why?

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Hamas is elected, Bush thinks that Democracy is the road to peace when in fact its the road to hell...So here I am, left with all these thoughts...I often cut myself over the worlds suffering, why must there be such suffering, why must hamas be elected and deny the holocaust took place, why must millions of people be blinded by there oun sin, why is there this cancer that eats away at my marrow and causes me to wish I were never born in such a time as this...Just this night I drew the blade across my skin, thinking for what, why do I even try to reason anymore...with people who are so blinded by this world in which we live...why must there be pain...God why did you put this burden for the world upon my heart, its as if the Lords heart is bleeding into my oun saying...

35Then Jesus declared, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty. 36But as I told you, you have seen me and still you do not believe. 37All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away. 38For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me. 39And this is the will of him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all that he has given me, but raise them up at the last day. 40For my Father's will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day."

Lord why does everyone not choose to look to you for eternal life? Why must others not come to know you...why must they go to hell....why must I care for there eternal destination just as you do and cut myself over the fact that some will go to hell...why can't they all as you say look to you for eternal life...I don't understand why they can't see your grace...why they can't see what is happening in the world as if it is in birth pains wateing for your retern...Why can't others in the so called church see this suffering and do something about it...why do they lable me a heritic and a lier condemned to her oun eternal damnation and then proceed to kick me out of school because of my cutting...all of these things flood my mind and then theres the blade, and then...nothingness...it is all numb...in this I find some kind of confort and peace, while it made be construed as insanity to others it has been the thing that has kept me sane...Death comes to all for me not soon enough...oh Lord take me home...

Sometimes I wish that I could go to Heaven right now in this very moment. But Jesus said to keep running our race of faith, and to keep looking to Him and leaning not on our own understanding. Sometimes there are things that we don't understand in our lives, yet God knows exactly what's going on. More than once God has helped me to get through trials and tribulations in my life and more than once He's got me all the way through. It's a matter of trust, in faith, and in hope in God. Sometimes in my early walk in Christ I thought that God has left me. But no sooner did I realize that He was right there beside me; that sometimes we just take our eyes off of Him and wait impatiently at the door that we knock on. Sometimes I've done that and I thought that God wasn't there anymore. Then, in some way that I don't understand, I remembered that He was there and was actually carrying me through my trials. I hope that you could get to know God the same way as I have; God is truly a good friend that's closer than a brother.

Why is this not in the Politics, Philosophy and Religion forum?

The PP and R forum would be good and I think it also fits in the Haven.

Hannah,

We can never know why but must beleive there is one.

Whatever the plan is, I know Jesus/God/the-higher-power is weeping too.

Certainly God would want you to take the best possible care of yourself. Please try to turn over what is God's worry to God. God is be enough to handle it. And take care of yourself too.

BeeBee

Hannah-The cutting doesn't help. I used to think that if I cut myself enough; if only enough blood coule escape then the pain or dullness that was me would finally rush out and I'd be okay. I even dreamed of ripping myself open. Then I could escape. But I know that it's just not true. It's impossible and nothing will happen except more blood...and scars. Hurts heal. Scars remain. Stop the cutting. Seek the healing and fix your eyes on God, not on the evils of this world. Remember, the world is a moment in eternity; eternity goes on forever.