Gender roles and how they limit us.

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I feel like gender roles that society (where ever it may be) has put on people has done more harm then good. It's one thing to put genders in the roles that they are generally “most useful” in, but it's another thing to almost force someone to fit a gender role. Everything from how we act, dress, and more. Not all men are “tough angry people who show no sign of weakness or emotions” and not all women are “soft people who are very emotional over everything”. Men, in my experience (guess that's easy to say coming from one, sort of), seem to get it worst when not following gender roles. For example, a male cross-dresser takes a whole lot more heat then a female cross-dresser, which many people may not even say anything bad about a female wearing men's clothing. Also, men are usually “not allowed” to show that their emotional, with crying being their most taboo feeling. However, I am aware of women taking heat from being in any position of power.

While it's more relax today then about 50 years ago, it's not quite a green light yet, that is, male or female doing either roles. Yes, gender roles have existed through out history, but I have no clue what the “punishments” were for not following them. However, today's society isn't history, this isn't the same world it used to be. Even during those times, there were not always just two gender roles. For example, there were people who were considered Two-Spirited, a male and female soul being in the same body. It could be argued today souls are genderless, but that's not what this topic is about.

Not everyone, NTs and Aspies included, feel like they can fit into male or female. It's not quite unheard of with males having female and vice verse. It should be noticed what is considered male or female behaviors is not set in stone, but mainly depends on society. A man wearing a skirt in America might be considered cross-dressing, but not in some other countries. What might be unheard (and misunderstood if heard of) are people who feel like their born in the wrong body. Many people assume the body and mind will match in gender, but this is not always the case. While I could go into a ton of details, that's more for a topic in itself. I'll just say those people are usually transsexual and change their body from male or female (or vice versa) at some point in their life because they have the mind of one, but the body doesn't match the mind.

Anyone felt like they have been limited by gender roles? Wanna act in a certain way, but somehow held back by gender roles (and taking heat if you do said action)? As for me, I feel androgynous, but have a male body and thus grew up into those roles. Only around late 2005 did these feelings came into play, but they gotten a lot stronger. I don't quite feel male or female, but society insists that you must be one or the other. There are times I feel like doing and dressing like a female, but that's society unacceptable. I don't see how the limits are suppose to help me. I can't be forced into being a “real man” when I'm simply not one and shouldn't have to feel bad about it. However, a pure male body doesn't feel “complete” and I strongly feel like I need some female features to balance it out, but not quite a pure female body. However, I have a deep voice, large Adam's apple, and would never get mistaken for a female in this current state. I'll take heat for it (being the social rebel I am), but that's not stopping me from living my life (no, the androgynous behavior and look isn't to make a statement to social).

I think all of us have masculine and feminine aspects. I was a very feminine child. Slowly but surely my masculine aspect became more developed until now I feel reasonably well balanced. I can be either soft and yeilding, or firm and forceful, as is appropriate for a given situation.

Well, I feel like I am stuck somewhere in the middle as well - I feel pretty balanced in that, I look feminine, even without all the crazy makeup and jewlerry, but I wear what looks good on me - I don't try to be a different gender than I am. I am straight too, so I don't regret being a woman (well except for one thing inappropriate to talk about in this topic), but I have never ever been into pretty, and pink things, or into fashion. I've also never been into sports or cars, building things can be pretty cool sometimes, I like hands on things. I have an interest in animals but not just the fuzzy and cute ones - the badass kinds too. I am emotional.... but laid back as well. I don't find I have any of the lecturing and whining qualities that many men complain that women have, but I still have some of the positive female traits. So I feel pretty good in that I seem pretty balanced.

I feel realy sorry though for people feeling like they have the wrong body. I have a friend, he's completely straight but, he likes to wear female bras and bikinis and stuff. I am pretty open minded and understanding about things, but it just makes me uncomfortable if I were to see a picture of him like that. It's ..... I dunno, not something I like to see, unless he were gay, then I would understand it more, but he isn't.

I think people in society don't like to be confused. You want to look at someone or hear their voice and automatically know 'thats a man' 'thats a woman'. Whenever you get confused and you aren't sure what gender they are, and if its even more complicated by what kind of personality and mind they have, than it really gets confusing to people, and people just want it to be easy to know who is male and who is female. But, absolutely, I think a balance is great, and no one needs to feel like they have to match some GENERAL guideline of 'we have to be like this'. I HATE most jewlerry and I can't think of a bigger waste of money than that, personally, unless it has a use like a watch or locket. If its just for looking pretty, well.... but then you are advertising it to everyone and making yourself a target of mugging, so, it seems too dangerous to wear jewlerry.

But anywho....

I think some sort of balance is even REQUIRED to make relationships completely work. How are two people gonna be compatible together if they always argue and can't stand how their partner's mind works? You have to LOVE it. They have to have as few annoying traits as possible! Everyone of us probably has SOME qualities of male or female. But then again, some things like FEELINGS are neither masculine nor feminine but HUMAN. Its only the difference in how we show and communicate the same exact feelings.

If there ever was a Third Sex, I'd be a member of that Gender. I love to watch European Sports on TV, yet I enjoy watering Flowers. I love my Die-Cast Buses and Taxis, yet I enjoy dressing up in Crushed Velvet Suits and very Lacey Blouses. I have a very edgy Personality, yet my Heart melts when I look at my Wittle Wheaten and I cuddle with him. Like Austin Powers, it would be hard to figure out my Gender, unless I was undressed.

Gender roles are simply another controlling factor in society. Society is rather fragile and unstable by nature and needs these rules in order to remain functionable. Without being able to control something, society would die on its arse, but in my opinion, it already has as it contradicts itself. People make excusues that society is forever evolving but its not, it merely cannot decide which handbag is in season this month. This is my way of saying that gender roles or anything else to do with conformity within society is BS.

This is a highly intricate subject and I will try to be pithy in my contribution to this issue.

From a biological perspective, women and men have separate duties according to their type. Women, despite what anyone says, have one duty. Women's duty is to the home. More specifically, to the children. When I eat in a restaurant, the maitre d' or host is usually a woman. At some point in private enterprise, old men (managers) discovered that beautiful waitresses served aesthetic, as well as financial purposes. Many men proudly bring their wives to dinner only to fawn over the waitress. I am almost 18 and can't seem to find employment. To my family, I maintain that the economy is in a recession, employment is on a rise, and many entry-level positions I am not psychologically fit to be in. This is partly true.

If I had a nice chest, gluteals, and was female, I could likely get a job that biologically was reserved for the man. Jobs that the old men would have me working include janitorial duties, washing dishes, and cleaning up other people's mess. This is contrary to the laws of nature. Women were destined to fill these low paying, menial positions, while men were reserved for the managerial and PR positions. To have a beautiful waitress serve my dinner and a hard-working slave of a young man wash my plate is an insult to my intelligence. Do they think that the waitress is going to get me to come back or perhaps invest more into their business? She's going to have to give me a lot more than good service if all they want is my money.

My dad is a nurse. My stepdad is a teacher. Both of my father figures are in professions that a hundred years ago were reserved for women. Political correctness, judicial activism, and the feminist movement of the 60's have changed that. Now all I see is more women superintendents, doctors, professors, and other professionals. It disgusts me. My mother comes home everyday to tired to cook dinner. She is neglecting her very nature as a mother by denying her maternal instincts to nurture me. Gender roles in society have completely changed the definition of family, and marriage.

When women begin to take over society, their vicious and ruthless. They seem to have lost their edge. Just short of the mark where they are legally mandated to register with selective services, among other discomforts of Western society. Gender roles have redefined the family. Women became effeminate while working jobs that are best suited to men, and lesbianism took over pop culture. This can all be traced to the days when women revolted and in a coup of extraordinary power, redefined the gender roles of what was man and what was woman.

At least that's how I see it. Because of political correctness, gender roles, and some stupid cultural revolution that happened some forty years ago, the only jobs that I can aspire to are a clerk at Old Navy. I'll stand by and wait for a women to fill that one.