The LGBTIQ Diagnosis Experience

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I have been attempting to seek a DX for ASD for around two years. What has stopped me other than few resources available and expense is the real concern of discrimination and ultimately not receiving help.

Has anyone here who is transgender, generqueer, or non-binary sought out a diagnosis (whether pre, post, or non transition)? What has been your experience?

I am most concerned about telling the therapist my story (assigned female at birth) as a transgender, non-binary person (I appear male) and not getting the proper help. I have read here and in other places (including Tony Attwood's book) that ASD presents different in females than males. Is this something that can affect me being accurately dx'd or really anyone who is transgender? I know my gender socialization was female (pressured on to me), but really I feel like I didn't socialize as either gender.

In any case, lots of concerns and questions. Lots of thanks to all who read and share.

Hi

I am mtf trans girl diagnosed AS, however, I think of myself with ASD. I am chromosonal IS.

At one time I had like four or five doctors I went to.

The first question I got from the Autism doctor was, "Are you gay"? I went to him as a pseudo-male and I had been on estrogen for about four months at that point. This shows you what they will likely think.

I have seen a lot of psychology people, and they just write stuff down on their notepad, and have no response to Trans issues. I don't think you will be successful in finding such an enlightened doctor who understands the ASD/Trans combination.

I think it is more likely you can find a Trans doctor who thinks you have a psychotic disorder as the doc sees your ASD expression, and hears you say, "I am Trans", and draws the conclusion you are a very confused gay person who got confused by your ASD.

Or you find an autism doctor who understands your ASD expression, and hears you say, "I am trans" and thinks you are a gay person confused by your ASD, or that your ASD caused you to want to sex-change because of the lack of socialization of ASD (ASD fits with guys better than girls, so you became a man because of your ASD).

Anyone ASD/Trans should check for an IS condition. There are alot of them known to cause ASD or ASD-like expression.

Good luck. Sorry to not have a good story for you.

For someone who was Trans/Genderqueer/Non-binary first and diagnosed with AS second look at
http://twitter.com/quarridors http://practicalandrogyny.com/about/nat/

This is something that concerns me too, being diagnosed AS first,
I worry that if I attempt to 'come out' as trans* it'll just be assumed to be 'one more obsession' and no one will take me seriously.
The fact that I've actually been keeping very quiet about it since I was about 14 isn't going to help.

There seems to be a very strong correllation between the two 'conditions', both anecdotally and now scientifically
but that information still seems to be rather unknown by actual 'practitioners'.
Most doctors/therapists do not seem to see the 'big picture', and just deal with their specific area of expertise.

You did get diagnosed, so if it's ok to ask, did you get diagnosed as your current gender identity and expression or previous? Did you simply have to keep searching until you found an unbiased objective psychologist/doctor?

I'm aware of chromosonal IS conditions. As far as I know from net research, they are rare. Since the testing is cost prohibitive, I'm not getting tested.

All stories are valid, not just the positive ones. Thank you for sharing your experience.

Thank you for sharing these links and your experiences too.

Your concerns are important. Psychologists can bar you from getting help and resources you need if medical transition is desired.

I've read about this too. I've noticed as well that therapists stick to what they know. The ones who continue to research and learn seem to be rare.

It is easy to get "diagnosed" with GID. You just walk into a trans-knowledgeable doctor's office and say, "I have GID". My mom went with me to my first trans-knowledgeable psychologist, as she has always known. My dad is OK with it too. He was really cool. He told me, "Life is not a race. We all don't get to start at the same place". I think having my mom there helped because the psychologist and my mom talked a long time alone, and my mom probably confirmed that I have always been this way. I was presenting as an awesomely good-looking guy when I first went (no estro at this time).

I am not sure I answered your question.

I saw several trans-knowledgeable doctors and many autism-knowledgeable doctors. I never saw a trans-autism-knowledgeable doctor. However, there are many trans-knowledgeable doctors who have worked with many, many trans people, and they can see you are trans, and they also see you are somehow different than the many, many other trans people they have seen. They cannot figure out how you are different though.

I met two doctors like this. They could see me presenting as this awesomely good-looking guy, and their first statement to me was that I am trans. They could not figure out the ASD expression until I told them.

These people didn't seemed biased. I think some doctors have strong opinions about trans people. I think they accept trans people, but think we have a mental-illness, and not a legitimate cross-gender personality. Some doctors want you to call in advance because they worry about other people in their office who might not like us.

One autism-knowledgeable doctor I saw showed me a list of ASD expressions and I believe the paper showed the corresponding medicine one can take to deal with the specific ASD expression. I think there was like a long list of ASD expressions, and each one had a medicine to take to prevent? alleviate it? stop it? I never took any , so I don't know. Well, I took Resperdal for a while, and several anti-depressants cannot remember the names. They did nothing for me, except I was in bed for weeks on that experiment.

You have to decide why you want a diagnosis.

Maybe you are like me, you have suffered so much, and feel you should be recognized? Do you want to fight your ASD and take medicines to prevent your ASD expressions ?

I should have been more specific. I meant an AS/ASD dx.

I personally haven't seen a psychologist or doctor for GID since the early '00s. The ones I saw were knowledgeable and friendly, but strangely enough, I was not recommended for hrt. It did not stop me from getting hrt in any case. Most docs don't understand non-binary trans folk.

I have suffered immensely. I want to be recognized, gain more self acceptance, and get help for my functioning problems. I am not interested in fighting my ASD or expressions of it as I don't believe in fighting it as much as learning how to cope and deal with it. I am very adverse to taking medicines. I even dislike taking aspirin unless I'm in real pain.

Thanks again for your experiences.

I was diagnosed with AS at 13 and at the time the paperwork actually stated that I presented as more stereotypically masculine in thought and behavior patterns and interests (I'm ftm) which was interesting when I found out about it years later. I do wonder how my being trans plays into the statistics of male vs. female autism spectrum diagnoses. I was legally female when I was dx'd and didn't know what trans was yet (it was the '90s, it was less known then). So I don't know if that means I'm tallied in the "female" column, even though it's not accurate. Sorry, I know that's not really advice. Just thinking that you have interesting points to think about.

I wish I was dx'd earlier on, but when I was young ('80s) AS wasn't being dx'd.

Most likely I'm over thinking what could go wrong in seeking a dx, but I've had too many bad experiences with professionals.

Thank you.

I was diagnosed by about five different autism-knowledgeable doctors as each one passed me off to the next. I ended up with an autism specialist (he did his doctor research in autism).

NONE of them understood trans. If trans was mentioned, then they would just scribble in their notepads, and say nothing. I found it pointless to bring up trans issues with non-trans-knowledgeable doctors. I think they think you are gay and/or have a sexual obsession if you say you are trans.



There are autism-specialist doctors who are fun to see just because it is fun to talk autism with them, and they can help you better understand yourself. However, after spending maybe six months with the autism specialist I think I mostly talked and accomplished very little.

They can give you an all day autism test (forgot the name). They have you memorize/repeat flashcards, and do some stuff on a computer, and listen to audio, and do a written test where you draw what is on the other side of the paper. I don't know why I did it but the doctor suggested it and I was like, "OK. Sure".

[quote="LoveNotHate"]
I was diagnosed by about five different autism-knowledgeable doctors as each one passed me off to the next. I ended up with an autism specialist (he did his doctor research in autism).

NONE of them understood trans. If trans was mentioned, then they would just scribble in their notepads, and say nothing. I found it pointless to bring up trans issues with non-trans-knowledgeable doctors. I think they think you are gay and/or have a sexual obsession if you say you are trans.[/quote]

Makes sense to me. I have had not so good experiences with the medical profession in the past when disclosing being transgender.

There is only one problem here that I can forsee - it's a possibility that when I talk about my childhood, some stuff may seem strange gender wise. It's also possible it may not.

[quote]
There are autism-specialist doctors who are fun to see just because it is fun to talk autism with them, and they can help you better understand yourself. However, after spending maybe six months with the autism specialist I think I mostly talked and accomplished very little.

They can give you an all day autism test (forgot the name). They have you memorize/repeat flashcards, and do some stuff on a computer, and listen to audio, and do a written test where you draw what is on the other side of the paper. I don't know why I did it but the doctor suggested it and I was like, "OK. Sure".[/quote]

Was this autism specialist a therapist? My experience has been that a lot of therapists will listen. Few help you to work on issues.

I think one part of the test is the RDOS. The whole testing process seems interesting.

Thanks again for sharing - It has been helpful.

I am not sure what qualifies as "therapist" vs "psychologist" vs "specialist".

He has a doctor degree with research focus on autism, and sees people with all types of
mental conditions. I was sent to him because the other doctors knew he was keenly interested
in ASD people ("here is someone you might be interested in").

Note: He diagnosed me with AS, however, I refer to myself as having an ASD, because my brother, and father have an ASD, and they are "higher-functioning" than me. How can we all have AS, and I am the lower functioning ?

At first I was totally resistant to the idea to seek help, and totally resistant to the notion of taking medicine. It is an implication that something is wrong with my personality. And I was tortured by other people my whole life for being different, and tortured by being raised a male when my brain insisted I am female. To submit to a doctor and say something is wrong with me is validation for all the people that hurt me when I was growing up. It was hard to admit to myself that there is something wrong with me.

As stated above, he was willing to work with me, and prescribe me medicine to help alleviate any ASD problems I was having. Though, I never took medicine. He related his experiences to me, and let me talk about mine, and how they mapped to someone having an ASD. He attempted to get me in a local AS support group. I never worked on speech issues which I would of liked. If I went there again, then I would write down all things that I would like to work on.

A troubling thing happened though. He looked at my medical records from another doctor that showed I was trans and then when he told me he did - though he never said anything about the trans issue - I never felt the same going there. I felt like he might be harboring hatred towards me. Though, he never showed any signs. I had a lot more self-hate back then, so my self-hate might of convinced me other people also hated me.

I don't believe there is anything wrong with having an ASD or being trans. It is society ultimately that needs to be more tolerant. I am sorry that you were put through the torture of forced male socialization.

It is good that your doctor was willing to work with you. It seems to me to be the exception. I will admit that I am jaded from my experiences with the helping professions.

I'm sorry about your medical record outing. It sucks majorly.

[quote="Twolf]I don't believe there is anything wrong with having an ASD or being trans. It is society ultimately that needs to be more tolerant.
[/quote]

Society needs to accommodate ASD children better.

That was not the problem.

I never became a human until HRT. I never formed a male personality.

I have had no socialization.

During HRT the parts of the brain that never developed are integrated into the rest of the brain. This integration took me a long, long time. These parts form the personality. At first, the personality is so sacred, sensitive, angry, horrified and has low self-esteem. It has been screaming out for such a long time expressed as "gender dysphoria" (where I would secret wish I was girl, or dress in mom's clothes and tuck my penis, and a lot of other possibly disturbing things that I won't mention).

The integration is physical. The hormones influence physical changes to happen in the brain. Self-confidence is slowly built, well-being, happiness is gained slowly, intelligence is gained, the personality is slowly formed and gender dysphoria slowly disappears. The brain no longer wishes it was female - it knows it is female now - it can express itself.

However, despite all these positives, despite all the progress, despite that I can look in the mirror and see a beautiful near-woman looking at me, despite that I dress as a woman at work, I still suffer mentally.

I can't make the trauma leave my mind. I am depressed and sleep a lot to shut down my mind so I don't think about it. The brain was tortured for a lifetime and maybe it was too much. It tells me to kill myself with CO2 gas in garage. I think about killing myself nearly everyday, and I sleep many hours to shut down my mind.

I am happy on so many levels yet crippled with these suicidal thoughts.

I think I need "positive affirmation therapy". I need spend a few years going to someone who tells me over and over how beautiful, special, wonderful, lovely I am , and it is not my fault.

Thank you for saying sorry.