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StarCity
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08 Nov 2014, 2:02 pm

I have a friend who is like a brother. We enjoy eachothers company, and have a lot of fun laughing and joking together.
Sometimes he sleeps over at mine, and we sleep in the same bed.
Sometimes I find myself getting horney, and cuddle up to him. I always ask him if he is OK with it, and he replies that he likes it.

The thing is that it's 99% of the time me cuddling up to him, and I'd like him to cuddle me too.

Sometimes we sleep nude together if we have had a bath before bed. We share the same bath water coz we are very close.

I can't understand why in bed if we are both laid on our same side, he moves close to me so we end up "spooning", and then when I put my arm over his chest he holds my hand; but if I am the one with my back to him & move close against him he doesn't do anything.

I like being hugged mutually, rather than it always being me doing the hugging.

Does anyone have any idea why he may be like this because I can't understand it?


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We, the people on the Autistic Spectrum have a choice.
We can either try to "fit in" with the rest of society, or we can be so egocentric that we can't be bothered.
I choose the actor. I observe NT's. I listen to their socializing. I practice it, so in social situations I can just emulate/mimic what is expected.
It isn't natural for me, but it enables me to "fit in".
It is VERY tiring and draining, but at least we can appear like them even though it is an act. Like being on the stage.
They can't see it is emulation, and so we are accepted.


auntblabby
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08 Nov 2014, 11:14 pm

I have to ask, are you sure he is not gay?



StarCity
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09 Nov 2014, 1:53 pm

Hi auntblabby,
He isn't gay, but he isn't straight either. However intimacy isn't about sex. It's about people that have feelings for eachother being close and intimate.


_________________
We, the people on the Autistic Spectrum have a choice.
We can either try to "fit in" with the rest of society, or we can be so egocentric that we can't be bothered.
I choose the actor. I observe NT's. I listen to their socializing. I practice it, so in social situations I can just emulate/mimic what is expected.
It isn't natural for me, but it enables me to "fit in".
It is VERY tiring and draining, but at least we can appear like them even though it is an act. Like being on the stage.
They can't see it is emulation, and so we are accepted.


Max1951
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09 Nov 2014, 2:50 pm

Congrats on your beautiful friendship.

Tell him about your confusion.

Tell him how you feel.

Do not make him feel defensive; maybe you are simply more touchy than he is.

You gotta let him know how you feel, while making sure not to sound too demanding or needy.



StarCity
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09 Nov 2014, 2:57 pm

Hi Max1951,

Yes it is a beautiful friendship. Many thanks for your reply.

Today I met his new girlfriend, and she is really nice. I phoned him to tell him what a genuine, caring, and sensitive person she is and that she'd be a good girlfriend for him. He greatly appreciated my opinion.


_________________
We, the people on the Autistic Spectrum have a choice.
We can either try to "fit in" with the rest of society, or we can be so egocentric that we can't be bothered.
I choose the actor. I observe NT's. I listen to their socializing. I practice it, so in social situations I can just emulate/mimic what is expected.
It isn't natural for me, but it enables me to "fit in".
It is VERY tiring and draining, but at least we can appear like them even though it is an act. Like being on the stage.
They can't see it is emulation, and so we are accepted.