that an employer who knows one of her managers who has Asperger's is being treated like s**t, that said employer is being unreasonable and punitive in expecting that person to solve the employer's personnel issues by attending all those meetings?

Last edited by MsTriste on 18 Jan 2006, 1:34 am, edited 1 time in total.

I just had several accidents trying to reply again, so I'm sorry but I'm going to keep it brief:

I agree with you.

It's a bad idea.

Tell them to pound sand...
you're in Hawaii...

Wow. Well, I think option 1 is okay, except in this case when it seems the management is part of the problem. But number 3 is absurd no matter who it is being required of. I mean, under normal circumstances it's tough enough meet with people who have offended you (or are hostile to you, or are just plain irritating), and then deal with the issue without it escalating into some huge war that, if it occured in the elementary schoolyard, would involve "your momma" jokes because that's the most painful wound someone could inflict at that age.

People are just so sensitive (and I am, too, but if it's true criticism, I usually just focus on the honest part) that any attempt at a civil conversation after a perceived attack just aggravates the situation more. It takes a mature individual to take a step back and see someone is trying to help, and your fellow employees do not seem to meet that criteria. I think number 3 is a bad idea. Period. (And yes, the very thought of having to do something like that is not pleasant.)

I agree, though, that it is MANAGEMENT'S duty to fix this, and I am glad you left because that is not a happy situation.

As for help and advice, I really don't have any because I've never been in that situation before, thank goodness.

Thank you all for your answers.
Since I don't have an attorney, I'm going to need to be able to speak eloquently and forcefully on my own behalf (something I'm not at all good at) and so am trying to prepare my arguments in advance. My position is going to be that my employer is guilty not only of the things I mentioned above, but also discrimination against someone with a disability.

I believe she has discriminated because she knows what AS is, and she was making me do something that just isn't possible for someone with AS, thereby ensuring my failure at her requirements which would cause me to lose my job because she knew I would be unable to comply with her demands.

That's a great idea about preparing your arguments in advance... what about writing it ALL down, like a speech? Then you can just read it and if they give you a hard time about THAT, which is another AS issue, then you've got even more against them.

Or try to anticipate questions, make flashcards with Q's they may ask on one side and your response on the other...

It seems as though (ironically) your workplace is ignorant to the conditions associated with AS. moreover by asking all 10 employees to meet you on separate occassions seems to locate the blame in same ways with your initial complaint and therefore you. since you are no longer working at the company it seems obvious that it is the management and HR's responcibility to arrnage a reconciliation on your ground since the initial fault was located within the firms responcibility (10 employees breaking the companies code of conduct/equal opportunities guidelines?). i think you are well within your rights to ask that they reconsider their proposal and negotiate a more constructive methods of solving the issue.

I agree, and I told them that but the boss just grinned wickedly so I walked out of the office and here I am today out on disability from the stress of it all and waiting for a mediation date. It was so hostile I plan on never going back.

It is nice to get all this support - that it's not just me.

I'm still trying to figure out if my contention is correct - that the requirement of meeting with 10 people is almost impossible for someone with AS.

Point 2 is a reasonble suggestion for future problems. However, AS or not there are laws to protect from various types of harrasement, of cause racial harrassment being a very big one.
Employers sugession of sorting it out within the workplace should only be followed if you want it and then taken further if you want. You have every right not to take do what your employer wants and to take the action you state.

I wonder if your boss thinks they are being helpful to both side by thier request or are they trying to put you off.

As someone with AS you could argue that you need a mediator as support in putting your case across.

you must be in control of this.