Aspie understanding diagnosis

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I have a 9 year old aspie son. We have not long told him about his problem, but unfortunately he doesn't understand it. He had one of his (tantrums) as we call them and he said I had a aspergers moment. We have tried to explain that it's something he has all the time, but he just couldn't understand. Has anybody got any ideas how we can get it accross.

Thanks

Our son is 11, and we are paddling up the same river.

It is certainly good that he recognized that his tantrum or meltdown was in some way connected to his AS (maybe via frustration with a social situation, or not able to do his preferred activity at the moment?), and I'm sure you're also in that constant balancing act of helping him with his self-awareness without wanting to help him into using it as an excuse.

We've tried to talk to our son about his meltdowns (as we call them) but he will actually begin to have another one if we try!! He refuses to acknowledge they happen. However, we were shopping in the "megalomart" the other day and it was very crowded and he got a little overstimulated. Add dad into the mix and the fireworks started. My son came over to me and put his head down on my shoulder all embarassed, he felt everyone was looking at him, he knew he'd started on a real head banger right there in the condiments aisle. I convinced him people were way too busy shopping and getting home to notice him (a few well placed "waves" from behind his back to anyone looking didn't hurt ) and he got over it.

Our son knows he has them, as I suspect yours does too. It is just embarassing, and not something they're too readily happy to admit to (not that I can blame them).

I don't think it's important at this point to worry about "getting it across" to him about his behavior. More important is doing what I failed to do the other day - try and stay away from unnecessary triggers whenever possible, and make sure there's an out, a quiet place or somewhere separate - even out to the car - if he starts to let him calm himself.

I think he understands maybe more than you give him credit for.

in our family, hubby and son ill use the phrase "having an aspie moment"...they both know they are aspies, but use this to describe moments of overstimulation, temper tantrums etc...perhaps your son understands his aspie-ness on his own level?

Aspiesmom1 - thank you very much for your help. It really helps to know that people are going through the same thing. We were in town once and he had a meltdown and people were staring. His dad was with him and I was with my other son and this old lady said, to no one in particular, that he would do with a good smack. I was fuming and said so her that he had a problem and it was none of her business. If we talk to him calmly and take his mind off what was the problem, then he soon calms down.

I had a guy say that to me one time when our son was having a hard time, we were in the parking lot of the "megalomart" and he had wanted to buy another train and I said no. He wasn't handling it well. I had just gotten him to the truck and this guy says "lady, that kid needs a good whack". I turned around and said "ok, long as I can warm up on you".

This whole exchange so startled my son he settled down long enough for us to get on the road. I don't think that guy will be dispensing wisdom much anymore either. LOL

Sometimes you just have to let it ride. That day, I couldn't. I know people who hand out business cards explaining their kids' issues. I don't see where strangers deserve that much information, IMHO.

I couldn't agree more with you, aspiesmom1. I too used to find myself justifying my 10 yo AS son's behavior - whether it be to strangers, friends or family. What I discovered was very few of them believed/understood/cared. And in the end, I always sounded like I was trying to make excuses for him. It's just w/in the past 6 months or so that I have gotten to the point where I just don't do that anymore. If the person seems truly interested in knowing, then yes, I'll explain AS and how it effects my son. But otherwise, I figure they're going to think what they want to think, regardless of what I say so why bother.....


Also, I think it's helped that I've started seeing my son's AS traits in a more positive light. Don't get me wrong - there are days when I just want to scream - but those days are farther and farther inbetween than they used to be!