Having my toenails painted affects others !?!?!?!

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TL/DR: People are getting butthurt and projecting their ideas of what they think is correct onto me, and it's over things that are completely irrelevant to their existence.

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I have my toenails painted. There have been a few peoples reactions that are less than indifference. By that I mean that they have an issue with it. I see someone being indifferent as a plus. I'm not asking them to care and approve of me painting my toenails. I don't care about that. Indifference to others choices is the optimal choice as it results in the smallest waste of personal resources on something that you have no control over.

I have a variety of reasons I paint my toenails. They are my own reasons. I still present male and others think it's wrong.

It's not important why. No really, it's not. Who cares.

This goes beyond anything LGBT related stuff as well. For the last two years, I've had a twin over full bunkbed. No one uses the top bunk. I used the top bunk for storage. Occasionally I'd make a cave fort out of it. Yeah, that's right... A Cave Fort. And when people find out, they'd have a fit that I'm an adult, and I have a job and make money and should have a real bed. So f*****g what!! ! It's my paycheck, my bedroom, my bed, my desire to have a cave fort. Who cares what property I own and what I do with it.

Since I moved over the weekend, the bunkbed is going to a family I'm good friends with for two of their children to use. I'm going to get a new bed to replace it. I'm thinking of getting another bunk bed. So what. If it's what I want, I have the money and the wherewithal to acquire what I want. If you're going to be butthurt over it, don't waste my time, don't nickle and dime me with your pathetic sad attempts at telling me what to do. Just go be stupid somewhere else. I've gotten to the point where I bluntly tell people, this isn't an issue. I rudely(to them it seems rude) cut them off and tell them that it's none of their business).

And this leads to the next thing. What size bed I'm going to get. I live by myself. Everyone wants for me to get a queen size bed. I'm getting a full size bed. It's not like they're coming over and sleeping with me, or sharing the bed. I live by myself. They have no say and yet they keep on trying to tell me what to do with my paycheck and my living space. It's super annoying when everyone gives me their opinion on what I do in my bedroom, and I actually think less of them as a human being for trying to control/manipulate me.

If the pinnacle of your existence is worrying that a "male" has their toenails painted, or that they don't have the type of bed or size of bed that you approve of, stop wasting your existence worrying because you have no control over it.

JUST STOP IT.

It's not worth your health and your well being to stress out over someone elses decisions that have no bearing on your existence.

I'm transitioning MTF... So what.
Still single.... So what.
Still a virgin... So what.
I want a full size bed.... So what.
I want a bunk bed so I can have cave-forts whenever I want... So what
I still play with action figures and legos... so what
I like to play video games in my spare time.... so what
I like to eat beef cooked rare... so what
Even though I present male, I wear a bra every day because HRT has blessed me with boobage.... So what
I want a full head of hair, so I'm seeing specialists about that.... So what

There are a ton more things that I like to do and so what

If you're butthurt, and I'm not actually causing your butt to hurt, then shutup and leave me alone.


Here's some alternative ideas you can go with instead of meddling in the lives of others.
Find the cure for {insert name of disease or affliction}
Write the next great american novel
Balance your budget
Take your children or pet(s) to the park and bond with them
Learn a new skill or take up a new hobby
Do something to improve your life
Exercise

I don't care what you do, just don't nickle and dime me with your ideas of how to live my life. If I need help, I'll ask for help, but unless I do, everything is fine.


There I'm done with this rant. I just needed to get this off my chest.

They have problems with your *toenails*? I've never, ever understood so many people's need to police other adults' entirely harmless lives. Nor the freakouts about gender presentation. The craziest part of it is that they don't seem to notice that fashions and norms change, generation to generation, so they'll be all over you to exhibit the propriety of 40 years ago. I remember being briefly scandalized by seeing chubby girls wearing very tight spandex tops, because In My Day a chubby girl wouldn't dare show off her body like that. After about 15 seconds of shock horror I realized: wtf, it's their bodies, and good for them for being at home in them and unashamed. Same with the Visible Bra Strap OMG a bra strap.

Anyway, yes, it's your money, enjoy your cave fort and your toenails. As a 30 year boob-owner I can't say I see the excitement about them, but maybe there's a novelty factor. Anyway, enjoy.

ETA: what they're saying, btw, is "You don't know how to live, we have to tell you how." And it's because they genuinely cannot imagine that someone who doesn't live as they do, or as they would want to live, can have a good life and be happy. At some point -- if this is your family, or good friends -- you're going to have to sit them down and have a pretty sturdy conversation with them about that and about how offensively patronising it is of them. You should know though that you may lose a few of them -- that some of the least imaginative will decide you're an alien creature and they have no means of communication with you. And if pressed they will admit this. It's the essence of bigotry but they truly have no means of overcoming it.

...Why? It's not 'wrong'. I don't even see why it's an issue.
Every day people somehow manage to astound me in new ways.

Maybe they are jealous that you can actually reach your toes to paint them and they can't. They may also be jealous that you have the perfect type of bed to make a great cave fort. It sounds to me like they are people who live by other people's rules and so think you must also. Keep doing what you are doing and live by your own rules .

If I were you I would bug them about how they should get bunk beds because they really need a fort in order to take the crankiness out of them. Basically turn the tables on them.

The toenail thing I don't really get why anyone would care - especially knowing you're transitioning. But even if you weren't, while toenail polish isn't my style, so what if it's yours? FYI I can't say I'd never paint my toenails as I would if one of my God daughters insisted I let them do them or my finger nails or something, then sure, why not? Anyways, seems kinda weird that anyone is more than indifferent about it. Especially if you typically wear socks and shoes.

As for the bed thing... I totally get the I can do whatever I want thing and that you want to build cave forts whenever you feel like it. OK, again, like the toenails.. whatever floats your boat. But I also get why your friends would encourage you to buy something more "grown up," or "adult," as they're likely looking out for your social/dating life. It'd be quite odd to go to someone's place and find out they sleep in a "kids' bed," by choice. Now, if it were a bigger sized bunkbed with loft storage or a desk or something cool up top to optimize space use in a condo or something, ok, that'd be more easily acceptable. But I agree with your friends that the perception others have of you by sleeping in a "kids'," bed isn't likely good and it does sound like they're looking out for your social well being.

All that said, if you don't give a flying f**k what others think about the bed you sleep in and YOU like it - well then, have at it all you want. Just be aware that it's more probable than not that anyone you brought to your room might think that was a bit weird.

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