One trip, two stories

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STORY 1

On Sunday I traveled from Warsaw, Poland to Dallas, Texas. The trip consisted of two flights: from Warsaw to Chicago, and from Chicago to Dallas. I arrived at the airport one hour before departure. I was told to come at least two hours before the flight, but I ignored that advice, because in the past one hour was always sufficient. However, this time it was different. Planes to Chicago, New York and Toronto were departing almost simultaneously and all passengers came at the same hour. The result were unusually long lines and nervous atmosphere. I had to ask people to let me through, because otherwise I would miss the plane. I didn't like doing so, because I considered this unfair to other passengers, and unbecoming an honest person, but I had no choice. When I finally got to my seat on the plane, I was overloaded. The chatter of people became unbearable and the voice in the loudspeaker was piercing my mind. I wanted to read a book, but I couldn't concentrate. It would help me to stim by shaking my leg, but I was afraid that this would bother the lady sitting next to me. The plane departed with delay and I became scared that I will miss the plane to Dallas in Chicago, as I only had one hour there. I was also upset by the fact that I was sitting in the middle of the wing, so even though it was a window seat, I couldn't see anything outside. The engine was attached to the wing and was making lot of noise.

On the plane I suffered from two "sleep attacks", but othewise the flight to Chicago was uneventful. Despite the initial delay we arrived early, but not enough to make me relaxed. I hurried through the border checkpoint and the customs, and took a train to another terminal, only to discover that American Airlines check-in area was completely remodelled by adding self-checking terminals. This made me very confused. I thought of using one of the terminals, but it required an AAdvantage number or a credit card, for identification purposes. I didn't have an AAdvantage number, and sweeping a credit card was against my rules, so I could not use the machine. There was nobody to ask, so I spent some time circling helplessly without knowing what to do. Finally I got to some counter, occupied by a lady whom I managed to convince to issue me a boarding pass. She initally seemed to be surprised by my request. Then I went through a security checkpoint and found my gate. At this point I was all trembling. I sat in the waiting area, but it was crowded and full of people looking in my direction. So instead I just went for a walk down the corridor, and this has calmed me a bit. I dreamed of a trampoline that passengers could use to relieve their stress by jumping up and down.

I have spent most of the second flight writing diary on my laptop. I have found Dallas/Fort Worth airport fortunately lacking major modifications. My buddy was waiting for me; when we were leaving the airport he nearly hit another car. I was shaken and suggested stopping on the shoulder to cool off, but he didn't see any need to do so. On the whole, the trip was rather uneventful, but even so it has left me dead tired.


STORY 2

On Sunday I traveled from Warsaw, Poland to Dallas, Texas. The trip consisted of two flights: from Warsaw to Chicago, and from Chicago to Dallas. I was told to come two hours before departure, but based on my experience I decided that one hour will be enough. And rightly so. There were unusually long lines at the airport because planes to Chicago, New York and Toronto were departing almost simultaneously and all passengers came at the same hour. Nice people allowed me to skip the line when my departure time was approaching. When I got to my seat on the plane, I felt somewhat tired, but then I got some sleep which made me feel better. The plane departed with delay, but not very significant, and I hoped that the pilot will "floor it" so that we come to Chicago on time to catch the plane to Dallas (I only had one hour there). I have found myself sitting in the middle of the wing, so I couldn't see anything outside, but at least it was a window seat, my favorite.

On the plane I fell asleep twice. The flight to Chicago was uneventful. Despite the initial delay we arrived early, and it was clear that I had enough time. With my usual speed I went through the border checkpoint and the customs, and took a train to another terminal. The American Airlines check-in area was remodelled by addition of self-checking terminals. I though that this was an interesting idea and I investigated one of the terminals. It required an AAdvantage number or a credit card, for identification purposes. I didn't have an AAdvantage number, and I disliked an idea of sweeping a credit card, so I didn't use the machine. I though that it would be a good idea to sign to AA frequent flyer program, which would assign me a number. Then I could use the self-checking terminal next time I fly. After some searching I have found a counter where a lady issued me a boarding pass. Then I went through a security checkpoint and found my gate. All the activities of the day has left me somewhat agitated, so I calmed myself by going for a walk down the terminal's corridor.

I have spent most of the second flight writing diary on my laptop. When I arrived at the good ol' Dallas/Fort Worth airport, my buddy was waiting for me. When we were leaving the airport he avoided an accident with another car. Adrenaline rushed to my head, but quickly subsided as there was no harm done. On the whole, the trip was tiring as usual, but rather uneventful and without any problems.


Both stories are true accounts of my trip. Which style do you prefer when reading and writing? Do you emphasize good or bad things?

Last edited by magic on 22 Sep 2004, 5:05 am, edited 1 time in total.

This is off topic, but what is a sleep attack?

It is a dramatic name for unexpectedly falling asleep during the day. "Suffering from a sleep attack" sounds more interesting than "dozing off", doesn't it?

and I thought I was the only one... I usually refer to them as 'brownouts' or 'in standby'

they drive my family/former employers mad but most other people think it's funny.

just out of interest, do you find late afternoon the worst time for fighting off a 'sleep attack'?

the second account is easier to read (less stream of consciousness if you will), the difference seems to be that the level of detail omitted in the second account shifts the emphasis away from stress symptoms (although the first is fine if you need to sound off as we all do..... )


dunc

I prefer reading the second style of writing, but not because it emphasizes the more positive things. As duncvis has said, it omitted some of the details of your adventure, but it also provides us with more of a window into your thoughts. You explain yourself more fluidly in the second one than in the first. The first seems more like a list of "this is what happened today," but the second one is held together by the consistent experience of your character (you, in this instance), who tells us his thoughts.

I think you can write either negative or positive experiences in this style, and you don't need to omit details like "it was one of my rules to not swipe credit cards," because if that is how you think, go ahead and write that, don't change it to "I don't like the idea of swiping credit card." Even though you've said it's the same story written in two different styles, it feels more to me like it's the same story written by two different people. The first person's experience on the plane and in the airport is drastically different from the second person's experience. I would like to read about the first person's experience in the style of the second person's writing. Can you try doing that? I'd be interested in the results.

The main thing that counts, Magic, is that you're back safe and sound.

Thank you for your comments. First I would like to assure you that both accounts were written by one person. Both stories came to my mind rather naturally. I am somewhat surprised by Civet's remark that the second story gives more window into my thoughts. If I were to label both accounts, the first would be what I experienced, and the second what I remember. I think that my thoughts are more accurately described in the first story. On the other hand, the second one is a window into my memory. Normally my past perception would be limited to the second account. The trip went without problems, so I would quickly forget all little inconveniences and remember only positive aspects. This time, however, I made a conscious effort to observe myself and note all details, and the result is the first account. I was actually quite surprised to discover that, at the gate in Chicago, I was physically shaking, in a state of near panic, even though it was my 8th time at that airport, and everything was going fine. Of course, I am often in this state. I diffuse it by pacing or taking a walk and then forget about it - what would be the benefit of keeping a memory of some irrational panic?

All right, enough rambling about my mental states.

I really don't know how to do that. Both stories just came to me; I would need to work really hard to come up with something different.


The worst time for me is early afternoon. I am especially prone to falling asleep after eating or while reading a book. Of course, this also happens on other occasions. My neck goes limp and if I don't prop my head, I can end up with it hanging in an awkward position. Sometimes a "sleep attack" can be quite embarassing, e.g. when I am a guest and the host is talking to me.

sleep grabs me after eating and reading a book (i sort of have to read while i'm eating). blood rushing to stomach to digest food, i believe, so makes you tired, which is why you're not supposed to swim an hour after eating.

the siesta is a marvellous idea.

i prefer the first account - i'm more inside your head and feelings, which makes it more interesting, and there's more suspense or "drama", which makes me want to read on. the second style is more succinct and "factual". it depends on why you're writing (fiction, travelogue, etc.) and who you're writing for (audience). both styles well written - i hope my new undergraduates are as good as you!

V.