Biting!! !! !! !! !! !!

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My son (5 and a half) is a diagnosed Aspie in a mainstream school with his own learning support worker sitting next to him. Half of the idea of having her there is to mitigate if he's heading for a melt-down.

He is clever and beautiful and he loves school. He's never missed a day and is proud to be there. He has pulled all the stops out and now is co-operative most of the day, although he has had his moments.

However, here and there, lately, people are being bitten. This is now happening once or twice a week and we get called to the headmistresses office. She's on his side but, I get the feeling that this can only play out for so long without some sign of stopping. I mean, how can she have the whole school (including teachers) in bandages! There is one lady with him from 9am-1pm and I so rarely hear of any problems when he is with her. Then, he is with another lady from 1pm-3pm and this is when it is happening mostly. He bit her yesterday. There is one boy who I think my son is fixated on and wants to befriend. He gets bitten about once a week.

He can just lean over and bite you on the face or finger or anywhere in between. He has a talent for it and sinks his teeth in deep. When he's bitten, he will realise it's not a good idea and will have a sort of melt-down.

My son was diagnosed in a 35 minute appointment that we paid for nearly two years ago. I have been asking for a cognitive assessment for nearly two years so that we might get some insight into his behaviour and now we have an appointment for one in May.

If anyone knows of anythng that might work or has been here before I would love to hear from you.

My younger son was a biter too. I had very little success in extinguishing the habit. Your son is really too young to have insight into why he is doing this and too young to control his impulses. Would the school allow him to chew gum? Maybe having something in his mouth would change his impulse because he would already be chewing.

perhaps he's angry about the change of aides ? transitions have typically been quite difficult in our household. has anyone asked him questions about his aides ( not leading questions, but questions like: " what do you do with Lady2? Can you tell me ways that she's different from Lady1?)....my son would see the change of aides as being abandonment. he would say that Lady1 left because she doesnt' like him, and it's Lady2's fault........also, i don't know what your son's cognitive level is, so it's hard to say how much impulse control he has over these situations...his age is also a factor.
are there any warning signals that he is about to bite? i know with some people, there is literally no warning and the behavior seems to just appear out of nowhere....if there are warning signs that he's about to bite~maybe mini-breaks would help. a 2 minute break in a comfy chair might help him recompose himself.

Thanks!

I really appreciate hearing from you and it's comforting to know others have been there.

My worry is that he's going to be asked to leave the school for Health & Safety reasons if this goes on. From the progress we've see so far I can really see that mainstream is a good fit for him.

Knowing my son as I do, I feel that this is not going to go away conveniently quickly. In the mean-time, I'm trying to "hold the fort."

I do know that this has happened on the two occasions that his 9-1 lady has been away for the day.

2 years after diagnosis I would love to find out what his cognitive level is, since, where I live, no-one seems to think it matters. The professionals I talk to look at me oddly as if Im being eccentric and princessy in wanting one. At least it is coming soon and it may help me when I go to the school.

Guys, how long did the biting last for and what were the consequences at the school?

Mine bit for a couple of years but it extinguished itself before school age. He had other dangerous behaviors though. How the school handled him was to put him in regular kindergarden for half day and in the more restrictive environment for the other half day. That did work out well for my son. Maybe it would work for yours. He could be mainstreamed at the time of day his behavior is under better control. Sometimes being on task for an entire day is just too overwhelming. A more restrictive environment at his vulnerable times might actually be comforting to him.

Hey nomoreality! There is an awesome book called "1001 Great Ideas for Teaching and Raising Children with Autism Spectrum Disorders" that addresses all types of challenges our special needs children face. It actually even addresses hostile and/or agressive behaviors as well like hitting, biting, scratching and shoving. The book is by Ellen Notbohm and Veronica Zysk.

Just a few of the things they mention concerning these types of behaviors are:

First, understand where the behavior is coming from. Almost all of these types of behaviors are rooted in your child's sensory and/or social impairments. He is most likely feeling frustrated, fearful, threatened, tired, unable to communicate his needs or unable to cope. He's not trying to provoke, embarrass or make life miserable for anyone. Having this understanding will help you remain calm and patient.

Respond to the first infraction right away giving a crystal clear directive that such behavior is not acceptable.

Respond in the same manner every time, in word, action and consequece. It can take many repetitions to imprint what is acceptable and unacceptable behaviors and consistency aids in comprehension.

Do NOT respond in kind. Answering agression with agression (yelling, spanking, biting back, etc.) will only confuse him. You can't try to teach him that it's not okay to be agressive toward other children while showing him agression in your response to his biting.
Also, it sends the message that is is okay to be agressive if you're the bigger person in the situation which can have the horrifying long-term consequence of him not telling you if another adult behaves agressively or abusively toward him.

Impose "natural" consequences, not "punishment". Punitive punishment for non-compliance or inappropriate behavior will most likely be ineffective in the long run. Without an understanding of cause and effect, your intent will be lost on your child and only succeed in lowering his self-esteem. He has to understand what to do differently next time. Focus on helping him understand natural consequences of his actions by saying something to him like: "If you bite Tommy, he will not want to play with you." Foster emotional awareness with comments like: "I know you didn't mean to hurt Tommy. Let's say I'm sorry." Offer positive reinforcement for compliance and appropriate behaviors.

Evaluate where aggressive messages are coming from in his life. Because of their concrete thinking, children with AS/autism often have trouble distinguishing fantasy from reality. If a game, movie, show or cartoon he plays/watches shows a child biting someone else in a comical way or portraying it as the "right/acceptable thing to do", this message stays with him. Know what your child is watching or playing-watch or play it with him. If you find that something he loves to play/watch actually does reinforce this type of undesirable behavior, wean him off of it slowly and offer more appropriate substitute games/programs that will truly interest him.

Always praise appropriate social behavior and do it often from his choosing not to bite to standing and waiting patiently in line.

These are from the book I mentioned above. Our counselor says it's important to call to our child's attention the good choices they make when they are making them and/or the good behaviors they use when they are using them. This is an example of good positive reinforcement.

The authors of the book also make suggestions for getting thru meltdowns in that you don't try to teach during a meltdown because it's not successful. Use reduced and concrete language during stressful times. Designate one person to provide direction and input during meltdowns (too many people talking to him just escalates the situation for him). Time-outs for everyone involved are good. Model good behaviors like self control by saying something like, "I'm very frustrated (angry, sad, etc.) right now so I'm going to my room (to the hall, etc.) for a few minutes to calm down. When I come back, we can talk about it." Look for antecedants to the meltdown (change in aids, change of environment, etc.) and once you know what they are, avoid them.

Something that will help that our counselor taught us is keeping a little journal that documents when the meltdowns are happening, how long they last, the intensity and frequency of the meltdowns. This helped us to recognize what was setting our 7 yr. old son with AS off (the antecedent) so that we could avoid it all together or make any necessary changes. It also helped us to see when actual progress was being made by keeping tabs on the frequency, intensity and duration of his meltdowns and was a great encouragement to us to keep working on the role playing, role modeling and behavior mods at home.

Hey, I know this is a lot of information, but I hope it helps!

God bless!

Thank you so much.

Rest assured I will get that book like a shot.

I have a LOT of work on my hands.

I can't wait until I his cognitive assessment so that we can move on and get help.

I really appreciate hearing from everybody so don't be shy to tell me what worked/didn't work for you.