Our relationship to attention

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I feel out of place among the young writers and musicians in the communities I share in. Like most, I desire attention, but I think that my relationship to attention is the problem and not the lack of attention itself.

I don't want more attention and praise, I want to be able to create without the number of comments, follows, or favorites dictating my feelings about my work. I want to choose the paths that resonate with me and my goals, not the ones that will get the most possible responses. I want it to be a second, smaller pleasure after the main event, like ice cream after dinner or cigarettes after sex, not the pleasure.

That other people could rob me of the joy of creating and my inspiration if I let them is far more terrifying to me than my work being ignored.

I feel as though talking to others just saps the life out of me.

if one is to be an artist in the public sphere one must come to terms with this before anything else can happen.