gender issues

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I just feel totally confused about my gender issue. I'm biologically a woman. I don't have anything against being a woman biologically. What I hate is the social part of being a woman. I'm expected to behave a certain way just because I have a vagina. The whole clothes and make up stuff that heterosexual nt-women do seem totally alien to me. I want to be treated like a man socially. Thankfully, my aspie friends understand and actually treat me like a guy (especially if I'm the only female at the gathering).
I've been thinking about taking male hormones, but I know I don't want the surgeries. How will I find out what this really is? Am I a trans man? Genderqueer? Or a butch lesbian?

Maybe you are asexual and just don't like the hassle of other people's gender expectations. Dress and act the way you want and ignore the issue for a while. You may find your only problem isn't your problem at all, just the problem of certain people around you that are trying to fit you into what they think is right.

Yes, you do sound asexual to me. I consider myself to be one, also. I have no interest in being either male or female, really. I don't wear make up, high heels, dresses, skirts, or other clothes that are really feminine in appearance. Partly due to big feet, but also because I prefer men's styles, I buy men's foot gear.

If given the choice before birth, knowing what I know about life now, I would have chosen to be male. But I would also have chosen to be normal. I can't have either choice, though. Granted, I am not the happiest person on the planet because of what I am, but there is no point in wallowing in misery over the reality of what I am. At least I can be myself.

I think you guys may mean Androgynous instead of Asexual. An Asexual is someone who doesn't want sex or who doesn't experience sexual attraction & nothing like that was mentioned in the OP's post. I kind of relate to you OP in the reverse; I'm a guy physically who does not conform to the male gender role & I used to sometimes wish I was physically a woman because of it

Find your own path

Well, straight and lesbian are preferences in sex partners, not genders, but of course are defined relative to what you are. I'd say if you have no problem with the body you were born in, and like women, you probably would be called a butch lesbian. If attracted to men, then you would technically be "straight", even though your relationships would feel more like gay male relationships than what a typical straight woman has.

I don't see why taking hormones would change how others treat you, until it really changes your appearance dramatically. It's up to you if you'd feel your face and body would look more or less beautiful (and hence help or hurt your self-confidence) if they were more androgynous, and if being treated better by the general public is worth this (probably irreversible) change.